


Something is Wrong with Mishima...

by AngelyDevilus



Category: Persona 5
Genre: Akira just wants to help, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Blood and Violence, Concerned Friends, Hallucinations, Heavy Angst, Loneliness, M/M, Other, Psychological Horror, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, mishima has a palace(wow so original)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-28
Updated: 2020-06-19
Packaged: 2020-09-26 06:21:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 64,725
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20385073
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AngelyDevilus/pseuds/AngelyDevilus
Summary: After Mishima had his conversation with Akira about his recent behavior and clearing things up, he felt like he was turning a new leaf, that he has gotten better, that he can continue on with the phansite and being their admin just as before. But for some reason, he still feels an emptiness, he feels the guilt and shame of letting himself get so hungry for fame, even though Akira himself said it was fine. But....Why does he not feel relief? Why does he still think he hasn't changed? Why does he feel so stupid? Why does no one want him around? Why couldn't he stop crying?  When did he start feeling disgusted with himself? When did the world started to feel like it wants him gone?  And lastly....When was the last time he felt genuinely happy..?





	1. The Beginning

Mishima walked home with new determination in mind after his conversation with Akira. While he didn't feel like he deserved it, he's glad that Akira forgave him for how he had been acting recently. It was a real punch in the gut finding out he had a shadow, and what was even more embarrassing was that the phantom thieves met said shadow! He hoped to god he didn't sound as bad as the other distorted people they went up against. But that wasn't important right now, what's important is that he gets back to work on the phansite. 

It didn't take long for him to reach his house. He went through the door and headed straight upstairs into his room hopping onto the computer. If he remembered correctly it's still mid day so neither of his parents would be home by now. He'll probably eat dinner later once they finished eating so he'll hold off on snacking for now.

As usual there were some hate comments and threads which he had to filter out, check up on the poll, searching for any possible targets that the Phantom Thieves can clear through and just watch how the community is going in general. It's not exactly a vivid or exciting job to do daily but it's his job. And if he can't do this one job right... 

Well what else can he really do?

\--

It's already been a few weeks since that day, while he did his usual job of sending Akira the requests/targets, he thinks its been awhile since the two actually hung out. I mean it's understandable of coarse that he'd be busy, Phantom Theiving and all, but maybe he can schedule a time where they can just hang out together. 

The final bell for school already rang over 15 minutes ago, Akira tends to be out the door and already on the move once the bell rings, so it's probably much easier to just text him. He already had to send him a target anyways so it's more of a reason to. 

_Hey Akira! Found another hit for you!_

He had no struggles sending him the usual information about the target, since it's normal business for them Akira gave his usual short response in return. Alright Mishima deep breathes, it's just a simple question, you just want to hang out with him. Simple as that...but yet he feels so nervous about it for some reason...

_Akira, if it's okay, would you like to hang out some time? We can go to the arcade, the park, see a movie, anything you'd like!___

_ __ _

_ __ _

That's sound good right? Yeah of coarse it is! Just a simple question with some suggestions on what they can do and that's it. Before he can talk himself out of it he quickly hit send. Now all he had to do was wait.

The sun soon began to set as Mishima finally started walking home. He checked his phone once more, he still didn't get a response from Akira. He would've initially thought that he just didn't read it, but the "read" icon was almost mocking him. He clearly read it, but how come he never responded to it? Was something stopping him? Did he only have time to read it and not write a response? But it's been almost 4 hours....

He shook his head, he's being selfish again! It's quite obvious the reason why Akira couldn't get back to him, he's always doing something. Hell, right now he's probably getting some more gear for when they do their job as Phantom Thieves, he thought he was over this whole "desperate for attention" phase, but it's most likely still lingering. He needs to learn not to be so clingy. He can simply ask him another time or even wait for Akira to get back to him, no big deal. Besides that's not important right now, he has a Phansite to attend to.

\--

It happened again. 

Mishima walked out of a electronics store with a bag in hand. This is the fifth time Akira didn't respond to his texts that weren't about the targets on the phansite. He must be a lot more busy than he thought he would be these past couple of weeks if he didn't have any spare time to hang out. Maybe he should ask tomorrow afterschool if he's okay or suggest something to help relax him. For someone who always on his toes fighting the corrupted society, it's a good idea to get him something or go somewhere that'll make him settle down and just let go of his worries for a little bit. 

Now that he thinks about it he is starting to get a little hungry, there was that diner his classmates won't stop talking about, maybe he should get something from there.

When he entered the diner and walked in to look for a seat, he was surprised to see Akira sitting in a booth not to far away. Mishima lit up, he can finally talk to him for a little bit! He quickly calmed himself, he shouldn't be getting so overly excited about this. Yes it's been a good amount of weeks since he's last properly talked to him but it's not like he hasn't seen him in over a year. He quickly calmed himself down and walked over."Akira?" he then blinked seeing a bright orange haired girl right across from him"Oh crap, and you're with a girl?" how did he miss her?

Said orange haired girl then turned to Akira"Is this a friend of yours?"she asked him

**"Friend might be a bit much."**Akira said scratching his cheek a little looking to the side before looking back at her. 

"_Ouch_"he unconsciously thought. He's not gonna lie, that kind of stung a little, but it's not like he's completely blowing him off.

"Hmm. How 'bout I ask him to help with my promise?"the orange haired girl said perking up

He grew confused turning to her "What promise..?"

Next thing he knew he was sitting down beside Akira, which oddly made him feel a bit better, facing the orange haired girl who he now learned her name was Futaba Sakura trying to make a conversation with her about their generation. They did end up sharing a mutual interest in online activity as he just finished asking which type of platform she's on.

"Whoa that's the first time I've heard anyone actually say that out loud...kek!"she said amazed

"h-huh? That's all you took from the conversation...?"he asked surprised and a little disappointed but he hid that part before anyone noticed.

"Ah I've got it!" she suddenly exclaimed out of nowhere which kinda startled him a bit."This overwhelmingly forgettable appearance, generic speech style, and total lack of sex appeal...Nishima...are you an NPC!?"she asks wide eyed and enthusiastic.

Okay, those were multiple hits to his confidence and self-esteem. Now that he thinks about it how did he even have a shadow with a major ego when he hardly ever receives compliments of praise to begin with?

"Savage" Akira laughed finding the whole thing humorous.

Ah right, Akira. He was the one that gave him that boost, but at least he's past that now. He then blinked again in realization that he was laughing at what she said. Oh, it was just a joke. Well if it was just a joke than there's no harm done-

"But it'd be even more savage to lie about what he is!"Futaba started saying back to Akira looking completely serious"And besides, NPCs are an important piece in the jigsaw puzzle of gaming!"she exclaimed.

Alright maybe this joke is becoming a little to harsh"You're not making this any better!"he tried to say" And more importantly, my name isn't Nishima!"he did not forget her messing up his name too. 

"Anyway I'm glad you spawned here!"she said cheerfully completely ignoring what he said"I killed two promises with one Nishima today! Learn about my generation and have a normal conversation with a stranger my age, Aw yeah!" she then goes to talk to Akira for a bit thanking him for taking her to the diner. Mishima tried to play it off a bit by asking what she was doing after this but all it did was make it more awkward as she bluntly replied going home. He couldn't help but feel more embarrassed as the three eventually paid for the meal and left the diner. Mishima quickly turned to Akira before he left with Futaba.

"Hey Akira while I have you here, when's the next time your available? Maybe we can try to hang out sometime?"he asked hopefully.

"Sorry Mishima but I'm not gonna be available any time soon. We have a new palace to worry about so that's our top priority right now."he said with a neutral face.

"O-oh no that's perfectly fine I understand! I guess it might've been to much to ask considering your other um,"he clears his throat remembering they're in public"job. No need to worry about it, just hit me up when you have a little bit of time to yourself okay?"he quickly said

Akira simply nods and went ahead leaving him with Futaba as Mishima sighs.

"What's up with you NPC?"Futaba asked curious.

"First of all it's Mishima,"he began"and nothing much, I was just wondering the next time I can hang out with Akira."

"Why wonder about that? Can't you just text him if he's available?"she asked confused.

"I mean we do text each other a lot but he just never really has the time for anything"he sighed.

"You sure you texted him about it properly?"she chimed leaning a little closer but not to the point where it was in his personal space.

"Of coarse I did!"he said almost defensively but luckily she didn't pick up on it to much. He decided it was better to just show her what he means rather than just convincing her. He hastily took out his phone and showed her the text log he had with Akira "See?"

She strolled over and looked at their last few conversations with a hum" Hmmm, your conversations seem pretty one-sided if you ask me Nishima."she stated in a matter of fact manner.

He was slightly surprised completely disregarding that she didn't say his name right again and looked at his texts "One-sided..?"he muttered. What does she mean by that? 

She was about to respond but then they both jumped a little hearing Akira call for Futaba once more seeing she was still a bit behind him"Oh gotta get going, later!" she quickly said before rushing over to Akira as they both walked away into the distance before he couldn't see them anymore. 

He sighs putting his phone away. He doesn't really get what it means to have a one-sided conversation but he'll figure that out later. Besides that, he guess it was a bit to hopeful to ask for his time. Considering Futabas situation, of coarse he would spend his valuable time helping her out rather than messing around with him. He barely has any of it to just sit down and bullshit with one of his friends, there's always something he has to do. He held the bag strap he has in his hands tightly before walking home, maybe next time he meets him he'll be more free to hang out with him.

All he can really do now is hope....


	2. Realization

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Mishima starts to take in more of his surroundings and looking deeper into the interactions of others, he begins to realize something...

A week went by since his interaction with Akira and Futaba at the cafe. Mishima still didn't get what she meant when she said that his and Akiras conversations were one-sided. He's been looking at his conversations with him ever since, and he just couldn't get it. He shook his head putting his phone away, he shouldn't worry about that right now. Class had recently ended as the students were either talking with one another or leaving the class. Akira of coarse already left to do his daily things. And once again, he texted him if he was available today which sadly gave him no response. Must've been busy today as well...

Mishima got up and walked out of his class. He was beginning to feel a little dehydrated and went down to the lunch area of the courtyard to get something to drink. He sighs in relief seeing that nobody was occupying the area, which made it less stressful due to not having to deal with other students, and quickly went to the machine with the drinks.

When he got his water and took a big gulp of it, he heard footsteps approaching to his area. He bottled the water putting it away and quickly looked around. He perked up seeing two guys approaching the field part of the courtyard. Out of instinct he quickly hid his presence a little more to make sure they didn't try to confront him, but his eyes widened in shock seeing that it was none other than Ryuji and Akira finishing up a jog in their tracksuits. Ryuji panted putting his hands on his knees trying to catch his breath while Akira took out a towel and quickly wiped his face underneath his glasses.

"Woo! That was quite a damn run right Akira?"Ryuji grinned at him doing a final stretch while Akira chuckles and nod"Hey thanks again for spending time with me today, I hope you weren't to busy."he said sounding more serious yet grateful.

Akira nonchalantly waved his hand "Don't worry it's fine I wasn't that busy today"he smiled unzipping the jacket of his tracksuit"Besides, a run sounded pretty good since the weather is really nice today"

"Hell yeah it was!"Ryuji laughed high fiveing him"I think I'm getting a little faster too! Although I just hope Nakaoka doesn't try to interrupt us like last time, I really appreciate what you did back then man. You really didn't have to get involved honestly."Ryuji sweatdropped scratching the back of his neck.

"Ryuji don't worry about it"Akira smiled patting his shoulder"You're my friend, of coarse I'm gonna look out for you. Besides, someone has to make sure you don't do anything to crazy while you're out there" 

"Hey come on man I can take care of myself!"he whined out jokingly

"You sure? Because last time I checked you were the one shouting about the Phantom Thieves"Akira snickers trying to cover his mouth with his hand.

"Okay just because I did it that one time doesn't automatically mean I'm gonna blow all of our covers!"he pouted which resulted in the two laughing together knowing how ridiculous they sound.

"Well anyways, see you later man!"Ryuji waved as Akira responded with a wave of his own before the two seperated. Mishima slowly came out of his hiding spot with a mixed expression on his face. The interaction they had, it was more...natural and relaxed then what he has experienced. And what was the thing that Akira said in the beginning.

**I wasn't that busy today**

Did...did Akira ditch him?

He shook his head fast getting rid of the thought. Of coarse he wasn't! He just wanted to spend time with Ryuji is all. Besides he knows of what he went through, if anything he was more of a victim to Kamoshida than he was. Mishima was lucky to just end up as the bastards messenger!<s>and punching bag, plaything, stress ball for him to choke, test subject for se-</s>

He should really stop doubting Akira, he trusts him. Ryuji just simply needed him more than he did. Not to mention he's so much fun to hang out with, confidant, cool, laid back, and has an admirable rebellious spirit to him. He's still himself even after all the crap he went through in life. Of coarse he would be the better pick between the two of them! He doesn't blame Akira one bit! Besides, it's not like he's that entertaining to be around. Akira probably did this as a one time thing. There's no way he would just keep choosing(<s>ditching</s>)to hang out with his other friends over him every single time. He's bound to want to spend time with him at some point!

\--

He saw Akira with another friend today.

He was a rather interesting character to say the least. He remembered meeting him the one time he and Akira went to the planetarium to search for "The rumored eccentric". Let's just say it wasn't the best meeting for the two of them. It landed with the guy saying he wasn't exactly eloquent and Akira subtly making him feel guilty for insulting him like that even after he apologized. He didn't exactly feel the best after that whole encounter. If he remembered correctly the guys name was Yusuke Kitagawa. A very talented art student with an eye for beauty and the dramatic, but with the way Akira hangs around him so often it's safe to assume it's more so a lovable trait than a negative one. 

It's not like he intentionally found them, he just wanted to get some fresh air since he's been working on the phansite for awhile on his computer. The next thing he knew he saw Akira and Yusuke sitting on the park bench under the shade while Yusuke showed him his current sketches and ideas. Akira seemed to smile and responded with a slight chirp to his voice. He really did look happy to hang out with him.

<s>he never smiles like that when he's around me</s>

Mishima decided to look away from the two, this is clearly spying on them and a breach of privacy. He already told himself he was better than this after the whole fame hungry phase. He's just spending time with another friend, he has every right to do what he wants with his time. Mishima can't dictate what he should do regardless of his own personal feelings. So why did he get rejected again for Yusuke this time? Well when he thinks about it Yusuke was a very interesting person to be around. Much more entertaining then him. Not to mention that he's a fairly beautiful looking man. When he got to know Yusuke a little more after the planetarium he noticed that he was elegant, poised, talented, and always had a soft look and movement to his face and the way he moves. Mishima could only wish to be as elegant as he was. 

He noticed that Yusuke had begun to teach Akira some art techniques and history so he can understand his piece better. Akira seemed to have gotten the grasp of it, since he's a quick learner after all, and gave him a bit more advice on what else Yusuke should try since he seems to have a more so traditional mindset.

Mishima quickly left the park, he didn't feel right for some reason but he ignored it. Right now, going back home and staying inside holed up in his room sounded really good to him at the moment. It's where he belongs after all...

\--

This is starting to become a trend he realizes...

He went to look for Akira to ask if he honestly did want to still hang out with each other. While he did end up finding Akira, he also ended up finding Takamaki-san with him. She smiled at him with a cheerful gleam in her eyes, he hasn't really seen that in her for awhile....

"Hey Akira you ready to head out? I would've thought you were busy since we were initially getting ready for the palace..."She said with the same smile.

"Well we still got a good amount of time left so I just wanted to hang out with you for a bit. There's nothing wrong with that right?"He chuckled

"Of coarse not! Just be warned that we're getting crepes soon after we go shopping"she grinned at him.

"Wouldn't have it any other way. We should get going before the rush hour starts."he said gesturing towards the train station.

"Oh right! Don't leave me behind!"she quickly said as the two walked off.

Mishima slowly walked out of the place he was standing. He never really had much courage to talk to Ann again after the whole incident with Shiho. No matter how many times he tried to clear his mind or accept everything that happened with Kamoshida, he can't help but feel that what happened to Shiho was partly if not mostly his fault. He could never forget the look on her face when he told her that Kamoshida wants her in his office. He knew what he was doing, he knew what was gonna happen, and he knew he had the chance to never tell her to begin with and just take the hit for her himself. She is such a sweet girl. Much more deserving of freedom from that bastard than he was. 

He remembered how much Ann blamed herself for what happened to Shiho too. They were best friends, of coarse she would be worried for her and want to help. And she did. Much more than he ever did. The sorrowful look in her eyes everytime she tried to talk to a beatened Shiho, the glassy stares she would sometimes make when she was around Kamoshida, the frustration turned emptiness she had when all those rumors about "Being Kamoshidas girl" kept taunting her around the school. If anything both girls were in a much worse position then he ever was, yet to see Ann go back to her happy, bubbly, yet confidant and determined nature a little while after the incident did make him feel happy for her. Yet deep down he knew that he could never imitate that even if he tried. It's probably another reason why he chose her over him. She was able to recover and blossom into the amazing woman she is today from her past experiences while all he ever did was sulk and run a site that they probably didn't even need all that much.

He mentally slapped himself. What was he saying!? The phan-site is important! It helped a great amount of people that called for help and has changed lives little by little. He's pretty sure if it wasn't Akira wouldn't have been contacting him to begin with!

**Akira wouldn't have been contacting him to begin with**

.....why did he feel off with that phrase? It's probably nothing important, Akira is obviously busy with Ann today so he should just head straight home. 

\--

Mishima has been seeing the rich girl that was his senpai with poofy hair hang around Akira quite a bit. Her name was Haru Okumara if he remembered correctly. He felt bad about the rumors over her father but it's better that whatever is going on between them is settled on their own, or even the phantom thieves if it's getting that bad.

He was simply walking out of school when he saw the two by the flowers she was planting having a conversation. They planted such pretty flowers, and they did it together apparently. It made him smile seeing how Akira even had time to care for the environment with his friends when he's not being the leader of the Phantom Thieves. He saw them bend down into the garden by the yellow carnations. 

"These flowers are really blossoming well Haru, maybe we can make a bouquet of these carnations and use it as a gift"he smiled at the thought of it.

Although he was surprised along with Mishima when Haru shook her head"While the idea is thoughtful Akira you should know not to make a bouquet entirely of yellow carnations. "she stated in a matter of fact manner even with her eyes emanating their usual softness.

Huh? Why would it be a bad idea? These flowers are very beautiful, I don't see how they would be a bad thing."he blinked turning to her.

"Well that's because of the meaning they hold. You see, on their own yellow carnations actually mean rejection or disappointment. It's why when you see yellow carnations they have all the other colors mixed in with them. If you were to give them to someone and they knew what they meant, well lets just say it would make things awkward."she giggled.

Rejection and disappointment....he felt those words ringing into his ears for some reason. He was initially gonna walk out of the school grounds but he did become more curious as to what they're talking about. As long as he doesn't get caught and doesn't hear anything to personal he should be fine right? Against his better judgement he strategically placed himself at a proper distance leaning against the wall in a casual manner and pulled out his phone just in case they look his way.

He looked back briefly and saw Akira laugh with her" Yeah I guess you're right, it's strange, I didn't think there would really be any flowers with negative meanings like that, do you really know the meanings of almost every flower?"he asked with such a peaked curiosity that Mishima himself has never witnessed before.

"While I can't say I know the meaning of every flower I do know a good amount of them. But the ones with negative meanings always stood out to me more since they seem to have a kind of uniqueness about them."she says with a wistful look.

"Oh? Like which ones exactly?"

"Well I can tell you about the ones I know from the top of my head."She chirped out" The purple hyacinth means sorrow but at the same time can also be forgiveness, the anemone means forsaken or forgotten love and affection but also can be used as protection against evil or ill wishes, the petunia means anger and resentment, and the aconite means hatred and to "Be cautious"."

"Wow you really know your stuff, I'll keep in mind not to gift those kinds of flowers to people I care about."he said scratching the back of his head.

"And lastly, there's the most famous one and yet what I think is the most alluring of them all, the black rose. Which has always been known to symbolize death. It's amazing how such beautiful things can mean something entirely different."she finished

"Yeah it really is, but I learned something new today so that's a plus."He smiled

The two kept gardening with more casual banter. Mishima took this as his cue to leave. Haru really was such a sweet and gentle soul, hanging around someone like her must be amazing, Akira definitely has seen it himself if he even goes out to plant flowers with her. It must be nice being surrounded by beauty and kindness...

\--

Mishima never knew how he felt about the student council president Makoto Nijima-senpai. While she did ignore everything that was going on with Kamoshida, it's not like he blamed her for it. She wasn't able to do much about it to begin with. So he never had any kind of grudge against her, but also never really got to know her either. She's always busy trying to excel in school and trying to help the student body after the Kamoshida incident. He has no right to bother her with anything he is doing. But at the moment he needed to head to the student council office to pick up something for Kawakami. 

Although he was kinda surprised,<s> but at the same time not really</s>to see her talking with Akira outside of the student council room. By the looks of it they seemed to be having a light conversation.

"Akira do you think I'm doing a good job with helping the student body?"she asks concerned.

"Makoto of coarse you are, what would make you think otherwise?"he responded with a quirked eyebrow.

"It's just...I hear what some people have said. That I turn my back against anyone that needs help like all the other teachers and adults do. That I do whatever I'm told just to get a letter of recommendation. Initially I just wanted to assert how wrong they are, but now I wonder if I'm only doing this for my own selfish needs rather than those who actually need help."she sighed

Mishima retracted a little, this conversation definitely sounded personal and he should probably leave and come back later. But for some reason...his body wouldn't move, it stayed exactly where it was listening in no matter how much he tried to will himself not to. He internally sighed to himself, if his body was gonna make him do this then he would have to remind himself to apologize to both Akira and Nijima-senpai another time. He hopes she's as forgiving as Akira is with all of his shortcomings.

He sees Akira put his hands on her shoulders and spoke in his usual leader like tone "Makoto you are helping people. Not only as a student council president but also as a you-know-what"he phrased keeping note that they're in the hallway" You're not the same person who would just let adults walk all over her for her recommendations and not do anything for those clearly in need anymore. You have changed for the better and you are a great help. After all you were the one to initiate the hunt on Kaneshiro because he was using the students. He wouldn't be behind bars and his "workers" wouldn't be free of danger from him anymore if it wasn't for you, so give yourself more credit. And who cares if you want to be a little selfish and prove those that assumed things about you wrong? It doesn't hurt to show off a little, just as long as you don't let it get out of hand. So cheer up alright?

Makoto couldn't help but laugh a little at the pep talk Akira just gave her "Alright alright I get it. You must really know your way with words Akira. Lets get going though, the others are waiting for us at the hideout"she smiled.

He watched the two walk away as he stepped out a little. He folded his hands close to his chest in contemplation. Nijima-senpai really does work her hardest to make others happy and safe in the student body. With how smart, complex, and well put together she can be he couldn't help but feel an immense amount of respect and slight admiration for her. Akira and her practically complement each other with her steady mind and his trickster like persona, he wonders what conversations those two can come up with for each other.<s>not like he'll ever be as smart as her to understand it</s>

Oh right, he forgot to get the papers for Kawakami...

\--

He sometimes wonder if fate sees him as their own personal toy.

Mishima decided it was finally time that he talked to Akira. It's been about a month since he last got to hang out or even talk to him. It's almost as if every time he thinks he's found a opening for Akira to spend time with him he always seems to be busy with someone else willingly or not<s>but lets be honest Akira would always willingly not spend time with him</s>. 

He headed towards the train station for his usual trip to Shujin. Akira would have to be there, he even went a little earlier to make sure he encountered him, while yes he feels a little more tired and oddly drained, he needs to talk to him now. It may have not been long for Akira but it was definitely to long for him. 

He perked up seeing Akira in the distance "Hey Akira can we tal-" but he froze seeing that he was already talking to someone else. He quickly quieted himself down and walked a little closer, and lo and behold it was none other than the detective prince himself Akechi. Mishima didn't exactly know how to feel about this, Akira really did know everyone from the looks of it. He honestly didn't know what to do right now, I mean he did want to talk to Akira about the whole separation for a month thing but at the same time he didn't want to interrupt there conversation. With someone as famous and well respected as Akechi no less. He must've had much more important matters than his own personal selfish needs. 

Mishima did end up realizing that they haven't noticed him at all even though he wasn't that far away from them, it must've been from the crowd walking around him to get to their proper trains. It was almost like a cover out in the open, he kept looking at them and ended up slowly picking up the conversation they were having.

"I must say things have been getting pretty hectic lately with the news of the Phantom Thieves spreading around, what do you think of them?"he hummed with his usual charming smile to Akira. Mishima sometimes wishes he can be as amazing as Akechi.

"I never really follow them that much, it tends to be a hassle."Akira coolly responded. Mishima let out a small smile, Akira was breezing through the comment about the Phantom Thieves with such ease, he really is as suave as he appears.

"Ah I should expect an answer like that by now, you never really followed the crowd"Akechi lightly chuckled with a hand to his lips in a dignified manner before setting it down to his side once more"but anyways I will meet up with the rest of the group in the usual place and time correct?"he questioned.

"Yeah, we're gonna check out the palace to see what it's like so don't be late"he nodded.

"Of coarse, wouldn't dream of it. I'll see you later then."With a goodbye wave Akechi casually left with his usual poise and even pace. Akira the proceeded to go on his phone to check for any messages before the train arrives. 

Mishima finally snapped himself out of it noting that Akira was finally alone and he can talk to him now. He quickly went over to him not wasting a moment of time "Hey Akira good to see you!"he said bringing out his more upbeat attitude.

"Oh Mishima I didn't think I'd see you."he stated slightly surprised.

"That's okay"he said<s> it's not like you ever wanted to</s>"hey were you just talking to Akechi?"

"Yeah"he replied simply with his default face. Ah, there's the short and curt responses with minimal emotion he's use to seeing.

"Oh that's cool, by the way I'm still searching through the phansite for some decent targets. So far it's a bunch of spam and people mostly complaining rather than asking for help but I might have found one that I'll look into later. I'll text you it later when I got enough info."

"Alright."he nodded.

"....hey Akira. You think we might be able to hang out and talk for a bit? I feel like it's been awhile since we last talked."he said with a soft smile.

"Has it? I didn't notice."he blinked slightly surprised.

_ so I was right, he didn't think it was long enough_ he thought trying to force back any kind of emotions he knows is ridiculous to have in the first place."Yeah it has, so you wanna hang out?"he asked once more.

"I can't today we're meeting up to go to the palace. Maybe next time."he shrugged.

"O-Oh okay. Just, promise that you'll contact me the next time you're available okay?"

"I'll try"

"_good enough!_"he thought "Alright then I'll be waiting. By the way, what are you doing on your phone?"he asked

"Oh just checking my messages to see if I missed anyones texts."He replied nonchalantly 

When Mishima heard that he couldn't help but take a small peek at the conversations Akira had. It's not like he was being private about it, he held his phone pretty low. Around his lower torso to be specific. He could only pick up what a few of the text messages here and there said but he noticed that Akira responded not only a lot more but positively to his other friends.

**your conversations seem pretty one-sided if you ask me**

He barely managed to keep himself from shaking his head, why did that phrase pop up now of all times? He quickly went to address Akira again before he can think about it"Well our train is here, we should get going."he said with a shaky smile.

Right."the moment he finished uttering that word he already started heading towards the train not checking if Mishima was keeping up which he quickly tried to.

\--

Mishima sighs walking around Shibuya. He just texted Akira if he was alright after their trip to the palace, if he remembered that's what they're called. He still hasn't responded yet and he hoped that he at least read the text. He's been spending the day walking for quite awhile and it only made him more anxious. Maybe it was best he headed home.

He perked up hearing a ping from his phone and quickly took it out. He lit up seeing that he did respond to his text! He sighs relieved knowing that he doesn't have to be anxiously waiting anymore and quickly opened up their conversation. Although when he read the text he ended up feeling those conflicting emotions again.

"_I'm fine but a little tired, so I'm going to sleep now._"

At least he responded this time, as for the actual text...well...at least it's nothing that was shooting him down. He was just tired and getting some rest. Perfectly fine and reasonable. He should probably start heading home, he thinks he's been out long enough today.

An hour had already passed by the time he got to the train station entrance, he didn't notice he even went that far out. He must have really been out of it if he walked around for that long.

He turned the corner and he saw something he'll soon realized he wished he never saw.

Akira was there, hanging out with all of his friends walking down the street opposite of him. All of them were smiling, laughing, and just having fun. He even let out a smile of his own enjoying their humor. He saw Ryuji talking animatedly with Ann, Futaba seemingly having a debate with Yusuke about something, Haru and Makoto having a idle chat with one another and Akechi right beside Akira watching the others along with him having a smile of his own. Even with his pet cat inside his bag. 

Something inside him felt like it was tearing apart. As if his insides were made of glass and it suddenly started to have a large crack on it. Why was he feeling this? Why did seeing all of them make him want to cry, scream and throw up all at once? He looked down at his hands and realized his hands were shaking uncontrollably. He felt his breathing quicken and his mind racing with so many thoughts that he was practically getting a headache from it. 

He quickly turned and ran as fast as he could. Away from Ryuji, away from Ann, away from Futaba, Yusuke, Makoto, Haru, Akechi...

Away from Akira.

When he somehow managed to run back to his home and into his room he suddenly felt the adrenaline from, well, everything start to die down as he collapsed to his knees and huddled himself against the wall. He started to feel it, it was all crashing down on him in a endless wave of despair and betrayal one after the other. Why is he feeling all of this?

**friend might be a bit much**

What is all of this? It hurts...

**This overwhelmingly forgettable appearance, generic speech style, and total lack of sex appeal**

Why won't these thoughts leave him alone!?

** I wasn't that busy today**

His head feels like it's about to explode!

**your conversations seem pretty one-sided...**

Then it all suddenly stopped. That phrase....maybe now...

He took out his phone and looked at his conversations with Akira. He closed his eyes remembering how different they were to his conversations with everyone else on his phone. Then, as if he suddenly had an epiphany, he shot his eyes open and now understood what she meant. It all made sense now, how could he have not realized it sooner? He looked at his phone again. Yes....they were very one-sided....then another sentence appeared in his head...one that he has been making so many excuses for and denying for as long as he possibly could....

**Did....did Akira ditch him?**

Now he finally had no choice but to face the answer. If the whole scene with all of his friends wasn't enough of a smack to the face, than nothing was.

Yes, he did ditch him. Akira ditched him the entire time.

And now, he knew how Akir-..Kurusu-kun, truly felt about him. They were never friends and were never suppose to hang out with each other outside of anything related to the Phansite. And if he did, it was because he had no choice. He only tolerated his presence at best. He was such an idiot. He should've taken the hint with how their text logs looked and his passive attitude towards him. He only talks to him for the Phansite and nothing else.

He wasn't worth talking to...and that was the horrible truth.

As he slowly went to bed and passed out from the mental roller coaster he had for what felt like an eternity, there was a figure that looked just like him deep inside mementos. Their piercing yellow eyes with ink black tears and low chuckle was all to be seen and heard before it glowed a strong aura. A cyclone of darkness enveloped them and only grew bigger from there.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys enjoyed chapter 2 enough! I tried my best to squeeze everyone in so I hope it doesn't seem to cluttered or anything like that. For anyone wondering about Futaba, she already had a scene in the first chapter so I didn't feel that it was necessary to give her another one. But anyhow, let me here your thoughts on the two chapters or even just this one. It would be interesting to hear what you guys have to say. As for the next chapter I already have an idea of where to take it. So keep on the look out for that! Although once more I don't know how soon of an update it will be but it'll happen. I'm just glad it's looking alright so far. Till the next chapter!


	3. His Thoughts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> While Mishima mulls over everything that has happened, Akira has his own concerns...

Akira didn't notice how busy he has gotten lately. 

After fixing the whole incident with Mishima he had to start prepping for Sais palace. He knew how tough it was for Makoto to find out about it, but it'll make things much easier once they steal her heart. They still have to do the meet up at the hideout to check out the place to begin with.

He pulled out his phone to see who is currently texting him, he sees the chat messaging about the hideout, Ryuji wanting to hang out after they check out the palace, and one from Mishima asking if he wanted to hang out. Well getting to the hideout was first and foremost, as for Mishima...

Well he already hung out with him quite recently with the whole Shadow incident, and he seemed to be doing a lot better, so for now he can wait. Maybe another time when he has nothing better to do.

He put his phone away after texting the chat that he's heading over and went to the train station. Now was the time to be the infamous phantom thief Joker.

It was already the next day when Ryuji wanted to do some track with him. Of coarse he didn't mind going with him since it actually was really good exercise, but he recently realized he hasn't really hung out with him so much ever since they've been recruiting more people into their team. He felt like there runs were well overdue. Although he did remember getting a text from Mishima today but he hadn't really read it since he already knew he was gonna commit to Ryuji when he saw his message first about spending time with him. It was probably another request from the Phansite anyways. While it was a great use of his time, he couldn't help but feel like they were being watched when they got back from there run. 

It was probably nothing anyways, they were in the school courtyard so it was probably just some random students noticing them coming back and then going back to whatever they were doing. Besides, he still had some other things to do that night. So worrying about something so simple was really not worth his time.

Ever since his hang out with Ryuji he's realized how many friends he had need to deepen his bond with. He's been focusing so much on improving himself, doing his jobs, and just being a phantom thief in general that he hasn't really hung out with all of them individually to much. It wouldn't hurt to check up on them to see how they've been doing.

He perked up seeing another message from Mishima. Before he can go ahead and read it Ann was already grabbing his wrist and dragging him off to the crepe stand. He would never know that he had completely forgot about the text until there was no point in responding...

\--

Akira hasn't really been keeping track of his time. He's more worried about what he should be doing each and every second he has available since you have to make it count after all. Although one thing he could say is that he did enjoy himself. It was always nice experiencing how quirky Yusuke is, or the excitement of Ryuji, the playfulness that was Ann, the kindness of Haru, passion of Makoto, the geekiness of Futaba, and even the calm relaxing aura that was Akechi. Each and everyone of them had something so unique about them that always makes him happy to stick around with the time he has.

There were times where Mishima had texted him about something but he never really got around to responding to them, last time he checked he was doing great when he conquered his shadow by himself, Akira was just relieved he didn't have to deal with that anymore. He's certain taking a break from hanging out with Mishima wouldn't do to much harm. He has other things to worry about anyways.

There was a day where they finished checking out Sae's palace and began formulating a plan on how to infiltrate it. Frankly, it took a pretty good amount of stamina out of him. So in latent terms, he was pretty fucking tired. So yeah, it did take him a few minutes to realize he got a text. At this point he wasn't really surprised when he found out it was from Mishima again. Honestly, he felt that he was getting a little clingy lately, and he doesn't really know why. 

Of coarse he was asking if they can hang out, nothing new. It's almost as if he's been much more pushy with spending time with him rather than sticking to the phansite like he usually is. Did he get the wrong impression when they had that talk in the park? No no of coarse not, he stated himself that he would work much harder on the phansite with new motivation and energy then ever before. What happened to that?

Well right now it doesn't matter. He's to tired for this shit and he can deal with Mishimas sudden clinginess in the morning where he's a lot more level-headed. He'll probably meet up with him again at some point since he's so insistent on it. He's pretty sure it hasn't really been THAT long since he last spoke to him but whatever it takes to calm the little admins nerves he guesses.

He perked up seeing he got another text, but it was from the group chat this time. He looked into the chat feed and was slightly surprised to find out that the rest of the group still wanted to hang out for the night. Apparently since they didn't fight much shadows today they were thinking of going out to get some more supplies together rather than have him do it by himself this time. He smiled a bit, it was rather sweet of them to try and ease the burden he has as leader, but he really was shocked with all their sudden burst of energy, low amount of shadows or not. 

He felt his exhaustion hit him again. Right, he was initially intending to go home and pass out on his bed so fast Morgana would've been proud. Speaking of Morgana he still hasn't come back from when he decided to talk with Haru about something. He guesses he'll just come with her at the meet up, but he's still not sure if he should be going to begin with. Although he doesn't want to disappoint them...

Then he perked up remembering something. He can just call up Kawakami! If he remembers correctly she's working today and her massages do wonders for him. It makes him feel a lot more refreshed and energized so he's able to go out at night some more. He'll just call from the landline when he gets to the cafe.

Well he knows one thing, bless Kawakami and her services, since he was so glad he went out with all of his friends. What was initially a group task to prep for Saes palace turned into a pretty fun night out. They all agreed to stop by a ramen shop for dinner as he took in everything around him. Ryuji and Ann were having a fun looking conversation about which is the better dessert on the menu in the ramen shop they were heading to, Futaba debating with Yusuke about the figurines in her room and whether Yusukes version looked better or not, Haru and Makoto talking about the new flowers Haru planted in the school garden, and Akechi walking right beside him in a comfortable silence watching everyone enjoy themselves just like him. Even Morgana looked to be having fun as he laid on his shoulder initially watching like him and Akechi but soon talking animatedly just like the others.

At some point when they were almost at the shop he heard a sound. He almost felt like somebody was watching them. Blame his sneaking around in palaces as Phantom Thieves but his senses were always more attuned when it comes to detecting other people, especially with his third eye ability. Although this presence didn't really feel like a threat, more so harmless actually. He quickly turned to the direction he felt the presence and blinked seeing the tail end of a shirt disappearing behind the corner.

So someone was there....but considering that it gave off a non-threatening aura, he probably shouldn't worry about it to much. Besides, his friends are top priority right now. He kept up with them at an even paste as if nothing happened until Akechi turned to him.

"Akira may I ask if you're alright? You kinda froze for a second there."

He shook his head and smiled"Don't worry it was nothing, now lets get some ramen."

\--

Lets just get one thing set straight, Mishima feels like shit.

Ever since he has realized Akira ditched him, he's been feeling such a swirl of emotions. When he initially finished his minorkindofsortofprobablynotbutprobablyis meltdown he figured the best coarse of action soon after was for some rest. Since he did essentially burnt all of his energy from all the mental fighting he did. By the time it was morning, he felt like he didn't get a wink of sleep. It was as if his body just...stopped trying. 

Regardless it was still a school day so he knew he had to get up at some point, preferably sooner rather than later if he was gonna catch the train. He'd just have to make sure it's at a different time from Akir-Kurusu-kun or at the very least be in as far of a train cart from him as possible. He knows how perspective he can be, the moment he finds out that he's avoiding him he'll start hunting him down to get to the bottom of it. Not out of concern but because it would mean the phansite would be in jeopardy with lack of communication he bitterly thought. But he's still gonna keep his promise with maintaining the phansite. Just because he realized he was worthless and a mere acquaintance at best to Kurusu-kun doesn't mean the cries for help from the site will be ignored. They need him- No. No. He almost started thinking like back when he had a shadow, and he is going to avoid that with every power in his pathetic being. They didn't need him. They needed the Phantom Thieves. They weren't asking for his help(**since you can't do shit by yourself**) they were asking for them. He was just the messenger boy and that is all. Nothing more nothing less...well maybe a little less considering it was himself he was talking about but he rather avoid going down that rabbit hole (**again**)

He shook his head trying to somewhat clear his mind and quickly went downstairs when he finished getting ready. He sighs realizing that his parents didn't have any breakfast leftovers and was already gone for work. Looks like he's gonna have to make breakfast for himself once again. But he didn't really feel that hungry. It was probably from all the exertion his body and mind went through recently. Though he knew he had to eat something or risk feeling even more weak throughout the day (**you're already weak and pathetic enough as is**). Not to mention this headache he's been trying to ignore or pass off as a dizzy spell from waking up just won't go away. It's almost as if his own mind, his own heart, is working against him...wait.

Why did he phrase it like that?

It's official, he's eating something so his damn body stops fucking with him. He quickly made some toast, put butter on said toast, ate it, gulped down a glass of orange juice, and ran out the door right after grabbing a granola bar and scarfing it down as he went over to the train station. He sighs in relief seeing he was on time but froze once more seeing Kurusu-kun in the distance. He inwardly groans, he was trying to avoid him dammit! Someone as much of a mess as he is shouldn't be in the presence of someone as amazing and confidant as him. Looks like he'll just have to go into another cart.

When he finally sat down for class and everything, he made sure to keep his head low and even pulled out his phone for good measure. He internally froze rigid when he saw Kurusu-kun enter the classroom through his peripherals. As usual he casually walked right past him not sparing a second glance and sat down on his desk. Which made Ann turn and talk to him for a bit before class started. Kurusu-kun never did really greet him in the morning, only times he did was for something related to the phansite. ** He has no other reason for talking to someone as pathetic as him.**

Kawakami soon came in and started class as everyone went to their seats. Mishima realized that no matter how hard he tried to focus on the lectures he simply can't follow any of it. Being physically/emotionally weak, incompetent, and annoying is already bad enough. But he refuses to allow "being a dumbass" to be part of that long list of things just because his mind doesn't feel like listening to the damn lecture. His grades are pretty much average and he will not let them slip any lower. Because at this point, he's desperate to be able to do something else somewhat decently besides running the phansite. If he can just get pass the rest of high school without any mishaps with his grades or anything otherwise, he'll be fine <s>who is he kidding he's never fine.</s>

He snapped out of his inner turmoil when the bell rang. He sighs realizing he only listened to basically half of the lecture. Maybe he can gather some more notes later on. When he got up and was ready to head out the door he yelps bumping into a slightly broad chest."Hey Mishima we managed to complete the requests you gave us, did anymore come in?"

Mishima froze on the spot recognizing the voice, how could he not? It's the voice that always haunted his thoughts and even his dreams. He quickly snapped out of it finally processing Kurusu-kuns question. "Oh uh, nope sorry no note worthy requests were made yet but I-I'll text you when I do find some!"he muttered quickly trying his best to escape this conversation.

"You alright Mishima? You seem a little jumpy."he blinks 

"Nonono I'm perfectly fine!"**liar**"No need to worry about me or anything Kurusu-kun!"**he doesn't care about you he cares about the Phansite."**I'm doing my very best for the requests I promise!"he squeaked.**if you can't even serve him than you're nothing.**"B-bye!"he quickly left.

"....Kurusu-kun?" 

\-- 

Akira to say the least was baffled by the interaction he just had with Mishima. He recently completed the requests for the phansite and simply wanted to ask Mishima if he had some more to give them. But not only did he seem really jumpy, he looked drained and started stuttering. Although the biggest thing that stood out to him, was the fact that he called him "Kurusu-kun". He went back to using formalities for no reason. 

He sighs, maybe he was just having a bad day or simply didn't get enough sleep and wasn't thinking straight. He does have a tendency to stay up late to tend to the phansite. After all the shift he just did was pretty sudden. Akira just couldn't help but not like it. It was almost like how he was when he first met him..when Kamoshida was still around. 

Akira immediately got rid of the thought. No. Kamoshida is gone and behind bars where he belongs. He can't hurt anyone anymore. Everyone is recovering and much happier. This is just a one time thing for Mishima and he was simply over thinking things. 

Right...? 

\--

Mishima still felt his nerves going on overdrive after interacting with Kurusu-kun. He was just glad that he didn't screw it up as badly as he would have. But that interaction did remind him of something very important. He has to work on the phansite! He can't believe he was so muddled up with his own dumb thoughts that he started slacking off! He had one job! ONE. JOB. And he was fucking blowing it! 

He was quick to leave the school and head straight home. He was about to shout his arrival home to his parents but then he remembered that they wouldn't be here. Besides it's not like they would respond back anyways so it defeats the point. Mishima tries to stretch a little kicking off his shoes by the mat and heading upstairs into his room closing the door behind him.

Alright, now it was time to get to work. No more excuses, no more distractions, and no more going out. He will do what he is meant to do and take good care of the phansite even if it means stretching himself thin to deliver these requests.**Even if it means devoting his entire mind, body, and soul. Anything to please societies saviors the Phantom Thieves.**

He gasps quickly clutching his head hearing those thoughts again. What was that!? Why was it so...vivid..this time. Although, fully processing what it said, his eyes widened a bit in shock. These thoughts are so strong, and it almost sounded like it's own entity. He couldn't really call it a thought, but more so a voice. He didn't know when this started happening, but he couldn't help but feel...relieved hearing it. While it was intense, it was almost soothing to him. As if it was guiding him on what he should be doing with his minuscule existence. Yes, he will listen to this voice. This amazing, helpful, intellectual voice. And he just knows that maybe one day it'll lead him to fulfillment, he just knows it!

Mishima quickly snaps out of it. Right now that voice was telling him to get to work, and get to work he will. He quickly began typing away and clearing out the spam on the phansite. No way is he gonna screw up this time around!

Once more, deep within a subconscious, we see a figure in front of an altar of some kind. It heard the bell ring signaling what it must do at that very hour. It slowly collapses to their knees before taking the position of a prayer. They never uttered a single word, they couldn't utter a single word. All they did was sit there in silence as it's gaping wounds left puddles of blood and inky black ooze on the floor that they knew to clean later.

They stayed this way for the rest of the night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like I left this off at a good note. If you guys have any thoughts or opinions don't be afraid to comment! Mishima has a lot of things in his mind right now and Akira doesn't really know what to make of it. Till next time!


	4. Awareness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Akira begins to understand what's really going on, but he's not sure if he can face it.

Akira started walking into the gates of Shujin as he sighs to himself. The Phantom Thieves managed to secure a route in Saes palace in a surprisingly record time. Despite how complicated and tough it got at a few parts they were able to get the route done in three days. While it was always important to get things done as soon as possible, they still had basically a little over a month till they would reach the due date. So not only does it mean they have ample breathing room to set up supplies, replenish energy, and think their plan/what they're gonna say in the calling card much more carefully, but they could tackle the treasure at any time before then. The group was in a great ideal situation and don't have to rush to hard like they had to do in some of the other palaces. Besides, it's better for Makoto, it gives her more time to take everything in and ease her mind over the fact that her own sister has a palace, and she would have to defeat her too. But right now, Akira has something more important to worry about with this sudden free time in his hand. 

Mishima.

He hates to admit it, but that skittish behavior and worn out look Mishima has been sporting wasn't a phase. When he decided to leave Mishima be for a few more weeks, he didn't snap out of it one bit. In fact, he may have seemed even worse the few times he saw him. When he mentioned this to Morgana he didn't really seem to bothered by it but he has admitted that he has seen better days. 

If he was being honest with himself, he was even tempted to go into the group chat about it to see if they've noticed it to or is he just simply being paranoid. But he was quick to dismiss it. Up until now Mishima didn't seem to have done anything to alarming, so he shouldn't be bothering everybody else about it when it really could be just a small thing. Maybe his new determination for the phansite made him stay up even longer at night, maybe he just had a run in with one of his old bullies and just got a little more tense from it, hell, maybe he's still relapsing from everything that happened with Kamoshida. 

Akira made up his mind, he'll decide to hold off on talking to Mishima until he knows for a fact that he's doing something very alarming. Otherwise, he'll just leave everything be and just basically contact him for the phansite or other news about the Phantom Thieves just how it usually is. For everyones sake, especially Mishimas, he's hoping he's overreacting to this.

\--

Turns out it was a much bigger struggle to avoid Kurusu then he thought it would be. How is it the few times he is actively trying to avoid him he seems to appear around every corner a lot more? Maybe it's just his imagination since he's been trying to be more aware of his surroundings. He couldn't help but feel like Kurusu was looking back at him more than usual. Normally, every time he passes by him or is in the same room, he doesn't even look at him or give him a second thought. Now he notices that he quickly looks away from him even more the moment he turns his head his direction. This didn't happen once but multiple times. Was Kurusu watching him? 

**You probably did something wrong again. Why else would he even spare you a second glance?**

He jumped a little in his spot, right, he sometimes forget the voice is still there. He thought about what it said to him, and he froze in horror. Did he somehow do something wrong without even realizing it? But how could that be!? He gives him the usual texts about the requests(with no commentary/opinion unless provoked), he dedicated even more time to the phansite basically spending all of his time at home to do it, and even went the extra mile of not being in his presence so he wouldn't disturb him. What could he possibly be doing wrong this time!? What else can he even do that'll satisfy him!? He doesn't understand what else he can possibly do!!!

**Maybe you're just not good enough**

Mishima took a sharp inhale when he heard those words. It took all the energy and willpower he had to keep standing on his own two feet. Could it be true...? Is he just running himself ragged for no reason...? Will he...never be able to satisfy Kurusu...?

He mentally slapped himself. What is he thinking!? He still can be useful! He's just simply not trying hard enough! Mishima would prefer to avoid asking Kurusu himself what else he can do to satisfy him since, well, he's not worth his time for such a silly question. He's just gonna have to figure it out himself! Maybe he can work up a schedule where he'll simply do all his classwork and homework at school so he can focus on nothing but the phansite the moment he gets home. He has already stayed up later than usual for awhile now but maybe staying up even later wouldn't hurt!

With another burst of determination he headed for the library to do the last of his classwork and homework the moment the final bell rang. If he hurries enough he can get one of the cubicles and should take no more than two hours to get all his work done for the day. Maybe if he gets lucky he can finish it in a hour and a half and use the spare time to treat himself to a curry bun he saw in the school shop and that could be his dinner!

**Treat yourself? You've barely done your job! You will only treat yourself when Kurusu allows it!**

Mishima sighs at the voice. While the voice has guided him to the right path, it can also sound pretty aggressive sometimes. But it did have a point. He shouldn't even be thinking of treating himself until Kurusu is satisfied with his work! Right now he needs to focus, and standing around like a idiot is not helping anything! Although it might be a good idea to quickly check the phansite to see what he needs to do for tonight. 

On his way to the library he briefly took out his phone to see what his work load is. But when he quickly turns a corner he almost squeaks bumping into someone and landing right on his butt. Dammit, maybe it wasn't a good idea to speed walk and look at his phone at the same time. "I-I'm sorry I wasn't p-paying attention to w-where I was-" he tried to say getting up but barely held back a gasp seeing who it was.

Of coarse, it had to be none other than Kurusu. Because who else could he have possibly bumped into? He looked at him and held his hand out waiting for Mishima to take it."You alright Mishima? You were going a little fast there."he asked with his normal stoic face.

"N-no no I'm perfectly fine!"He yelped out as he felt his nerves get the better him. Why was he so nervous around Kurusu all of a sudden? He was able to talk to him just fine before, what's different now? It wasn't his instincts telling him that Kurusu knows he's been avoiding him. Right? Right!? He couldn't have found out, he never pays attention to him to begin with! Why does his hands feel clammy? Was he sweating? Oh god he was sweating this is humiliating whatifhethinkshe'sdigusting-!?

"Mishima!"

He jumps a bit "Y-yes?"

"Are you sure you're fine? You look a little sick. And also I'm still trying to help you up."he said with a slight deadpanned tone at the end.

"Oh sorry sorry I j-just spaced out a-a bit!" he quickly excused before finally taking his hand and getting up. Mishima couldn't help but feel a slight warmth to Kurusu's hand. It felt...kinda nice. Almost like getting a taste of the morning sun after being in the dark for so long.

Although that feeling instantly shattered the moment Akira wiped the same hand he used to help him up on his school pants before muttering "Ugh. Sweaty." in a almost grossed out manner.

**Disgusting.**

He knew his anxiousness made him sweat a little bit but was it really that bad?

**You're to filthy and pathetic to even be touched by him.**

It's back again, he's starting to get frustrated with the fact that it's pointing out his shortcomings but at the same time it was always right. If he didn't think Kurusu just barely tolerates him before, he definitely does now. He's disturbed by the thought of even touching him! Almost like a highly praised king being forced to touch a lowly filthy peasant. He needs to keep distance. He doesn't want to be a even bigger burden on Kurusu then he already is. How is he gonna talk his way out of this? He's never good at talking to begin with. What if he-

"Mishima snap out of it!"Kurusu groans

"Y-yes!?"he squeaked almost fearfully. Great, now he pissed him off.

He sighed"Look, I was gonna ask if you wanna join me and the others to the rooftop for lunch" 

"M-me? But why now all of a sudden?"

\--

Akira couldn't help but feel a little frustrated with Mishimas jumpiness. Oddly enough he somehow managed to work up his nerves so much that he started sweating, something he was not happy to get a hand full of by the way, and now he spaced out again. He hates to face it, but something is definitely wrong with Mishima. He doesn't know what it is but he's gonna get to the bottom of it. He was initially gonna have him eat with the group to see if they react to him, but at this point he's so obvious that he doesn't even need to test whether or not it's just his imagination. Of coarse since Akira's got his answer he no longer needs to invite him for lunch. But honestly, he had a small fear that something would happen if he left him by himself. So he guesses that it might be better to just have him come along anyway. He wasn't ready for what Mishima said next out of nowhere.(in his opinion)

"M-me? But why now all of a sudden?"

Akira didn't know what to think about that statement. Why would he be suspicious and wary about having lunch with hi? Then it hit him. He never ate lunch with Mishima at school. Alright that was a huge oversight on his part. Now that he thinks about it he only really hangs out with Mishima to get info on targets and the phansite 90% of the time. The remaining bit is simply those times he's bumped into him or Mishima insisting on hanging out. This realization made him inwardly tense out of guilt. He retracts his thought about not needing to ask him to lunch. Now, he's making it mandatory. If not for Mishimas sake but also to mend his fuck up on never initiating a hang out himself. Granted he can be annoying and clingy but he was still a good person, despite his brief fame hungry phase. But judging by how things have been recently, he's WAY past that now. He should probably answer his question quick before he starts looking like a hypocrite. "Well I just wanted to talk about any possible targets you might've found." Alright not the best excuse but he knows he'll buy it.

"A-ah of coarse. But a-aren't we not allowed on the rooftop?"he questioned with a concerned look in his eyes.

"Come on Mishima live a little, besides we haven't gotten caught yet right?"Akira grinned quickly returning to his smooth talking.

"Y-you do have a point. A-alright then!"he chirped out before Akira turned and walked away with Mishima taking it as his cue to follow.

\--

When Akira opened the door to the rooftop Mishima still felt surprised seeing everyone up there waiting for them.("Well more so Kurusu definitely not him"Mishima couldn't help but think).Ann, Makoto, Haru, Ryuji, and surprisingly Akechi. They were only really missing the art student Yusuke and the supposed shut-in Futaba, but that was mostly because he was in another school. Even Morgana was up there sitting in between Ann and Haru with his ears perked ready for whatever conversation they might have. They all turned to the pair with a little look of surprise of their own as Makoto, as always, was the one to stand up straight and address in their eyes to be the not so big elephant in the room-or uh roof in this case."I see you've returned Akira, but I'm pretty sure we'd all like to know why is Mishima with you?"

Nobody noticed how Mishima subtly flinch at the question. She wasn't being mean or annoyed when she said it or anything, but he couldn't help but automatically feel even more out of place than he initially thought he was. Like he was intruding on a place he doesn't**and never will**belong in. He should probably leave now before he makes things even worse-

"Oh no I just bumped into him in the hallway and I figured he might as well eat with us and see if he found any new potential targets."Akira abruptly said. Mishima couldn't help but be in a internal frenzy when he even went as far as grabbing his wrist firmly to keep him in place. As if sensing his hesitation and urge to bail out. Luckily the hold didn't hurt but he still made it strong enough where he couldn't shake out of his grip without the others noticing. Mishima was even mildly impressed when he realized that Kurusu managed to do it in a way where the view of his hand is obscured by his body. The group had no clue of what was happening right behind his back. It always reminded him of how amazing he actually is being able to do such swift and covert moves.

"Oh well if that's the case than I guess he can join us"Ann shrugged already eating her snack. 

"I guess you can just look for a seat, there's plenty."Haru suggested.

Mishima couldn't help but pick up on their bored and uninterested tones, great, he was an unpleasant surprise they're stuck with.

Akira ushered him over to sit down beside him on one of the desks when he noticed Mishima was still keeping slight distance from him and everyone else. Granted it's appreciated that he knows personal space but it's like he was trying to make himself as small as possible. He sighs knowing he won't be able to make him budge and just took out his lunch like everyone else. He made sure to sneak a few glances at Mishima to check up on him, and was a little worried that he didn't take out any bento. "Um, Mishima aren't you going to eat?"

"Oh I-I ate this morning so I'm g-good."he hummed

"Uh dude, it's lunch, you should definitely be hungry by now unless the meal was heavy."Ryuji said with a raised eyebrow.

"D-don't worry Sakamoto I assure you it was q-quite heavy."Mishima quickly tried to assure. Last thing he needed was to annoy them further.

"Really? Than do tell us what you ate"Akechi quickly added with his usual plastered on smile.

"A p-piece of toast, granola bar, and a l-little bit or orange juice. U-usually I wouldn't eat so much in the morning but I-I guess I ate more than usual while r-rushing"he sweated a little embarrassed.

"THAT'S a heavy meal for you!?"Ryuji gawked standing a little from his seat"What do you usually eat!?"

"G-granola bars, water, and s-sports drinks are really t-tasty you know."Mishima said sweating even more with his hands shaking making him keep a firmer grip on his bag to calm it.

"Mishima may I ask why you eat so little?"Makoto asked slightly alarmed.

It flew right past his head regardless as he spoke with a more cheerful tone"Oh I'm not going on a diet or anything, I spend that time working on the phansite! Every minute counts you know? And I'm making much more progress than I have before!"he smiled and didn't notice the growing wariness on everyone else faces.

"Don't your parents make lunch for you or anything?"Ann couldn't help but ask.

"Oh no they're always at work and hardly in the house to begin with so I'm practically by myself most of the time."he blew off as if it was the most natural thing."And I don't really cook so well to begin with so it's not like if I made anything for myself it would taste good."

He jumped a little when Akira stood straight, marched right in front of him, took out some food from his bento with his chopsticks, and shoved it into his face"Eat."

"K-Kurusu you don't have to give me anything I-I'm not hungry anywa-"he froze when his stomach made a small rumbling sound"t-that was probably just i-indigestion-"

"Mishima. Eat. NOW."Akira didn't like being forceful with the power he knew he had over Mishima but he's not gonna let him unintentionally starve himself for that damn phansite.

"U-uh..."

**Do as he says.**

Mishima froze hearing it again as he quickly tried to think back"B-but I'm not w-worthy enough to-"

**YOU SERVE HIM. YOU DO WHATEVER HE TELLS YOU TO DO BECAUSE HE'S THE ONLY REASON YOU HAVE ANY WORTH.**

He tried his hardest not to show his cowering before giving in. He guesses he'll just take the food off of Kurusu's chopsticks so his filthy germs wouldn't be on it. With a deep breath he did so earning a few confused looks before eating the food. His eyes widened lighting up from the burst of flavor"T-this is delicious! I-I couldn't possibly have any m-more."

"Sojiros curry is always tasty, and unlike you, I ate a proper meal this morning so I'm not as hungry. You know what that means?"Akira smirked causing Mishima to blush and tense at the same time.

"K-Kurusu it's your food I couldn't possibly-oomph!"he squeaked when he shoved a helping of curry covered rice into his mouth forcing him to swallow it."W-why did you do that? Now the chopsticks are d-dirty..."he sighed disappointed in himself.

"Don't be so dramatic Mishima you're not sick and I will freaking hand feed you if it gets food in your stomach."he threatened.

"What Akira means"Makoto coughed"is that he's trying to make sure you eat so you won't pass out from malnutrition."

"O-Oh I guess that makes s-sense."he said muttering the other part of his sentence under his breath. He didn't see the slightly alarmed look on Akiras face before he spoke up again."Well if that's all then I'll just get some food from the school shop!"he chirped

"Mishima what did you-"

"I'll be back in a few minutes to tell you about what I found, later!"he quickly said before heading back down stairs.

The roof had a brief silence not knowing how to react with Mishima's behavior, but as always Ryuji was the first one to speak up"Why is the little guy acting so weird?"

"Oh thank god it's not just me"Akira sighed in relief"I don't know. Ever since I had that conversation with Mishima after seeing his shadow, he started off perfectly fine. But the more I saw him the more I noticed his derailing. He started looking more pale, tired, skinnier, and has even reverted back to calling me Kurusu. He thinks I haven't noticed but he picked up the habit of avoiding me unless necessary. But the most concerning thing is the way he is talking. I'm not use to hearing him stutter, and he's always shaking or looking terrified about something when I try to talk to him. If not that than he's spacing out. At this rate I'm not sure what to do with him anymore."

"Considering this change I can only think that Mishima is in the beginning stages of something grave. With all the things you've listed off he has to have started picking it up or developing it from somewhere."Akechi commented.

"Hold on guys I don't think Mishima is doing anything that alarming. From what I can tell he just needs a better diet and time off his phone. He's a huge loner type, and from the sound of his parents not being home they probably have no time to help him grow."Ann tried to reason.

"Maybe we should give him time to settle down and simply guide him to make better choices for his health. He might be harming himself now but he's no where near incapable of being saved or even needing emergency care."Haru suggested.

Makoto took this as her chance to speak up once more"All of this behavior is most likely stemming from malnutrition, we'll just have to watch over him for a little bit and everything will be fine. Think of it like babysitting almost."

"Aw man I don't want to babysit a guy the same age as me!"Ryuji groans"but I guess if it's to help Mishima than it won't be to bad."

"Oh by the way Akira, didn't you want to say something to him before he left?"Morgana piped up which made the others stop brainstorming and turn to him. 

When Akira heard the question he tensed, right, the thing Mishima said right before he ran off. He slowly looked at them and sighs"He was muttering under his breath about something. He believes no one heard him but I was just close enough to listen in."

"Well don't keep us in suspense now, what did you hear?"Akechi said with a now completely neutral look on his face.

"When we told him about how he needed to eat more food, we heard him agree with us. But the second part of his response, his _reason_ for being encouraged to do it, it was very troubling. He said...."

"I can't serve my saviors if I'm unconscious."

Everyone froze at what he reiterated. Some even paled at the thought of Mishima believing something like that. All except Akechi who kept his poker face deep down not really caring for a random student he hardly knew. But he did become intrigued over the boy believing so highly of the phantom thieves. He knew if Akira was a more cruel person, he would practically make Mishima his personal servant, and he would be okay with it. But seeing his behavior through the entire time he's gotten to know him, he would never do something like that to him. They would be no better than the corrupted people they change. Not just Akira, but the rest of them. Although that didn't mean Akechi couldn't sate his curiosity.

He snapped out of his train of though when Ryuji slowly took out his phone"Dude....you don't think he has...?"

Before Ryuji could even finish the thought Akira went over to him and smacked his phone down on the table with his hand still on it"NO. I already talked to his shadow, he has already conquered it and changed his mindset, there's no possible way he can still have that damn thing let alone a palace. He is just going through a rough patch, nothing more. "he hissed refusing to hear any objections.

Ryuji held his hands up in defense"Okay okay jeez I was just throwing the idea out there no need to get fussy!"

Morgana tried to defuse the situation"While normally I don't mind you yelling at Ryuji" he heard Ryuji shout Hey! but ignored it "I hate to say that we can't rule out the possibility, we should tread carefully from this point forward. Luckily he isn't a threat or we don't need to worry about a deadline so it's not like there's any pressure."

Akira sighs"You have a point but I still rather fix whatever's wrong with him rather than just leave him like this. I agree with Makotos idea, all of us spending time with him should lift his spirits and give him proper motivation and energy with the right encouragement."

"But would it be a good idea for him to just suddenly be hanging out with just all of us? I feel like going as a group would overwhelm him"Ann worried.

"So you're suggesting we do the same thing as we did with Futaba? That's not a bad idea. It should be easier since he already knows at least most of us and is not a complete shut-in like her case was."Makoto summarized liking the idea so far.

"Not to mention he will do whatever we say even if he's not completely comfortable with it, especially Akira."the others turned to Akechi with a not so happy look on their faces"Is it not true? When Akira offered his food Mishima wasn't willing and tried to have him keep it. It wasn't until Akira ordered him to eat it that he caved in and ate the curry. While it is a little harsh it's a good last resort."

"I hate so say it but he has a point"Haru sighs"this is so he can get better after all, and sometimes when they put up to much resistance you would have to use force, but it's just so they can live a healthy and happier life...."

"Alright than it's settled, we'll all divide into whatever pairs needed to see if we can better Mishima. We'll text the group chat to let Futaba and Yusuke know, for now what will our groups be? Let me just say right now that I don't think it matters if I go or not considering he doesn't understand me"Morgana asked.

"I suggest Me and Ryuji. Someone has to make sure this loud mouth doesn't screw anything up"Ann suggested rolling her eyes at the last part.

"Hey what's your damage!? I'm not gonna screw it up! If anything I'd have to watch you to make sure you don't go runnin off to the first sweets shop you see and leave him by himself!"Ryuji snapped back.

"And I'm gonna come with the both of you because of how loud you two are, you'll scare him off for sure."Makoto stated with no room for discussion. The two sigh but reluctantly agreed grumbling.

"Well if they're one group I'll gladly go with Futaba and Yusuke. They're a bit quirky and can get lost in each others conversations so I could be there to keep him involved."Haru suggested with a chirp.

"If that's the case I'll be with Akira as the last pairing. What do you think?"Akechi said as he walked to Akiras side.

He was in deep thought for a moment before he looked up"If I'm being honest, I feel that I should be with Mishima alone. Yusuke and Akechi should be their own group."

They looked at him surprised with Akechi turning to him"Why do you insist on being alone with him?"

"Because he's the most comfortable around me."it went silent"while he has been more tense and concerning when I spent time with him recently, he won't talk to me as much if there's a third person with us. Maybe if I can talk it out with him enough he'll open up a bit more. Morgana, you're gonna be with me."

"But-"

"Just in case I ever separate from him for any brief moment of time, you make sure he's alright. Besides, I heard petting and holding cats calm people down. So take advantage of your feline form"he smirked as Morgana made a tiny hiss."Any objections?"there was no sound uttered but Akechi couldn't help but be a little miffed. He refused to show it on his face though"Good. Ryuji, Ann, Makoto, you'll be our first group. Haru and Futaba will be second, Yusuke and Akechi third, and Morgana and I last. Let's do this-"

They heard the door open as Mishima walked over to them"I-I'm back!"the group turned to look back at him as he tensed and quickly brought out the food he just bought"C-Curry bun! I got a curry bun! It will keep me good till I get home promise!"he squeaked.

"Mishima."

"Y-yes?"

"Be prepared next week, you're gonna be spending time with all of us through out it."Akira grinned. But they didn't pay attention to Mishimas face paling.

".....W-what?"


	5. Ann, Ryuji, Makoto

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Group 1 starts off first with their shot on trying to better Mishima. Hopefully it goes well.

To say Mishima is still in shock was an understatement. 

He didn't know why the phantom thieves wanted to willingly spend time with him but he's been on edge since they've told him the plan a few days ago. And now here he was, in the underground mall, waiting for apparently Takamaki Sakamoto and Nijima. It made even less sense that they wanted to go in groups but he knows better than to object. It was not in his place to.

He perks up hearing a "Yo!" in the distance as he turned to see said trio walking over to him. Sakamoto waving his hand in the air to make sure he saw him, Mishima smiled knowing he would never have the confidence to do something like that in public. Another thing he could admire about Sakamoto.

Ann and Makoto on the other hand noticed how tense and shaky Mishima looked. Ryuji of coarse wouldn't notice due to his pretty dense and naive nature as he casually slung his arm around him with a grin not paying attention to Mishima jumping a little from the contact"Hey man! Ready to hang?"

"Y-yes!" he squeaked "w-whatever you guys would like..."he had a strained smile on his face.

"Aw come on man we were thinking you'd pick the first place!"

"S-sorry I d-didn't think of that-"

Makoto sighs"It's alright Mishima lets just walk around and work from there."

"Honestly Ryuji way to barge your way into his personal space!"Ann huffed as they started walking.

**You disappointed them. You should be ashamed**

Mishima put his head down not even bothering to come up with a response to those words.

"Why don't we just go window shopping for now. If we comes across anything we can go inside"Makoto suggested.

"Oh great idea Makoto. I hope we pass by a sweets shop to!"Ann cheered.

Ryuji groans"For gods sake Ann you have an unnatural obsession with desserts!"

"It's not just for me idiot!"she said while smacking him upside the head"I wanted to have Mishima try out the seasonal desserts they have!"

"M-me?"he asked surprised.

"Well yeah you're with us for a reason."She chuckles ruffling his hair but quickly retracts it with a slightly displeased look on her face"What the-why is your hair so greasy!?"

Mishima instantly retracted into himself like a child being scolded by their parent"I-I guess I forgot to w-wash my hair recently...." it was probably because he wanted to get out of the shower as quick as possible to work on the phansite and figured just rinsing it would be fine.

"Come on man not only are you out of shape but you don't even keep up with your hygiene? You gotta step it up man!Take better care of yourself."Ryuji sighs

"I-I'm sorry I'm sorry I'll work on it!!"he quickly bows much to the others concern. He wasn't even with them for five minutes and he's already screwing it up.

"Look,how about we go pick up some things for Mishima? Get him started on bettering himself you know."Makoto quickly said trying to snap him out of it.

Mishima shot straight up"N-no please don't waste any money and time on me. You guys s-should be getting things for yourselves instead!

Ann sighs"Mishima I hate to say it but you need this. We can't leave you by yourself without worrying about whether you're taking care of yourself or not. We're doing this for you."

"Yeah man it's aight! We'll have you looking and feeling much better in no time! We can even stop by protein lovers to help give your body more energy!"Ryuji grins"Oh I see a bodyworks store just up ahead! Lets head there first!"

"Count me in!"Ann instantly cheered while Makoto smiled and walked along with the two. Mishima couldn't help but lag behind letting his mind wander.

**Filthy. You're so much of a mess that they have to waste their time and money on YOU.**

He didn't want them to. He doesn't get why they're doing all of this, he's simply not worth the time and effort. It doesn't help that he looked even more gross and disgusting than he initially thought he was now that they pointed it out. He shouldn't be in their presence. Maybe he should try to make an excuse to leave-

**NO, you won't. You WILL obey they're needs and desires because they're the only reason you have a purpose to begin with! Even if it involves spending time with your pathetic self. If they want to give you things to use or make you exercise this weak body, you are going to do it. WHETHER YOU LIKE IT OR NOT.**

"Mishima you coming?"

His breath hitched for a second quickly looking back at them, with Makoto being the one that had spoke up, as they all seemed to be waiting for him. He took it as his cue to pick up the pace.

"Y-yeah yeah coming!"

\--

After going inside the bodyworks store Ann immediately went ahead with Makoto following suit while Ryuji and Mishima hanged out behind them. Ryuji turned to him"All this frilly stuff ain't really our thing, dontcha think?"he grins putting his hands behind his head.

Mishima quickly avoided eye contact"Y-yeah, not much..."

Ryuji frowns putting his hands back to his sides"Dude you need to relax a bit. We're not gonna bite you know."he tried to reassure. 

He stood straight in a almost high pitched voice"R-right right relaxing right now!"

"Uh you're doing the exact opposite of that."he sweatdrops.

"Sorry I-I'll do better!" he turned to him so fast that it startled Ryuji.

"Sheesh you either burst with energy or have none at all!" he sighs" you shouldn't take everything we say to heart Mishima. You're your own person you know?"Ryuji hopes that the message will somehow get to him.

Sadly it didn't seem to as Mishima calmed down but looked away"But the only person that matters is the one that serves you all...."he muttered.

"What was that?"

"N-nothing nothing. We should probably catch up with the girls. They did want to find some products for me to use."he tugged a hair behind his ear nervously.

"Mishima, are you saying that because you want them to, or because they want you to?"Ryuji couldn't help but ask. At this rate he seems like he refuses to give himself free will.

He looks away again"Well I want is to make you guys happy and pleased. So it's fine."

Ryuji silently looked at him. But they both jolted a bit hearing Ann yelling at them"Guys! Keep up! Mishima we found some stuff for you!"

"A-alright let me see."he then turns to Ryuji and mutters"Just don't worry about it okay? We'll head to protein lovers soon, you can tell me to do whatever you need then"he smiled before catching up with the girls. Ryuji couldn't help but sigh in even more concern before following him.

When they caught up they noticed Ann was holding two bottles while Makoto was inspecting one. Ann perked up noticing the boys made it"Oh Mishima! Perfect timing! I just managed to narrow down my shampoo choices for you! You see this one over here not only smells like roses but has more protection and shine while the other one promotes silkiness and volume with a fruity scent!"

"I on the other hand did manage to find one with a lot of natural ingredients and vitamins that even promotes hair growth."Makoto stated before they both gestured the bottle towards him.

If he were being honest, he doesn't like those shampoos with strong scents. He knows that the brands Ann is holding, while good shampoos, is known for said problem. As for Makotos, not only does he not want to risk his hair getting longer( it actually grows pretty fast believe it or not) but he's already picking up a medicine like scent from it which was a huge turn off. He didn't like any of these choices and was about to say so"I um-"

**You DARE go against their words!? Not only are they taking time out of their day to even spend time with your pathetic self, but you have the gall to REJECT their generosity!? You should be grateful they're even here! Let alone trying to fix the giant mess that is yourself!!! You have been given options and you WILL choose!!!**

"Mishima?"

"You were about to say something..."

He snaps out of it and looks at them. He remembers what was happening and quickly collected himself. "Uh y-yeah those are really nice options. Y-you all can go ahead and pick one for m-me."

"Mishima they're asking what YOU want. Not what they want."Ryuji put a hand on his shoulder" Hell if you don't even like any of the options just say the word and we'll let you choose one on your own."

"N-no no they already went through the hassle of p-picking them out for me I might as w-well."he said with a shaky smile before looking at his options. Makotos choice was definitely out with the whole hair growth thing, so that leaves the rose or fruit scented. While he didn't really like either of them he can't go against them. He hesitantly grabbed the rose one, at least flower scents might be a little less stronger than fruity scents"I-I guess this one?"

"Great! Lets go look around some more before we pay for it."Ann smiled before grabbing his hand and pulling him deeper into the store as he yelps.

They went around the store for another hour much to Mishimas dismay and Ryujis annoyance before the girls were satisfied. Ann even went the extra mile of recommending some products for his skin and face.

"Since pale skin like yours will be practically glowing and smooth looking with just a bit of effort!"she reasoned.

**In other words, you're so hideously pale and filthy looking that they need to salvage any looks you could ever have."**

He honestly didn't think he was so horribly pale and gross that they had to resort to looking into products for him. He was just so busy helping in the phansite that he guesses he neglected his appearance. And what's worst, is that they all noticed it. 

Mishima looked back up at the products Ann recommended to him again and clenched his fists. He needs this. They used their time to give him these recommendations and he will not waste it. Even if he was just the admin of the Phantom Thieves, he still needs to look and be the best they want him to be. He took the products from Ann and quickly payed for it before they completely left. Luckily they didn't ask him about why he suddenly got the stuff but at this point, they can probably guess why. 

When they were on their way to Protein Lovers Makoto gestured towards a bookstore they were passing by."There was a book I wanted that came out a few days ago, I never really got a chance to come here yet so if you don't mind..."

"O-Oh no not at all."Mishima quickly said

Ryuji and Ann shrugs as he spoke"I guess if you guys don't take as long as the last shop it's aight."

"Great, it'll only take a few minutes."she quickly went inside the store ahead of them as they started to look around a bit.

"You guys just wanna split up and meet back here?"Ryuji suggested already looking disinterested.

Ann chuckles and put a hand to her hip "Oh like you're actually gonna read something?"

"For your information I am perfectly capable of reading!"He snipped much to her laughter"I-it's just that Akira says there's this book he saw that could help me with english..."he grumbles.

"Do my ears deceive me? You're actually putting effort into your education!?"she fake gasps"I thought I'd never see the day!"

"Shuddup!"he shoves her making her laughter more intense before they went deeper into the bookstore. Mishima couldn't help but be amazed with how natural the two acted around one another. They were practically bursting with charm and personality, unlike the blank slate he was. He slowly looks down at himself and his frown only grew.

"What's so interesting about me?"**Nothing**

He sighs and decided to just look around to get his mind off of his already extremely vocal thoughts. It's not like they were wrong, just that he rather stay in the moment to avoid the others annoyance. But what did bring a tiny smile to his face was seeing all the coding and programming books he managed to find. He initially thought it would be a huge hassle finding one but he managed to get a hold of three! He can definitely improve his skills for the phansite with this, maybe even learn some skills beyond website making and make it into a actual profession if he was lucky! But the phansite will always comes first, practicing for anything beyond that will only be a side thing of coarse. 

Once he put together the books he quickly looked around the shop to see if he can spot any of the three. He perked up noticing Makoto walking out of a aisle as he quickly went over."Nijima-senpai there you are! Did you manage to find what you were looking for?"

"Why yes,"she turned to him"they were beginning to run out to. My sister told me so many good things about it so I would like to see what's so great about it."

"O-oh well I hope you enjoy it then."he then looks around "By the way have you seen Ann or Ryuji? I'm not sure where they went."

As Makoto looked at Mishima she couldn't help but feel a wave of sorrow. While it was good that he wasn't thinking about the phansite for once he still looked so small and helpless. As if even a light breeze could knock him over. Now that she thinks about it she never really looked into him much before Akira brought him to light. When it gets down to it she knew absolutely nothing about him. Well there's no time like the present, she can start right now since they were by themselves. She tried to think of a topic that would catch his interest but not steer him back to anything related to the Phansite or the Phantom Thieves in general. Then her eyes snapped open in a realization. He started to stutter again when she mentioned Sae. Is family not a good topic for him? Well she has to start somewhere,"Hey Mishima."

"Oh uh yes?"he blinked.

"May I ask how's you and your family been doing?"

She didn't fail to notice his sunken form"W-why are you asking this?"

"Just trying to get to know your more is all."she quickly reassured.

"....Why? There's nothing interesting about me-"

**DON'T TALK BACK. ANSWER HER.**

Mishima had to actively hold back a jump in his system before he sighs"My family and I are fine, nothing new."

Makoto didn't like that answer, not only was it incredibly vague but defensive as well. She knows it's not a good idea to force someone to talk about personal things but she can't help but feel like there's more to this than meets the eye."Well what do you all normally do?"she decides to persist but tread carefully.

"W-well you already know about what I do. M-my parents mostly just work is all."he looks away.

_He doesn't like talking about his parents._That can not be a good thing, that usually leads to two things. The first is, one if not both of his parents are deceased and it pains to mention it. The other...

There's trouble at home.

But the problem with the first option is that Akira had said so himself that Mishima has mentioned his parents during the whole Kamoshida incident. He has always been skittish and a loner so it's not like the deaths were recent, they must still be alive. So there's no other choice then Mishima simply not having a good relationship with his parents. She might have to talk with Akira about her deductions later, but for now she should probably keep him talking to distract himself.

Just as she was about to do so Mishima called Ryuji and Ann over having found them as they walked over to the two. "There you guys are! Did you find anything?"he asked.

"You bet! I found the magazine for the latest trends"Ann smiled"I have to study this a little for my modeling job but it's still nice to look at from time to time."

"Funny enough I actually managed to find a recipe book that my ma was lookin at so I got this for her. As for that book I was gonna look for they're out of stock so that's a bummer."Ryuji shrugged putting the book under his arm."Hey Mishima you find anything?"

"A-actually yeah I managed to find three coding books."Mishima visibly perked up"these are gonna be so helpful for improving my skills! Imagine what I can do for the phansite when I finish them!"he exclaimed not noticing the hesitant look on their faces"Although I'll probably go through them real quick to see which one's the best out of the three so I can get only one."he turned to look through the books as Ann grabbed Ryuji and Makotos arms quietly walking out of earshot from Mishima, him to consumed with the books to notice the distance.

"Okay I can't be the only one who's concerned about him getting those books."Ann looked at the two.

"Is he really getting books just for the phansite? This is gettin ridiculous man!"Ryuji groans.

Ann knocked him upside the head"Keep quiet!"

Both of you be quiet"Makoto hissed"he's right there."

"Sorry queen."Ryuji twiddled his fingers but groans"ah dammit that came out of instinct."

"Nevermind that, it's better we don't let Mishima get any of those books. Nothing good will come out of it and it'll be his gateway into dedicating even more time to the site."Makoto quickly said.

"Well what are we gonna do snatch it from him and say no he can't have it? He's clearly not gonna react well and we're trying to make him feel better!"she whisper shouted.

"Why don't we just convince him not to get it?"Ryuji offered.

"Huh, that's actually a good idea Ryuji."Makoto says intrigued earning another "Hey!" from Ryuji"But we have to make sure to be subtle about it or else he'll pick up on our motives, Got it?"

"Yes mam!"they said determined as they went back to Mishima who coincidentally just looked back up from his books with a smile.

"Alright I think I'll go with this one, it seems to be the most helpful for what I'm aiming for"he held up the deep green covered book"I'll go ahead and pay for it-hey what are you doing!?"he got startled and tried to grab the book back when Ryuji took it from him.

"Come on man you don't need this, you're doing fine as is!"he forced a grin on his face to be more believable but Mishima could easily tell it was strained.

Ann goes over and pats him on the shoulder"Yeah you don't need to worry so much Mishima. Why don't we just put the book back? We can go get something to eat."

He looks down"B-But I wanted to improve the site..."he quieted down even more when he spoke"a-and maybe even make it a career-"

None of them seemed to hear him as Makoto took his hand"Listen, you already do enough as is, you don't need to push yourself even more than necessary."she took the book from Ryuji and put it on one of the shelves"Why don't we just leave this here and go alright?" He was about to protest once more until his inner voice harshly reminded him of his earlier statement.

**DON'T. TALK. BACK.**

He reluctantly gives in. He isn't surprised they don't want him to get it. They probably knew he was thinking of getting good enough to make it a actual career rather than focus on the phansite. He owes them his everything, he shouldn't be thinking about anything else but there team and needs. It was so selfish of him to even think of doing something else. Besides, it's not like he would've been successful anyways...

"Y-yeah you're right. Lets get going."he said with a shaky smile before they noticeably perked up and went to pay for their own things before leaving the store. The three didn't really believe they were as subtle as they could've been but they got the job done.

While Ann insisted on eating dinner right after Ryuji wouldn't let go of going to Protien Lovers. 

"I wanted to check out how Mishimas doing since the volleyball days!"he cheerfully said but both girls knew it actually meant "I want to know how malnourished Mishima is." Deep down they knew they had the perfect excuse to see if he was getting proper exercise, so with some reluctance, they went inside the gym.

Luckily Ryuji prepped before hand and gave Mishima a simple tracksuit before going to put on his own. Mishima was a little confused with Ryuji prepping a track suit for him but he knew better than to complain and speak up. By the time they finished changing they all noticed even for a standard sized tracksuit it still looked a little big on Mishima. He blushes and instinctively wrapped his arms around himself ashamed."I-I was always small for my age."

"Um...sure man, look how about we go on the treadmill or something? The girls can time us!"Ryuji cheered trying to bring the mood up.

"I'm n-not really one for exercise but if it's what you guys w-want then I can do it."he said before carefully going on the treadmill. 

For now they decided to move on from what he said as Ryuji went on the treadmill beside him. Makoto and Ann went to start their machines up, Ryui on a decently challenging speed while Mishima had a beginners speed. It was 7 minutes in when Mishima started to slow down and had slight difficulty breathing. He looked across from him and saw that Sakamoto was still going strong running at amazing speeds, he was breaking a sweat, but still had plenty of energy to spare. He couldn't help but be amazed with how much energy and drive he had. Maybe he could be like that if he worked hard enough for it....

**With your weak pathetic body? You'll never catch up to his athletic prowess, not even if you tried three times as hard as he did. This body is made to serve and obey! You'll only build your body when it caters to there needs and nothing else!!!**

Mishima looked back at his own treadmill and felt a pang of despair seeing that he was only doing a light jog at best and his body was still trying to shut down. He can never even dream of having the body and energy Sakamoto has, he was a fool for even thinking such blasphemy. But still, he needs to push himself to do better, it won't be good as Sakamotos(or even one Kurusu might like...)but dammit he can do more for them! And right now they're expecting him to keep up! So what if he's short of breath and feels like he's about to pass out? It's still not enough!

"Um, Mishima you need a break?"

He can do better, he has to!

"Mishima you don't look so good."

This is what his entire life is made for! 

"Dude turn it off you're clearly out of energy!"

He'll do everything he can for them, even if it means dying-

Makoto stopped the machine and soon after Mishima passed out with Ann quick to catch him. She initially moved away from Ryuji since she didn't want any sweat on her but she thinks this one time she can make an exception. Ryuji stopped his machine to go over."Why wouldn't he stop!?"

"I believe he wanted to keep up judging by the way he looked at you.""Makoto sighs" Let's get him some water and let him rest on the benches. They nodded in agreement as Ann went to get the water while Ryuji got a towel to at least wipe the sweat off of him. 

By the time everything was said and done all they could do was look at him with sorrow and guilt.

"Well, first thing I wanna say, is that he's clearly not taking care of himself. No one should be passing out on a 7 minute beginner level of a treadmill if they're fit." Ryuji said.

Makoto looked down"Sadly you're correct. We know about his lack of sleep and very questionable eating habits is a huge factor, but when I talked to him earlier I figured out that he doesn't exactly have that great of parents"

"To be completely honest, I don't know if this hang out did anything better for him, sure he got out of the house and we gave him a few things and advice, but I have yet to see a genuine smile come out of him. I think he's straining himself to be as perfect as he could be around us..."Ann put a hand to her lips holding back her sigh.

"Yeah that was about to be my second thing, I couldn't tell if he was really enjoying himself or not. I was gonna have us stay for a bit longer but he's clearly tuckered out. I don ' mind grabbing some food and dropping him off home. Gotta make sure he eats after all of this."Ryuji said looking at them.

"I see no other option, we'll go to the diner and take him home right after."Makoto agreed before they all sat down beside him waiting till he waked up.

By the time he did almost half an hour went by before he started stirring. He slowly opened his eyes and looked towards everyone before sitting up"Hey u-um, w-what happened?

"You passed out"Makoto said"so we had to let you rest a bit."

Ann helped him stand up"We were gonna leave the gym early, go eat at the diner, than drop you off home. You need to rest as soon as possible."

"N-no no if you guys wanna do more things today I can keep up-"

"You passed out not that long ago and are still shaking to keep yourself upright. We're gonna eat than take you straight home, no objections."Makoto snapped at him. She softened when he flinched and looked down but she had to make sure it gets through to him.

"O-okay, lets go then..."

When they left the gym and headed over to the diner, Mishima couldn't help but close himself off even more from them. He fainted in front of them! How much of a screw up was he to not even follow the basic instructions of exercise!? At this rate his body will be incapable of keeping up with their demands and needs. He probably ruined the entire day for them.

**WEAK. You screwed up just like you do with everything else! They told you to stop but you refused to listen because of your stubborn and fruitless endeavors! They will not forget this.**

He felt a shiver go up his spine from those words, but he couldn't deny the weight of the truth they hold. The next time he looked up he noticed that they were already at the diners entrance. He took a deep breath and steeled himself, this is his last chance to somewhat save this entire hangout. He already has a few ideas of what he can do but he needs to make sure he doesn't fuck it up.

They sat down and looked at the menus the waitress gave them. Mishima took the chance to start one way of compensating"H-hey guys order whatever y-you like it's on me." he tried to smile to make it more reassuring but they weren't buying it.

"Mishima don't worry we can pay for our own meals just fine! Besides, last thing we need is Ryuji freeloading on ya"Ann snickers much to Ryujis annoyance.

"I can pay for my own shit just fine mind you!"he hissed almost like Morgana.

"Will both of you quiet down we're in a public place" Makoto scolded almost like a mother with her troublesome children before calming down "And Mishima you're fine, just pay for your own meal and we can take you home right after.

**See that? They want to get rid of you as soon as possible. They can't STAND being around you.**

He looked down as a way of submission"If that's what you'd all like then I'll comply."

The others couldn't help but flinch slightly hearing how dead and robotic his tone sounded. Ann and Ryuji quickly stopped their bickering and decided to get what they initially came for. 

As a relief to all of them dinner wasn't that eventful since Mishima mainly stayed silent the whole time(considering how his first attempt at fixing things was a huge failure he figured it's best to stop trying) while everyone else enjoyed their own meals. On the way back to Mishimas home they also mostly stayed at a comfortable silence. He seemed to have distanced himself a little more from their seats as the three looked at each other. Judging by the expressions they gave one another, even Ryuji was able to read what they all thought. 

They failed. Simple as that. They were suppose to help Mishima relax and loosen up so he can see there's more to life than the Phantom Thieves and that damn phansite. But instead, not only did he remain tense the whole time, but they couldn't even fish out a genuine smile from him. Hell he's more separated from then than the three are right now! There was no saving this, all they could hope was that the other pairs do a better job than they did. 

When they reached his house Mishima waved goodbye to them and quickly went inside, up the stairs, and into his room shutting the door behind him. He collapsed on his bed and hugged his pillow tightly with one hand and clutching his phone with the phansite on it in the other. He should have never gone out, all he did was ruin everything and make things awkward. It doesn't help that he still has three more hangouts after this! There will be even more chances of humiliation from his saviors and he couldn't help but dread them if today was anything to go by.

He spent the next few hours on the phansite, he had a lot of catching up to do after making a fool of himself the entire day. He kept going till he passed out from exhaustion once more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's another chapter wrapped up! When it came to writing Ann Ryuji and Makoto I wanted to make sure I didn't have one overly outshine the other during the hang out. I think I did alright with writing them, they didn't seem too out of character so works for me!
> 
> Next up, Futaba and Haru!


	6. Haru and Futaba

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Since the first hang out didn't turn out to well, Haru and Futaba hope to pick up the pieces.

Haru sighs hanging up her phone. 

She was currently outside of her house having just finished her conversation with Makoto. After the hang out from yesterday the three told the group chat what happened, and nobody was really happy about the news so to say. Akira and Futaba were especially vocal about it. Futaba complaining that it's more weight on their shoulders while you can practically feel Akiras disappointment through his text messages. She found it sweet that he cared so much for this boy that as far as she knows only really does business with him about the phansite. But then again she's still trying to get to know everyone so she probably hasn't seen how deep their relationship actually is.

With that in mind she walked over to her limo and went inside. Akira told her that Mishima agreed to meet outside of Leblanc so Futaba didn't have to walk out by herself for too long. She had such a lovely day planned out for the two of them! They will start off with lunch at a lovely tea cafe, and to make sure the two kept interest, a little trip to the electronics store. Futaba mentioned something about getting another hard drive for her laptop. It'll be a great day for all of them she just knows it!

By the time she made it to Yogen Jaya she quickly stepped out of her car and walked the rest of the way while the driver waited. She smiled seeing the two right on time in front of Leblanc. Futaba has seem to have brought her computer as she was currently typing something in it. Mishima on the other hand looked fidgety and nervous, as if he was dreading something. Haru frowned at the sight, that will simply not do, he really does need some cheering up. But she has nothing to worry about, her and Futaba will be the first steps to bettering his well being! With renewed determination she went over to the two. "Hello, I'm glad to see you're on time" she smiled.

"Oh no I just got here like two minutes ago, the NPC here apparently made it 30 minutes early."Futaba shrugged off continuing to type. Haru was a little ticked seeing Mishima look to the ground in embarrassment. Akira explicitly said in the group chat to make sure Futaba actually calls Mishima by his name. They didn't wanna take any risks of making him feel worse and Futaba had not seem to be paying attention to the situation at hand. No matter, she'll just simply "correct" her if Futaba does not bother to try.

"Well regardless of how long you both waited, everyone's on time and that's what matters. Follow me, our ride is this way"Haru gestured to a direction before the three walked over to their destination.

By the time they got to the limo, Futaba reacted with such amazement"Woah! We're gonna be riding around in THAT all day!? I never thought I would ever ride in such a fancy car!" she was practically bouncing in her spot hardly containing her excitement. 

Mishima on the other hand had the opposite reaction"A-are you sure i-it's fine for us to go in? I w-wouldn't want to mess up a-anything."

Haru can practically feel his anxiousness from where she's standing, she knows it's uncommon to have a limo and that both of them are heavily sheltered and reclusive people. So yeah she might have gone a bit overboard with transportation but she wanted things to go as smoothly as possible. Besides, they'll probably adjust as the day goes by. "No worries everything will be fine. This isn't the only one the company has anyway so knock yourself out!"she chirped.

"THIS ISN'T THE ONLY ONE!?"Mishimas thoughts practically shrieked out. The day barely even started and he was already terrified! What if he scratches the leather!? What if he spills drinks on the seats!? What if he annoys the driver to wits end!? Is there even a way to properly sit in a limo? Was there a certain etiquette when riding inside a limo!? A peasant like him shouldn't be riding around in such luxury this is insane-

"Mishima are you ready to go?"

He jumped a little in his spot and looked back up at Okumara" Oh uh y-yes yes you ladies go f-first."he said with a noticeably shaky posture.

"Sheesh Nishima I know what it feels to be anxious about being in public but I'd think you have a snake in your pocket or something!"Futaba snickers much to Mishimas dismay. He sighs and quickly got inside the limo. He's not surprised at all that he's already a laughing stock for Futabas enjoyment. Not like there's anything else note-worthy about him as she oh so brutally pointed out when they initially met. He decided it was best to just sit in the farthest corner of the limo and hope he doesn't make a even bigger fool of himself.

You can practically see the tic mark on Harus forehead before she grabs Futabas wrist when she tried to get inside. "Futaba may I speak with you for a minute?"she asked in a almost sickeningly sweet voice.

The tone completely flew over Futabas head when she approached her."Uh sure but shouldn't we be heading inside the big car?"

"Oh no it must be between the two of us dear, now tell me" she hummed before giving off a eerie aura" have you been paying attention to the group chats at all when we texted? Or even know the purpose of why we're out today?"

"Eh sort of, kind of just skimmed through it ya know."she shrugged before she put a hand to her chin" all I know is we're hanging out with this Nishima guy for some reason and that we all spend time with him throughout the week. That's it right?"

Futaba immediately felt a shiver up her spine when the aura became one of rage, yet Haru still kept that sweet smile on her face"Ah so my instinct was right, you weren't paying attention at all. So let me refresh you on what's happening to the fullest detail." She gently placed a hand on Futabas shoulder but the touch felt ice cold "You see Futaba, Akira was worried about Mishimas recent behavior, VERY worried. He initially didn't want to bother us about it thinking it was his paranoia, but when we all saw first hand how malnourished and mentally unwell he actually was, we decided that we should make him feel better before he spirals even further to whatever goes through his mind. With me so far?" 

"Y-yes I get it but why is this such a big deal? Isn't he just the admin of the phansite? He seems to be doing his job just fine so I don't see why we have to worry so much over-"

She squeaked a little when Harus hand on her shoulder tightened "Oh sweetheart it seems you still don't get the gravity of the situation. You see if Mishima keeps spiraling and we make no interference to lift his mood, not only will we be going against the code of the Phantom Thieves to always try and help someone in need, but this is extremely important to Akira. He's the closest to him after all and hates seeing him like this. And if that's not enough, may I remind you that there's the threat of him having a PALACE if we let his emotions run wild. Something I'm sure you don't want him to go through, right Futaba?" Haru noticeably calmed down and her touch was much more gentler at the last statement.

Futaba took a moment to process her words and her eyes widened in realization of what it all means. She looked down and hugged herself a little remembering the emotions and trauma she went through of not only letting her emotions get the better of her, but having a palace on top of it. The plan now made so much more sense to her, and she couldn't help but feel slight shame for all the things she has said about him. She didn't want anyone to go through what she did, and if this is suppose to stop the spiral within him get stronger, than she will put much more effort into this than any rpg game she has ever played! She looked back up at Haru "Alright, I get it now. This is much more than a simple hangout, it's to prevent a much bigger problem from forming. We have to do our best to help Nishima-"

"Mishima, Futaba. His name is Mishima. I can tell it hurts him every time you carelessly get it wrong."Haru gently corrected.

"Right....Mishima. We need to help him, I may have not known him for long, but I know he doesn't deserve such a horrible experience...."

"Come on, lets hurry inside, he might be confused as to why we're taking so long." Futaba silently nodded as the two quickly went inside the limo.

Mishima was shuffling in his seat growing more anxious the longer the girls were outside. What were they even talking about? It's already been at least five minutes..wait, were they talking about him!? Oh god what are they even saying!? He curled into himself more just thinking of all the possible things they can be saying about him. His stupid stuttering, his gross complexion, or the fact that he just doesn't shut up? Or even how he's so awkward? Then it occurred to him, doesn't Futaba suffer through something similar?

**It's not nearly as embarrassing or excruciatingly annoying like yours.**

Fair point.

He needs to take his mind off of this. Maybe he should check the phansite again. He know he went through it this morning and before Futaba met up at the meeting spot but another time couldn't hurt right?

With that decided he eagerly takes out his phone and checks it. Everything seems to be good, not much spam, a hater comment he'll clean through in just a moment, and no new requests as far as he's seeing. Right when he was about to filter out the comment the girls stepped inside with Haru closing the door behind them "Sorry for making you wait Mishima, I just wanted to make sure Futaba gets a run down of what we're doing today is all."

He didn't notice the brief look Haru gave towards his phone before he put it back in his pocket."O-oh don't worry it's no trouble at all. I was just taking the time to adjust." he quickly assured.

"Well with that out of the way let us be off!"she chirps"Make sure you two are buckled in, it is still driving a vehicle regardless of how fancy it is. I'm looking at you Futaba"she warned.

Said ginger haired girl was more so crouching on the seat looking around at all the features before she snapped out of it when addressed. "Ah right sorry!" Futaba quickly sat back down and buckled in with Mishima having already done so.

He looks over to the snacks and drinks the limo had in slight astonishment. Not only do the snacks look foreign and high end, but there was even alcohol selections for drinks beside the juices and sodas. He couldn't help but feel his mouth water a little from the looks of them alone. It probably might have to do with not eating this morning to make sure he was on time but he'll never know if he can experience this ever again! So surely he can let himself relish it dammit! Mishima already had his eye on a sweet looking bread and went to grab it-

"Mishima we're going to a tea cafe so I think it's a good idea that you don't fill up on snacks to much. Maybe later."Haru swiftly said causing him to stop in his tracks."Anyways, how is it for you Futaba?" He didn't pay attention to her trying to engage with Futaba as he slowly retracted into himself.

**Greedy pig. How dare you take advantage of your saviors hospitality!? Not only is your filth tainting and ruining the seats but did you really think you would DARE put your grubby little hands on her foods without her permission!? You should be grateful you even get to see any of this! None of these goods and luxury are for you and NEVER WILL BE.**

He shook a little at the voices words and once more they spoke the truth. When will he learn to stop being so greedy and idiotic? Of coarse he shouldn't be touching anything. None of it is his and isn't meant to be his. He should just appreciate what his saviors have offered him and expect nothing more. He felt his stomach churn in hunger and hoped to god the girls didn't hear. Mishima briefly looked up and saw that they were having a lively conversation about how functioning some electronics actually are. God even Futaba is doing a much better job than him at getting along with the Phantom thieves. Maybe when they get to the cafe not only will he finally get some food in his stomach but maybe even figure out how she has done so well compared to him.

When he felt like his stomach and thoughts were ready to devour him he felt the limo come to a stop"We're here!"Haru cheered officially snapping him out of his trance. 

Futaba looked out the window and made a sound of awe"This place looks so cool! Like one of those cafes you see in a visual novel! We're gonna eat here!?"

"Yeah I kinda agree are we really gonna eat here?"Mishima couldn't help but say in a worried tone. This place was way too fancy for him! Granted it could be said the same for Futaba but she deserves to enjoy the finer things in life unlike him."A-aren't we under dressed? W-well you're not o-of coarse but if I had known I-I could've worn something a little b-better. Wait nevermind I-I don't think I own fancy clothes-"

"You're rambling" Futaba deadpans but instantly lightened up a bit when he squeaked out a shaky apology right after "Dude calm down I'm pretty sure Haru would give us a heads up if we needed to wear something snazzy."she tried to assure. Futaba found herself very unfamiliar with comforting and reassuring others, maybe because she's use to being the one comforted. Well she did say she would learn new things so this is sure to be an experience.

It seemed to have worked when Mishima looked back at her seemingly more relaxed" Ah r-right of coarse. How foolish of m-me." and of coarse his stupid brain jumped to conclusions making a even bigger idiot of himself. Why can't he just get it together!?!?

Haru clears her throat as the driver had already opened the door for them to exit."Well lets not wait any longer shall we? I'm sure you two must be famished."

At the mention of food Mishima and Futaba quickly left the limo and joined her into the cafe.

\--

The inside of the cafe was one of the most fanciest things the two tech geeks have ever seen. Hand crafted tables with lace table clothes, antique decor with small chandeliers, and fine china not only on top of said tables but in white armories too. Futaba looked like she was ready to touch anything and everything while Mishima was afraid of breaking things even with the slightest touch. A waitress dressed in what appeared to be a classic maid outfit approached them before giving a curtsy "Hello there esteemed guests, may I show you to your table?"

"But of coarse, with a window view if it's not to much trouble."Haru said having already been use to the customs.

The maid stood straight once more before grabbing the menus"No trouble at all, please follow me."

She walked ahead with the three quickly following behind. Mishima couldn't believe what he was seeing. He thought never in his entire life would he be able to eat at such a high end place. Everything was top notch and here he was looking and being a hot mess. Last time he tried to eat at a high end place it was when he tried to use the phansites funds people donated to have a extravagant dinner with Kurusu, as a "celebration of their hard work". God he was such a egotistic brat back then, and he showed that side to Kurusu constantly with no shame. Sometimes he wishes he can go back in time to his past self to beat the sense into him. It's no wonder why he doesn't see him as anything more than a business partner for the phansite. If he were to hang out with himself he'd want nothing to do with him either! He's so glad he past that now, now his mindset is exactly as it should be! He snapped out of his internal tangent when they were already being seated at the table. That's another thing he needs to work on, not zoning out to much. 

**A peasant can't serve his saviors if he's constantly distracted with his own unnecessary thoughts! **

That could not have been worded any better. He made sure to keep to himself as much as possible so his unworthy hands wouldn't mess up the lavish decor. He turned to Futaba when she instantly watch the maid walk away "Wow! I didn't know there actually were maids like that! I always thought they were seen in manga and video games!" she then held the tea cup that was already set on the table to eye level" and these cups are so fancy! I can't believe we're actually gonna have a tea party!" she cheered with child like wonder.

Haru couldn't help but giggle at her antics"I guess it would be a dream come true for little girls, but try not to play with the tea set to much for they are rather delicate." she gently reminded before picking up the card set on the table with a list of teas."Now is there any teas you'd like to recommend?"

If he was being honest, Mishima wasn't that much of a tea person. He usually had energy drinks or caffeine in general as his go to. Although the few times he had it he did take a liking to this specific one that he knows starts with a C. Something about it always felt right to him after drinking some. It had a really soothing feel and taste in his opinion. But of coarse this isn't what he wants, it's what they want. Okumara was just being polite like she always is. "Well you probably have a lot more experience than I do so I know you'll be able to pick something nice. Unless you had something in mind too Futaba?"

"Meh, I hardly if not ever drink tea so I guess whatever tastes good." she shrugged still inspecting the tea set and it's design. The two couldn't help but sweatdrop at her comment before Haru turned back to Mishima.

"Mishima I do insist that it's okay to ask for a specific blend. We did invite you here after all, don't be shy."Haru tried to persist. She has a hunch that he's lying about not having anything in mind. If what Akira and the others have told her so far, he will almost always refuse to say what he actually wants. Rather he'll do anything he can to give the choice to them instead. Haru refuses to give up so easily and just let him do this. She's been to plenty of tea parties before, and sometimes a persons favorite blend does leave hints to their personality. They have a lot of options at this cafe so going through it one by one will take forever. Narrowing it down shouldn't be to much of a hassle with her experience. She remembered Mishima hasn't said he never had tea like Futaba, just that he isn't as experienced with it. She turns to Futaba and noticed she was still admiring everything around her taking a break from the tea cup. Haru knows that she never had tea, so she doesn't have to worry about whether the choice will suite her taste or not.

Turning back to Mishima, who was looking as skittish as ever, she could immediately tell he was patiently waiting for her to decide. She's gonna have to play this carefully if she wants the true answer out of him. Judging by his behaviors and the bags under his eyes(which she will sadly have to ignore for now), he's definitely a night time person. So maybe a tea that's good for drinking at night would be one of his favorites. While night time teas do have a tendency to be slightly sleep inducing she strongly thinks that he needs more of it in his diet judging by his malnourished look. "There's just so many good options here, I'm practically struggling with a choice here. Although I think I managed to find a few. What do you think of peppermint?"

"O-oh, didn't think that can be an actual tea."he blinks surprised.

Definitely not it. It's only the first option, she just has to continue down the list. Maybe it's better to choose more common teas.

"I see a lavender one here too."She continues.

"Sounds fine."

Nope. No reaction to it.

"or maybe even Decaf Green tea?"

"There's decaf?"

Okay that's a miss.

"Although Lemongrass sounds interesting"

"Yeah it does."

Just a little more....

"Chamomile does sound good to."

He ever so slightly perks up a little"O-oh r-really?"

Ah ha!

"Yeah I thinking of having chamomile, how does that sound?"she smiled.

"S-sounds great! Good c-choice."

Luckily she managed to figure it out just in time as the waitress came back ready to take their orders. She turns back to the two with a satisfied smile"Is there anything you want to eat?"

Futaba without any hesitation looked up to her and spoke"I want to try udon! And none of those tiny portions either!" she had her cheeks puffed up like a little squirrel at the last part of her sentence.

Mishima and Haru sweatdrop at her response before he carefully spoke up "T-the broccoli cheddar soup i-if that's fine..."

**Indulgent pig.**

"Oh that's a really good choice! You'll love it."Haru smiled before folding her hands over the table"Anyways, I think now is a good time we get to know each other don't you think?"

"Uh yeah I always kinda wonder what your like besides our first meeting you know?"Futaba quickly followed remembering the original goal for this hang out.

Mishima grew a little startled by their sudden interest in him, is this a test or something?"W-well I assure you t-there's nothing else to me than what you already know. I'm p-pretty one dimensional so to say."he said with a forced chuckle.

They were not impressed with his answer before Haru spoke up once more"Don't sell yourself short Mishima I'm sure there's more to you than you think."

"N-No no there's hardly anything I promise. I'm just as average as it gets. Only u-unique thing I do is the phansite and that's about it."he couldn't help but feel a little uncomfortable with where this subject was going.

"Mishima...."

"Y-yes...?"

Harus expression suddenly turned serious in a almost scary short length of time "It's not good to think like that you know? That type of mindset hurts people. There should be more things you don't know about yourself that makes you, well, you."

He suddenly felt very tense and his throat clammed up on him. What was she trying to imply? Why is she so persistent on knowing more about him? Hell Futaba is just sitting there not even bothering to interfere! Is she in on this!? Was this whole hang out just a sneaky way of evaluating him!? Then again when Okumara was trying to pick a tea she went through them as if she was trying to get a reaction out of him. He reacted the most when she mentioned his favorite tea. His eyes widened in realization. She was playing him! Why would she do that just for some stupid tea!? Is he that predictable!? Maybe they think he's hiding something? Or that someone as dull and lifeless as him can't possibly exist and that there has to be more? 

**And they will be so disappointed when they realize there really is nothing worth while about you. You're as generic and useless as they come. In due time they will grow board and want NOTHING to do with you.**

He doesn't know how to proceed with any of this! He's basically being tested and he doesn't have any answers that will satisfy them! God why does simply existing cause him so much pain and stress!?

"Mishima...?"

"You okay?

He jerked a bit in his spot looking at the two girls. Right, he had to come up with something about him that isn't so mind numbingly dull. "Well uh, I-I for the most part take care of m-myself...."he muttered. Wasn't what he'd prefer to say but he'll take anything.

"Really?" Futaba gasped sitting up from her seat a little "I can't imagine being on my own without Sojiro! What's it like!?"

"T-trust me it's not as glamorous as it s-sounds..." he sighs slowly looking down.

Haru puts her hand over her mouth in slight surprise "Really? I must say I don't really take care of myself to much either but it must be nice to have so much independence."

"I-I guess it seems nice to have some independence..."he forcefully chuckled before he looked at his hands, one calmly over the other on the table, noticing how frail and pale they actually were. This is how his body looks, but it's made to serve. This body was never meant to be cared or nourished, only to obey. He remembered how much he had to do on his own. Right...his parents...for some reason he seems to loose all sense of awareness thinking about them. As if they would appear before him if he did so. But no, he's independent....

"It seems nice to have some independence, it's not like I had a choice. When there's parents who go to work seemingly everyday, not bothering to check up on you. See if you had a nice day at school, or if you ate breakfast this morning, or even if I had a good practice at that sport I mentioned to them numerous times? Maybe it's when you hardly see them to begin with. Wondering when they'll come back. And those rare times they did have dinner at home, they forgot to set a plate for you. Sometimes wondering if they even remembered they have a son? If they even know my name? What if I were to go missing one day, would they even notice? I don't think they would. Dark thoughts can be storming inside me, I can come home with a bunch of cuts, bruises, and scrapes, I can even sit down with them at the dinner and say I had thoughts of having no reason to live anymore, and they wouldn't even bat an eye. They'll never look away from their work or phone, I realized they'll never acknowledge my presence. I'm not important enough to them, I have accepted that for a long time. So if being independent means doing the best you can to take care of yourself since no one else won't, then yeah, I guess I can be pretty "independent". If I'm not how else will I survive?" he thought to himself. He didn't know where this came from but now it's there. No reason to it. It won't do anything from mentioning it, but it's there. Sometimes living through his life is nothing but constant ache. ** As if you ever felt alive to begin with. **

He sighs trying to snap himself out of it, he was suppose to be talking with the girls about something worth while dammit! He finally looked back up to see their pale and horrified faces looking straight at him. Mishima looked at the two confused "What? T-there something on my face?"

Futaba turned to him completely, even scooting a little closer "Dude did you seriously not hear what you just said!?"

"W-what do you mean?" he doesn't like where this was going.

"Mishima I'm so sorry, I didn't know you had such neglectful parents..."Haru sympathized almost tearing up.

HE SAID ALL OF THAT OUT LOUD!?!?

**YOU IDIOT!!! WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO DO!? GET SYMPATHY POINTS WITH YOUR SAVIORS!? PATHETIC! YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED!!! **

He was practically frozen in place from the shock as the waitress casually went over and served them their tea, uttering the words "Enjoy" before leaving. He didn't even react to her brief presence and swears that his body is currently trying to shut itself down because of his major fuck up. Sensing this Haru quickly tried to dispel the tension a little with a light clap of her hands and in a strained joyous voice. "Well looks like the tea is here! How about we have a little drink? I-It's really good I assure you."

"Y-yeah sounds great Haru! I hardly ever drank tea so this should be something new!" Futaba played along carefully trying to grab the tea from the handle as she once saw in a few of the more posh animes.

Mishima decided it probably was best to just follow their lead and pretend he didn't just pour out all of his parental issues a minute ago. Right, tea, just drink the damn tea and act like he has some sense of what he's doing. Shouldn't be to hard it's his favorite. Haru had to pull teeth to get him to admit it so the least he can do is fucking have some. He reached for the handle and carefully lifted it off the saucer. He couldn't help but notice how the liquid seemed to be vibrating until he looked at his arm. Oh, he's shaking. So much so that one might think he's about to have a seizure any second now. 

He used his hand to grab the shaky arm but it seemed to have made little to no effort, why was it getting worse? Just why did he have to blurt out all of that!? They didn't need to know, they were never supposed to know! These meetings and encounters are only suppose to be for their talks and benefits! He shouldn't be a topic unless he did something wrong like he always does! He shouldn't be here, there's not enough air for him, he feels like he's suffocating, he can feel the blood pump through his pathetic heart, his veins felt like they were on fire, his mind had so many piercing thoughts going a mile a minute, why does any of this even matter to begin with!? Shit he's suppose to be drinking the fucking tea and hope to god that it'll somehow calm his over active body. If he could just hold the damn cup properly in the first place! Drink it drink it DRINK IT-!

Cupping the tea in both hands (completely throwing etiquette out the window at this point) he quickly took a big gulp of the tea in an attempt to somewhat calm his nerves. But he forgot how hot it was and the next thing he knew there was tea stains on his shirt and a dropped tea cup smashed to pieces on the floor. The girls froze in shock at the mess he made not knowing what else to say. Mishima snapped out of it once he heard the broken china and realized the state he was in. He felt everything come to a stand still when it slowly dawned on him what transpired.

N-no...I didn't....did I really...?

He felt nothing but dread as he slowly looked down to the ground. And paled in horror seeing the evidence of his episode on the floor. He held himself acknowledging what he just done.

** UNCULTURED SWINE. You can't even drink tea without screwing it up!? Any faith those two can possibly have in you must be long gone by this point!!! Now they see you as the unfixable mess you really are! Once you clean up the tea cup that is worth more than your life, grovel and beg for forgiveness if you even hope to salvage anything. Which we both know you WON'T!**

Haru spoke up once more as if sensing his internal battle"Mishima it's okay. Accidents happen they'll just clean it up-"

"I'm sorry..."he muttered.

"What was that?" Futaba couldn't hear him.

I'msorryI'msorryI'msorrythiswasamistakeIruinedeverythingIneedtocleanupeverythingandpayforthecup-"he kept rambling more and more apologies as he tried to pick up the broken shards. The waitress came back with their meals and noticed the mess on the floor with Haru trying to go over to him so she can make him stop.

"Mishima don't just grab the shards you'll cut yourself!"

She could barely hear him with all the muttering but what she did hear was a brief chorus of "my fault my fault my fault". Haru heard the waitress and sighed in relief "I'm sorry but we seemed to have made a mess, is it alright if you can pick it up while I try to wash him up?"

"Oh uh yes no problem just put the shards down and we'll sweep it up in no time."the waitress assured leaving to get a broom. Mishima couldn't take this, not only did he screw up in front of the phantom thieves AGAIN but now he was being let off the hook for something he should be punished for! This is too much, EVERYTHING IS TOO MUCH.

"H-hey Mishima deep breaths-wait no don't!" Futaba tried to say until Mishima ran away from them and locked himself in the mens bathroom with his breathing becoming erratic. He spent the first few seconds (but it felt like minutes to him) to try and control himself but was hardly making any progress at all. He has already made enough of a scene and needed to compose himself as soon as possible.

"Come on Mishima just breath...breath.....b-breath...dammit this isn't doing much. M-maybe splashing some cold water will help...."

He went to wash his face to somewhat calm himself down but hissed in pain when he finally noticed his hands were bleeding from trying to clean up the glass shards. Mishima stared at his bloody hands initially going to wash off what he can immediately when he halted for a moment, noticing how much of it there actually was. The shards reflecting the bathroom light bulbs leaving a almost eerie shine, as if it was trying to grasp his attention. He didn't think blood was such a vivid shade of red. Such a lovely yet bold color. It hurt like hell, no doubt about it, but the sight was so...calming to him.

**Maybe we need more. A beautifully painful punishment. What could be any better?**

"It hurts...but I deserve it. I messed up enough times as is, yet they won't punish me when I clearly deserve it....maybe if I..."

He slowly clutched his fists hissing once more to the sharp sting of pain that not only shot through his hands but his entire being as well. He slowly releases his grip sighing from the loss. Mishima proceeded to look back at his hands, studying them for a deep moment. Then his eyes widened in realization of what he just done. Did he really just do that!?

"N-no no I can't be doing this!" completely disregarding any pain he felt when he turned on the water and put soap on the open wounds to clean them he still kept trying his best to wash off whatever he could. "I-I know where this kind of stuff leads to and I won't let myself fall that deep dammit! I-I can do better. I have to do better, for the Phantom Thieves and Kurusu!!!"

**But all you can do is fall deeper.**

"Mishima! Please come out we're really worried!!" he jumped a little hearing Okumaras voice but immediately felt a wave of guilt soon after. She must be so sick and tired of him. Probably wants him to get out of the bathroom so they can just get the rest of the day over with. But she's too nice to say things like that so she's sugarcoating it as worry. He ruined it, just like everything else.

He eventually opened the door as Futaba and Okumara looked at him with eyes filled with **fake** concern. He slowly walked up to them holding his hands out. He already knew they'd want to check them so might as well get straight to the point. The two took one hand each with the waitress from earlier holding a first aid kit to get the smaller shards out properly. Futaba looked back at their table and perked up "Look our food is here, why don't we go eat while we bandage you up?" Mishima blinked remembering they were at a restaurant. Oh right, he was hungry. He should probably do as she says.

Wouldn't want to pass out again.

\--

After they ate the girls kept silent about what happened for the most part. Mishima of coarse understands why. He made a scene in public and broke their property on top of that. What's worse is that Okumura paid for the tea cup while he was trying to collect himself in the bathroom. He's gonna have to find a way to pay her back for it.

Futaba noticed how tense and shaky Mishima was before she quickly remembered their second stop "Oh Haru don't forget we were gonna go to that electronics store! I wanna see if I can find decent upgrades or even a new hard drive." she hoped bringing this up could lighten the mood a little. If she remembers correctly Mishima is also one for tech so it should salvage the hang out a bit.

Haru immediately picked up on what she was trying to do and beamed "Oh right I almost forgot! Why don't we drop by before heading home Mishima?"she asked with a smile.

He jumped a bit at the mention of his name but quickly nodded along "S-sure that sounds good." Forcing a bit of a smile he went into the limo and kept to himself as much as possible in the farthest corner. Futaba and Haru frowned at the sight of this but they sigh knowing they wouldn't be able to do much anyways without forcing him. They sat down in their respective seats before driving off to the store.

When they did make it Futaba was more than eager to look around every corner of the store with practically stars in her eyes. "This is so cool!!! I feel like I just unlocked a new map!" Caught up in her excitement she grabs Mishimas wrist making him yelp as she dragged him along with surprisingly good stregnth (or he was just very light) and started walking deeper into the store"Come on come on lets see what they got!" Haru couldn't help but giggle at their antics before walking behind them.

Futaba ended up taking her time looking through the store much to Mishimas anxiety. The incident from earlier and how much Futaba obviously knew more than him in tech was already making him feel anxious just being there. 

She was talking about one of the newer models on display before noting how silent he's been. When initially turning to look at him she noticed Haru. She gestured that she was gonna look at another section she spotted earlier. Futaba nodded and watch her leave (It was most likely a way to give them alone time) before turning back to Mishima. She slowly grew more quiet and tried to think of a way to cheer him up. He was definitely thinking about what happened earlier no doubt about it. Well they are both tech geeks, so maybe...

"Hey Mishima I don't think any of these computers can really beat my 99 grade level laptop. You wanna know why?"she suggested with a playful tone.

"W-well I guess it just goes down to preference-"

"Why don't I show you what I mean?" she grinned before taking him to the corner of the store for some privacy before whipping out her laptop and logging into it.

Mishima grew confused looking at the screen when he saw a bunch of code all over it "W-wow...this is pretty a-advanced..."  
She nodded"Yup, but I'm sure you've seen this stuff before right?"

"O-of coarse I have."he laughs nervously.

**Liar. You're to dumb for that level of coding and you know it.**

"B-but anyways, you are really good at this. Better than I could h-have been."he says with a withering smile.

Futaba picked up on the sad tone and turned to him "Well I'm sure the phansite you made is quite a feat! You did pretty good for what you had to work with!"

At the mention of the last phrase he perked up getting an idea."H-hey Futaba. Maybe with your advanced skills and already well informed laptop, you would be able to improve the phansite t-tremendously!" his smile looked more genuine that time out of the pure excitement of the idea.

She knew she had to take this chance to keep him smiling. It's the first time he has done it all day and this is what they were waiting for. Sure it involved the phansite and they were suppose to keep it away from him but she was desperate at this point. "Sure no problem! Just give me a minute."

When she hacked into the site she saw all the coding that went in it and the things Mishima has done so far."Hmmm. You're right, it does look pretty simple and basic. But no worries it's still pretty good for what you knew!"

**Meaning it's fine for someone as incompetent as you. You are pitiful after all.**

He shook his head trying to brush the thought aside "S-so you think you can improve the phansite? I kinda done all I really could..."

"Sure no problem! But you owe me lunch next time we meet up"she grinned before zoning in to her laptop. Mishima initially sweatdropped at her comment but his eyes widened seeing her at work. The way she coded and reworked the files was nothing he's ever seen before. He had a really had time keeping up with her pace, with her fingers moving swiftly along the keyboard and the lines of code multiplying at the seems.

Before he could even try to understand what he saw she chirped out a "Done!" before turning the laptop to him "how does it look?"

Mishima let out a gasp of awe. Not only did the phansite looked much more organized, but it had much more detail and interaction with it. He even noticed how the forums automatically deleted negative/troll comments so it wouldn't have to be done manually. There was nothing else to say but the phansite looked better than ever!

"Wow, I can't believe you did all of this in barely minutes! You have amazing talent Futaba!"

**Much better than you could have ever done. She should be running the site instead.**

At the thought of that Mishima suddenly froze. It was right, why isn't she running the site instead of him? She's clearly better than him, why settle for less? He couldn't help but ask himself "H-hey Futaba, how come you never tried to run the site instead of me...?"

"Hm?" she perked up not looking away from the screen "Oh that's simple, I'm not that interested in running it. You already do it and I have better things to do besides this so I see no need to spend time on it."

**In other words she has a life while you don't. **

"W-well that makes sense. I bet someone of your skill level would c-consider this childs play..."he nervously chuckles.

"Yeah pretty much, besides, you're doing fine as is so I don't need to step in." 

**Yet**

"I guess you're right"he felt himself get more uncomfortable and now had a strong urge to go home."W-we should probably go and meet up with Okumara again, I'm getting a-a little tired and feel like taking a nap..."

She looks at him a little concerned but sighs getting up "Yeah I guess you're right. There's not all that much that impressed me in this store anyways so sure lets go."

He sighs in relief and walked with her back towards where Haru left. It took Futaba a minute to realize something.

Why did Mishima call Haru by her last name?

\--

They managed to meet up with Haru again when she came back from the tv section of the store. She noticed Futaba looked a little more chipper while Mishima just simply looks tired. She figures it was a long day for both of them and is best that they just head home for now.

When they got in the limo Mishima just took the time to dissociate himself from everything around him. After everything that had happened all he can think of now is crashing into his bed and sleeping the night away, but he's well aware he can't do that yet. Regardless if Futaba made major improvements to the phansite (**more than he could ever contribute**) he still wanted to make sure it was still running smoothly and even take the chance learning the code she inputted. Of coarse his skills won't take him that far just trying to copy off someone who actually knows what their doing but he still wants to at the very least make the attempt.

"We're here." Okumara spoke up jolting him out of his train of thought. He could've sworn the ride felt like barely five minutes. Was he already that out of it? 

He shook his head to temporarily shake the exhaustion off of him before carefully getting out of the limo."Thank you for having me. I wish you ladies a pleasant evening."he did a soft bow before quickly heading inside his house not noticing the confused looks that girls had. Yes it was a bit formal but they're of higher status and importance so of coarse he must show respect like the filthy servant he was. 

He didn't notice the somber looks the girls gave each other before Futaba softly spoke "We failed, didn't we..." Haru turned away from her as if trying to dodge the question...but soon after caved in. 

"Yes Futaba. We have."

When Mishima got inside he took off his shoes and made a deep sigh that felt like it was withheld the entire day. It was quiet, most likely means his parents aren't home....again. He doesn't get why he's still hoping for them to appear anymore. Not like it was any different even if they were here.

Heading upstairs he went to his room, dropped his bag, and crashed on to the bed. God his bed felt like heaven right now. Though he can't get cozy yet, he still needs to check on the phansite. Turning so he can lay on his back he whipped out his phone and checked the site. He has to admit that it just keeps looking more and more amazing every time he sees it. He can only hope that he'll be able to upkeep it with his current skill level. It still nags at him that Futaba isn't interested in running the phansite. As if it is being neglected of having the best of the best. She's just so much better, the site deserves to have much more than it has now.

**So much better that she can easily replace you.**

His breath hitched at the mention of that. Replace him? No no that can't happen. He's the creator of the site! He worked his butt off to get it the way it is now! It's...his only purpose. He can't loose it now....

**You say that now but all it takes it for Futaba to be interested in the site and you'll be tossed aside like the trash you are. **

Mishima slowly held himself as if it was the only way to keep him together. "S-Surely there's something I do better at than she does." he was desperate for any kind of excuse at this rate.

**What can you possibly be better at than her? She's smarter, more attractive, likable, efficient, great to be around. She's basically over 50 times better than you in every way, shape, and form. Face it, the moment they realize she can do it better, you'll be nothing but a after thought. You will have no purpose anymore, and what should you do when you have lost your purpose to live? Kill-**

"NO!!! I'M NOT USELESS I CAN STILL HELP I WILL GIVE THE PHANSITE MY BLOOD, SWEAT, AND TEARS IF I HAVE TO I CAN'T LOOSE THIS!!!" he shrieked out to empty air in the confinements of his room. His breathing once again got heavy, feeling the tears drip down his cheek, past his chin, and on to the beds blanket. He didn't think he could curl into himself any more than he already did but he still somehow managed to. He can't let himself be replaced, because Futaba will take his life's work right under him with no effort. Falling out of line or disobeying is even less of an option than it was before. He has to work even harder to prove his worth. Maybe worship the ground they walk on more than he already does just to show how grateful and honored he is to even work beside them. Anything to please the Phantom Thieves. Anything to please Kurusu.

His life's purpose was counting on it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter took a little longer than usual. Went away for about a week during thanksgiving and also had some other real life stuff that I had to prioritize. I did notice that this chapter is pretty long so hopefully that makes up for it a little bit?
> 
> Anyways, Futaba and Haru didn't seem to have done much better. Looks like our pretty boys are up next!


	7. Yusuke and Akechi

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With not much options left Yusuke and Akechi are at a lost of what to do, but hopefully it's the right thing.

Frankly he didn't know what they were thinking pairing him with Yusuke of all people.

Akechi sighed as descended down the stairs of the courthouse building to the entrance. Lucky for them he had a relatively easy time at work and did have the free time for his assigned hang out today. But in all honesty, this felt like a huge waste of time. The first two attempts of making this "Mishima" guy feel better clearly didn't go well, so what makes them think sticking him with two people he hardly knows for a entire day is gonna make things any better? What's worse is that he and Yusuke are undoubtedly the worst combo to deal with something like this. From what he has observed so far the artist is incredibly awkward in the social aspect, let alone be able to help a emotionally fragile person. He himself on the other hand simply can not care less about him. He's only ever heard of Mishima maybe once or twice and only knows that he is the admin for the Phantom Thieves website. The only reason he was even putting up with this is because he's Akiras friend and wants to see him get better much to his annoyance. There's also the whole "might end up getting a palace if we don't do anything" which will be incredibly inconvenient for him but it must be done. Now that he thinks about it he's not even that good with handling other peoples emotions. Faking emotions and sweet talking are his strong suits but he knows that it'll be an incredibly risky move if he tried to pull that off with Mishima.

When he made it back to the entrance he started his walk towards the station to get to the park. Yusuke wanted to look at the scenery there and see if he can find some inspiration while they were already going out. Akechi wasn't even surprised Yusuke focused on finding inspiration for his next piece over helping Mishima. He doesn't believe that Yusuke doesn't care at all, just that he doesn't know him well enough to prioritize his needs over his art escapades. Knowing him he'll probably need to do the heavy lifting for the hang out. If there's one highlight to this future failure, he'll get to learn more details about the site and it's inner workings. Sweet talking the admin shouldn't be too hard. Depending on how fragile he is it'll most likely be child's play to get him talking about what he wants. It's not like he'll ever be close with him to begin with, so whether it helps Mishima or not is completely up to lady luck. Besides, he didn't know why he has this feeling or even remotely understand something so trivial but...

He didn't like how clingy he is to Akira.

Shaking the intruding thoughts out of his head he made his way to the station.

\--

Yusuke was currently at the meeting place half an hour early. He simply couldn't wait to be on time with the others to get here when there was so much potential at the park for his next piece. He already had his bag of canvases and another bag with his art supplies. Judging by the light hitting the trees and the undisturbed pond behind the bench he's thinking of maybe doing a water color piece. Or even acrylic paint could work for some of the more bolder colors. Though he can't help but feel that somethings missing. The scenery alone would make a beautiful painting but it might need a center or focal point that accentuates it. No matter, it'll come to him soon enough.

"O-Oh Kitagawa I-I didn't know you would already be here.."

Yusuke looked up and saw Mishima standing before him. Hands clutching his phone with a withdrawn look to his body language. If anything it expressed anguish and tension. It was as if he doesn't want to be here, but Yusuke's been told many times that he's not really good with social cues so it could just be his creative instincts taking over again. "But of course, I am always eager for any hopes of inspiration with my surroundings. You could imagine the many colors, shapes, and hues you could find in a simple park. The lake alone is a sight to behold."

Mishima turns his head towards the lake and shows a little smile."Y-you do have a point, I guess it takes an artists eyes to see the beauty in everything."

"It's not just beauty that we like to paint Mishima."Yusuke said with a suddenly serious tone"We bring to life the deepest emotions and most out of what we see. I'm almost certain Akira has told you about mementos before right?"

At the mention of Kurusu's name he immediately tensed much more than he initially was."I-I think he did once. H-he never usually gets into details when it comes to m-me." No matter how hard he wish it wasn't true. Despite giving him all the targets for said place Kurusu tells him very little about it. He was obviously curious and would always take the opportunity to learn more about what the Phantom Thieves actually do during their missions, but he wasn't part of the group. He's an outsider, the admin, the little kid that watches on as their heroes save the day. Wishing to be by their side and help fight the injustices, but is told to stay in the back and observe like the good little servant he knew he was and always will be. He can never be like them, or even dream of it. It hurts knowing that he can never be the person that is worthy enough to fight alongside them.

**Quit complaining. Be grateful that you're even involved with them regardless of how minuscule and pathetic it is.**

Right, no complaining, I must be humble and grateful to my saviors. What I'm thinking of is utter blasphemy and must be purged from my mind completely. I must know my place. It's the only place in this world I have.

"You seem to be dazed, are you thinking about something?"

He jolted a bit when Kitagawas voice snapped him out of his thoughts. Why does he keep zoning out? He really needs to control his thoughts sometimes."A-ah yes sorry, I tend to zone out a lot.

"Is that so?" Yusuke gets closer to him with a fascinated look in his eyes."What thoughts do you have in particular? Are they wistful? Morbid? Maybe even curious? A look into a persons inner psyche would make for a great piece. But as I was saying before, I had once made a painting from the inner desires of mementos. While I wouldn't necessarily call it my best piece, I do feel that I had captured some essence of the other realm."

Mishima grew more curious at the former part of that sentence"How come you wouldn't call it your best work?"

"Well you see a art critic saw the piece in an art gallery Akira and I were attending to gauze peoples reactions. He said that while my technique was good the concept was already overdone. I might repaint it one day but for now I will wait till I get a complete grasp of the human mind." Yusuke summarized.

"Then will you not be making a painting of the park?"Mishima asked growing confused.

Yusuke chuckles setting up his aisle and canvas"Of course I will. If I've been told correctly this is a day where we will "Hang out and relax" as Ann once put it. It's better to change subjects for the day rather than risk an artists block."

"I guess that makes sense."he nodded before looking around "So what part of the park are you gonna paint?"

Yusuke has already set up his paints and gestured to a direction brush in hand"I was thinking right here with the bench as the center point. " he then seemed to deflate a little before folding his arms contemplating"although I still don't think it's enough, it might need one more thing just to make a perfect scene."

"Well whatever it is I hope it comes to you. I'm gonna go sit down on the bench." 

Yusuke nodded as Mishima walked over to the bench stretching for a little bit before sitting down. He looked at the time on his phone and noticed that it would probably take 15 more minutes before Akechi would show up. He seems to be the punctual type so he highly doubts he'll be late. Well, unless something is holding him up but otherwise he should make it. 

Sighing and putting his phone away he leaned back against the bench closing his eyes and taking in the fresh air. Normally he would check the phansite around this time but not only did he do so multiple times before he got here, Futabas improvements to the site had made it practically run and filter itself out with little need from him. All he can do now is just look for possible targets for the Phantom Thieves and report it. He felt himself slowly become more obsolete but he refuses to be so dammit! If he can't filter out the site himself, then he can at least still scout for targets. Like hell he'll let the improvements take that away from him!

Mishima quickly tried to calm himself down with some deep breaths. He can't be loosing his cool now, he's suppose to be relaxing and enjoying himself. Now if only he can just clear his mind a little...

**Oh please you're too much of a shit storm to have a clear mind.**

.....Well he can't say he didn't try. There was still time before Akechi makes it, maybe a little nap can help him? Even he's aware he hasn't been sleeping much lately. If not for the constant monitoring of the site, it's simply because his thoughts have been really ebbing away at his energy lately. There were times when he felt like knocking out just from being alone inside the house with not much to do. He always completes his homework at school so all of his time at home can be for the site and he's not that great of a cook so he manages with whatever leftovers or take out he can get. Right now he wasn't locked away in his room. The scenery was nice, the air was fresh and crisp, the soft breeze gently blowing through his small midnight colored locks of hair cooling him, and there was hardly any noise besides that of nature and very distant voices of passerby's. It was the ideal spot for a little nap. If he can just let himself slip into the realm of the unconscious, it would be perfect-

"Ah, inspiration has finally struck!" Yusuke exclaimed startling Mishima out of his trance. Crap, he forgot Kitagawa was there during his little tangent.

"D-did you say something Kitagawa?"he honestly didn't really hear him, just that he shouted.

"Mishima I would like you to hold still"he said putting his hands in a square shot peeking through"I think you might be my missing center piece!"

"What d-do you mean...?"he was starting to get nervous.

"I mean you are gonna be the focus of my painting. Would you care to model for me?" he said as he walked over to him.

Of course Mishima felt a little uncomfortable at the prospect of modeling(even if it was just for a painting), but he did feel a little flattered that Kitagawa would choose him of all the things he could have as a focal point. Granted he was the only one around but it still felt nice."S-sure I don't mind, why me though?"

Yusuke was setting him up into a pose, folding his hands over his lap and tilting his head in a direction of looking at the trees"Oh quite simple really, you're vastly pale complexion, along with your unnatural figure, and odd facial features are a perfect contrast to the scenery." he beamed before nodding his head to himself approving the pose and going back to the aisle. Mishima froze at the comments and suddenly had a strong urge to burst into tears and run away. Vastly pale? Unnatural? Odd!?

**Basically you're fucking ugly and it'll make the background look better because of it. You actually thought you looked good? How laughable."**

He hated how insulting yet right the damn voice was. Mishima never even thought about his looks before the whole realization of how worthless his life really is! Why does it hurt when someone calls him ugly now!? 

**Isn't it obvious!? Only someone with even passable looks can be within the presence of the Phantom Thieves! Even if you are a lowly peasant!**

Mishima inwardly sighs, he's definitely gonna have to look up beauty treatments when he gets home if he wants to even be worth glancing at.

"Can you please tilt your head back a bit? I wish to paint the details on your neck."

God it's gonna be a battle to get through this. 

\--

Akechi finally managed to get out of the station after god knows all the stops it made. He walked up the stairs checking his phone. He sighs in relief noticing he has 15 minutes to spare. It'll most likely take 3 to 5 minutes to get to the park so if he's correct, which he usually is, he'll be there ten minutes early. Akechi isn't really expecting Yusuke and Mishima to be earlier than him. Although, given how anxious and submissive Mishima has been lately he'll most likely try to be the first one there if his sleep deprivation doesn't get to him just to please himself and Yusuke. Speaking of Yusuke, the park is a rather beautiful place so maybe he would show up a little earlier just to have his things set up to paint. If a scenario like this were to occur then that would leave Yusuke and Mishima alone for a couple of minutes. He can't help but feel that it is not a good thing. Yusuke has absolutely no concept of social cues, let alone someone who is currently in a emotionally fragile state. Judging by the conditions Akira has listed off, Mishima has reached a very delicate state where even one statement with a double meaning about himself could possibly send him spiraling. He noticed how he unconsciously started picking up his pace to the park. The more he thought about it the more it seemed like a horrible idea to leave Yusuke alone with Mishima more than necessary. Call it paranoia or his detective intuition but surely he's overthinking it? It's probably only been a couple minutes at most they've been together. It can't be fathomable for Yusuke to make any major screw ups-

"You're vastly pale complexion, along with your unnatural figure, and odd facial features are a perfect contrast to the scenery."

Akechi felt the grip on his briefcase tighten. He was wrong. Oh he was so very wrong. 

Although all he really heard was a sigh let out by Mishima from the distance he was standing. Maybe he already knows how Yusuke is and didn't take it seriously?

"Can you please tilt your head back a bit? I wish to paint the details on your neck"

Nope. He needs to get his ass over there right now before Mishima most likely throws himself into the pond.

He quickly made it to the bench area and saw Yusuke painting a clearly distraught looking Mishima who was holding a pose of his hands folded over his lap looking up at the trees. While he does get the pose Yusuke was going for he already knew him being the last to arrive is gonna be a big hiccup on their skirmish. "Why hello gentlemen."

Both jumped a little started by his voice before turning to him "Oh, it seems Akechi has arrived, would you perhaps like to join my painting? Mishima over here contrasts with the background while you would definitely blend in smoothly." Yusuke said with a curious look to his face.

He noticed Mishima shrink into his spot a little as he sighs."No no that's quite alright." he's already destroying the poor boys confidence as is"Why don't we take a little stroll? It is a very beautiful day after all."

"Y-yeah that sounds nice"Mishima quickly stood up from his spot and walked over to him.

Yusuke almost let out a pout at the mere suggestion"The both of you may go ahead, I will simply keep painting the scenery and add Mishima in when he gets back."

"A-are you sure? I'm pretty sure the painting would look better w-without me."he attempted to defend but judging by the look Yusuke gave him he wasn't going to budge. He inwardly groaned scratching the back of his head"A-alright alright I'll pose again when I come back."

"Very well, enjoy your walk"he said before continuing his painting. Akechi gestured for Mishima to follow him as he had already started walking. Mishima immediately got the hint and rushed to walk beside him.

\--

It was five minutes into the walk before Mishima started to feel really tense. He was walking with the detective prince of all people, of course he's nervous as hell! He even recently found out how ugly he actually is so what was he even suppose to do to even be tolerable around? He's probably thinking of ways to try and get rid of him or even shortcuts throughout the park so their walk can be shorter. Was there even any? Was he gonna separate with him just so he can have peace? Is he gonna ditch him like Kurusu did-

"Mishima I can hear your overthinking from here"

He made a quick "Eep!" before turning to him and bowing at a perfect 90 degree angle"I-I'm sorry I'm sorry I'll try not to be such a nuisance!"

"Relax, I'm not mad or bothered by you. We're just having a nice little stroll around the park right?"Akechi said with his signature detective prince smile.

Mishima took some deep breaths"O-of course of course. Just a nice, peaceful, casual stroll through the park. Nothing crazy, not like I can't handle this or a-anything..."he stuttered with a obviously forced laugh.

Noticing that Mishima wasn't about to have what appeared to be a anxiety attack, Akechi got to thinking on what he should ask now that the literal admin of The Phantom Thieves are right here ready to give him any and all information. He has to approach this with extreme caution. One wrong move and he could either raise alarms or cause Mishima to make a scene.

Then again, he already gathered a good amount of info by himself already. If anything, he should look into the social aspect of the Phantom Thieves rather than the factual. Considering the amount of allies he noticed Akira has, it wouldn't hurt to pick at one of their brains for a bit. This whole entire day was basically meant for that, but there is the threat of them having to deal with an unnecessary palace which would further delay any plans he has. Even so, he still has the urge to know how close this admin actually is with Akira. For the sake of his mission of course, there can be no other reason anyhow."You know Mishima, there's always something I wondered during my time with the Phantom Thieves."

Mishima subtly lit up at the mention of his favorite group."A-ah really? What is it?"

"How close he actually is with his allies you know? I mean of course he's formed a decent bond with the other members of the group but he's told me before that he has other allies that help exponentially with our endeavors."

He didn't fail to notice the way Mishimas form suddenly stiffened."H-he does?"

"Oh definitely. He has one guy that helps get him fake weapons to use in the metaverse, a girl who teaches him battle strategies, another that helps with his daily responsibilities so he can gather more things for the team, a person in the medical field that gives him healing items, and even one that teaches him how to do certain techniques with his weapons. It's amazing really."he smiled but then quickly put a hand to his chin before thinking out loud"Now that I think about it he never mentioned an admin who helps find his targets. I always assumed he manages to do that on his own time like other things."

"I-is that true? S-surely I was mentioned at least once?"he practically begged.

"Hmmm nope. The setups for these hangouts was the first time I heard of you. No offense you seem like a good person, but I was always confused as to why Akira never mentions you." he hummed.

Mishima turned away with a sunken expression" It's probably because I'm not i-important enough to be worth mentioning...."he said more so to himself than Akechi before turning back to him"T-thank you for telling me this. I-it's good to remind myself where I stand with Kurusu."

While Akechi wasn't completely sure how negatively this would affect the admin he couldn't help but feel a sense of accomplishment knowing that he's weakening one of Akiras ties much faster than it would have gone on his own. This one especially seemed like a crucial one to severe to him for some reason. He suddenly had the urge to know what tie did this boy originally think he had with Akira. Sometimes his curiosity really can get out of hand."I hope I'm not prying but what relationship did you initially think you had with Akira?"

"I-initially?" Akechi nodded urging him to continue. Mishima faced forward thinking about it before he spoke one more "Well...before I found out where my place is, I use to thin that we were...um...friends you know? I thought he saw me as another one of the guys to hang around with, joke about anything and everything, eat out, watch movies. The usual things you would do with a friend. In fact...there was a time...where I thought w-we could be something m-more..."he finished with a bit of a blush before snapping himself back to reality and becoming crestfallen"B-but of course that was all in my head, Kurusu wants nothing to do with me. I am his admin and nothing more. It was foolish of me to think otherwise." he slowly grew flustered waving his hand in front of his face "A-ah sorry to overload you with that! I must've sound really stupid and desperate..."

"Oh no not at all, it was actually quite insightful." Akechi once again pulled out his princely smile"It's a shame that the connection you two had wasn't actually real. Kinda makes me cherish the one I have with Akira even more. And it is quite noble of you to still give your best effort with such little reward. I'm sure you're making a good impact."

Mishima couldn't help but blush once more at the last comment"T-thank you. That's probably the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me." he let out a sigh remembering the day before "But I still can't take all the credit, Futaba has actually made the site better than I ever could have done. It's still nice that you think my work does mean something though."

"No problem at all." This couldn't get any better, the admin was so starved of proper attention and praise that he practically soaked up the backhanded compliment like a sponge. Akechi couldn't help but grin to himself how easy it would be to manipulate him into doing whatever he pleased. Although he still has to remember that the boy is very skittish regardless of the attention he's giving him. So what better way to keep him in check then to give him a little deal he couldn't possibly pass up? "You know Mishima, I could help you get Akiras attention in a more positive light."

He turns towards him so fast you'd think he almost got whiplash "R-really?" Mishima hates to admit it, but at this rate, he's desperate to do practically anything to win over Kurusu's attention (and maybe even affection). He knows that the way he is now is incredibly undesirable to say the least. But to have the detective prince himself offer his tips on the subject, he can't help but feel like the luckiest peasant in the world! 

**But is it even good enough to fix a lost cause like yourself?"**

Sadly the voice had to spark up a good point. Even if the advice was coming from a great place would it even be able to fix someone so broken as he is?"H-how can you do it?" 

"Oh don't worry your little head so much about it,"He almost sang patting Mishimas head as if he were a naive child"just follow my instructions and you'll be sure to get praise from Akira. I guarantee it." 

Akechi couldn't help but feel a shred of guilt seeing the way Mishimas face lit up with practically stars in his eyes. It's a shame he had to use him like this, but a opportunity like this is to good to pass up. "Now why don't we start with the way you carry yourself." 

"C-carry myself?"

"But of course. You see when I look at you, I see a meek fragile boy who would crumble from the slightest bits of force. Someone who works for the phantom thieves shouldn't be so weak and helpless. You need to have a more confidant stance. Keep your back straight, eyes forward, and even pace."Akechi soon instructed wasting no time.

"Okay okay! U-um..." If Mishima was being honest that was quite a lot of information to take in at once. If here remembers correctly he need to stand straight. He guesses that makes sense since it would help his back to not slouch so much. Next there was the eyes forward bit. It's most likely another way of saying to look in the eyes of someone directly when he's talking to them. Even pace? Well now that he thinks about it he does have a tendency to lag behind whoever he's walking with.

**Because you are not worthy enough to stand beside them and you know it.**

He can't lie that's one of the biggest reasons he does it to begin with, but even peasants have to look their best when following their saviors! With new determination he followed the instructions as best as he could. It ended up being a success for the most part, until Akechi wanted to look at him and his instinct got the better of him making the admin look down in submission.

"Oh well, 2 for 3 isn't so bad, but while we are on the subject of you, may I ask how well the phansite actually is for the Phantom Thieves?"Akechi figured it was best to ask these types of questions when the admins occupied with something else(that is being able to maintain eye contact).

Mishima tried his best to look at the detective prince without faltering before he stuttered in a absent minded way his answer."W-with the few things I've been told from Kurusu, it helps him make small changes in the population that g-gives them more popularity and stregnth the more targets I give them. H-he even says he managed to find out a-about some of his big targets t-through the site." he couldn't help but smile at the thought" I-I'm so happy that I do w-what I do."

So he's basically the main source of intel outside of Futaba..."Akechi thought before putting a gloved hand to his chin."If that's the case, if he were to be out of commission then the Phantom Thieves would probably take a big hit. But taking too big of a hit on them could jeopardize the initial plan and alter everything. The key here is to have him under my control rather than completely shut him down..."he smiled at the plan he thought of before turning back to Mishima who was still heavily focused on following Akechis instructions.

"A-am I getting any better?" he more so begged then asked.

"Maybe, but you should also pay close attention to yours look and personality as well. Mannerisms isn't the only thing you need to work on if you want to be the ideal admin for the Phantom Thieves." he stated in a rather belittling way but knew the boy wouldn't be able to tell the difference.

"O-Of course! W-when do I start?" he asked with new determination.

"Oh don't worry about it right now, I see Yusuke up ahead."he gestured towards said artist a couple of feet away painting"I'll make you a list and you can follow it when you get home alright?"

"Y-yes sir! I am h-honored!" he managed to squeak out as they went back to Yusuke.

The artist turns to them and perks up upon seeing Mishima again. He stood from his seat and quickly walked over "Ah finally you have returned, Mishima I still need your contrast to finish my piece. If you would please return to your seat on the bench."

"S-sure Kitagawa. A-anything else?"he responded with his head facing down.

"Actually I see a smoothie vendor over there, could you get us some? I'll have a mango, what about you Yusuke?"Akechi quickly interfered turning to the artist at his last statement.

"Personally I would like strawberry but what about my piece-?"

"Yusuke will be having strawberry, now run along. We have some business we need to discuss privately."Akechi ordered.

"Y-yes Akechi coming right up!"he bowed at a perfect 90 degree before scurrying off barely hearing Akechi yell out to get something for himself too.

Yusuke turned to him with a quirked eyebrow"And may I ask what is this important business we needed to talk about?"

"You see it too don't you Yusuke?"Akechi lost his smile and replaced it with a serious expression "How submissive and fragile Mishima is."

"While he is a rather timid one I don't necessarily see the point of this topic requiring privacy-"

"The reason why it's private is because you need to be more aware of what you say Kitagawa." he hissed"I wouldn't know where to begin with the fury Akira would have have he heard the things you told the boy. He's clearly at a very fragile state and we have the threat of dealing with another unnecessary palace on top of it. So if I were you I'd be careful of what you say around him, especially if it's on his looks and personality. I essentially had to do damage control on our walk."

Yusuke blinked in confusion "Whatever do you mean? I never intended to insult Mishima. He has such unique and fair features that I simply had to have it in my painting. It would've been perfect! A person that is suited more for the moonlight at night rather than the spring blossoms of day. I don't see how he could perceive it as insulting. If anything I was trying to compliment his unique traits"

Akechi resisted the urge to facepalm "Maybe next time don't use the words vastly pale, unnatural, and odd when describing him. Those terms are easily perceived as insulting and I can practically feel his depressing aura all around him. Taking it back won't do any good when he returns anyways, he'll just see it as taking pity and will know I told you to say it. Just, be more precise with your wording. We're on a mission here and if we screw this up not only will it affect Mishima but Akira will be furious with the both of us making it worse. Got it?"

Yusuke quickly nodded"Yes I understand, although I'm surprised with how much you care about Mishima. As far as I am concerned all three of us don't know each other that well." 

"If I am being perfectly honest I more so care about Akiras happiness with our mission rather than Mishima himself. As long as we keep him from getting a palace we are sure to bond much better with Akira. Guess it would be more responsibility on him if his main source of intel became too mentally unstable to continue his job. So it makes sense why he'd focus on him so much." Akechi ended with a matter of fact tone.

"Very well, we shall do our best and beat Mishimas rubbish mentality into submission." he finished with a more firm nod.

"G-guys I'm back with the smoothie..."

They see Mishima approach them with the drinks as he gave it to them,proceeding to enjoy the creamy beverage.

\--

Mishima already had the smoothies in his hands after he paid the man in the vendor. Luckily they had the flavors Kitagawa and Akechi wanted which brings him joy that he will be able to please them. He even managed to get a blueberry one for himself which he has to admit tastes delicious! It will give him plenty of energy to serve two of his saviors today. He was halfway back when his ears picked up faintly on the conversation said saviors had.

"As long as we keep him from getting a palace we are sure to bond much better with Akira. Guess it would be more responsibility on him if his main source of intel became to mentally unstable to continue his job. So it makes sense why he'd focus on him so much."

He felt himself go pale trying to force himself to keep a grip on what he was carrying. Him getting a palace? What does that mean!?

**It's those places in the cognitive world they visit to defeat the corrupted adults, and now a useless servant to add on top of that."**

Mishima felt himself shaking, he's at risk of having a palace!? That can't be true! He's been doing anything and everything he possibly can to serve them! What could he possibly be doing wrong this time!? 

** **Maybe it's your fuck ups the last few days dumb ass. All you've been doing is screwing up and showing them how weak and incapable you truly are. You heard them, Kurusu has to have his team waste time on you just so you can do your damn job right! You are nothing but a waste of space and a burden!!!** **

Resisting the urge to break down and cry he continued his way towards the two. He can still be salvaged. They say he's at risk of a palace right? Meaning he doesn't have one yet. All he has to do is follow Akechis instructions to being a better servant and he'll fit their standards in no time! He needs to lighten the load for them no matter what, especially for Kurusu. He's a useless sack of crap sure but he needs to steel himself. A good servant can't be so emotional all the time, it'll just get in the way of things. Maybe he should teach himself to become numb to emotions? A little difficult (and definitely trivial) but he'll think more on it later. Right now he has to look cool and act as if he never heard anything. "G-guys I'm back with the smoothie." Close enough. 

"Ah why thank you Mishima."Akechi placed his smile back on drinking his smoothie.

Yusuke eagerly drank the beverage not having much in his stomach prior to their meeting "This is rather delicious and surprisingly filling. Oh, did you cover for all of us? I don't remember giving you any money."

"D-don't worry I paid for all of them, a-anything for my saviors."he stuttered nonchalantly before sipping his drink.

"Saviors?"Yusuke blinked"but we hardly know each other, how can we possibly be your saviors?"

He made a little squeak quickly burying his face behind his drink "W-well how can you not? The Phantom Thieves go around saving us from corrupted adults and harmful peers just for the sake of justice! My life would be n-nothing without them and I would eagerly serve you all in this life and the next."

Yusuke had a look of shock from his response while Akechi hid his face of intrigue from the both of them. Yusuke turned to Akechi as he saw him mouth out "Just go with it we'll tell Akira later." before turning back to face Mishima.

He sighs and takes Mishimas arm "Well if that's the case then sit back down, I still need you to be the center piece of my painting.

"R-right right."

Mishima put his drink aside and went back to the pose he had earlier while Yusuke went to finish up the painting. Akechi took out a little notepad and started taking notes on what to have Mishima do and other ideas that can help him use the admin to his advantage, right under the noses of the two.

It was an hour later when Yusuke finally finished his painting. They had already packed up his supplies and started walking out of the park. On their way they spotted someone playing a violin in hopes of having people donate money to them. Yusuke couldn't help but light up at the performance and walked over. "Excuse me sir may I ask what piece you are playing?

The man perked up seeing someone take interest and spoke to him with a smile"It's called "Cherry Blossoms." It was a bit difficult piece to translate to violin but I always find the melody so hauntingly beautiful. I couldn't help but learn to play it."

Yusuke nodded along with a small smile to his face"I actually remember a traditional dance that I've once seen at a concert coincide with this piece. May I demonstrate to you? It was so beautiful that I remember like it was yesterday."

"I don't see why not, I'll take it from the top"The man grinned assuming position.

When the man started playing once more Yusuke began the dance he held so dearly. Akechi and Mishima were amazed with how beautiful he looked, as if his feet were barely touching the ground. He soon began to attract a small crowed, all in awe at his beauty not only in looks but movement. Akechi wasn't too surprised with Yusuke and his ability to dance considering his love for any kind of art, Mishima on the other hand was mesmerized.

He couldn't help but be a little envious at the way Kitagawa moved. It was the definition of elegance and poise itself. Not one step offbeat, light as air, and fluid like water. Hell, he's tempted to say that Kitagawa could've been a traditional dancer if art didn't work out for him. Maybe one day with enough practice he can dance like that for Kurusu whenever he wanted entertainment from him. Maybe he should ask Kitagawa for a few lessons when he has the chance.

"Mishima would you care to join? You seem to enjoy the performance so far."

He was startled out of his thoughts when Kitagawa went over to him with a hand outwards waiting for him to take it. Mishima could never reject his saviors demands and did as he was told. When he was brought to the center he just now realized the crowd that was still gathered around them and suddenly went stiff.

**You're so full of yourself, they don't want to see you flop around like a fish, they want to see Kitagawa dance like a graceful swan. Stop trying to take the spotlight because you know you'll never get any willingly**

He started reconsidering coming to the center until Kitagawa gave him a look to begin with the man beside him readying another tune. When he started playing Mishima initially froze in his spot not daring to look up. But then Kitagawa grabbed his wrist and pulled him close making him yelp. Mishima realized he was putting him in the proper position and proceeded to go in front of him so he can copy his movements. He carefully followed along paying close attention to the kind of dance Kitagawa was doing. With enough spectating he carefully began his own sequence making sure to basically be a mirror like image of his savior. 

Akechi meanwhile closely inspected the two dancers. Yusuke was doing phenomenal as he was before, but Mishima on the other hand basically looked like a stiff robotic version of the other. He was obviously to scared to do his own thing and figured it was best to copy the "superior" dancer. He put a hand to his chin in thought. Maybe spicing things up could make Mishima forget such strict limitations on himself. "You know Mishima, I think you should pick up the pace a bit"

"H-huh? What d-do you mean?"he momentarily stopped to look at him.

"I mean stop looking like a robot and dance, that's an order." Akechi made sure to enforce his statement to gurantee an obedient response.

"A-as you wish." Mishima forced himself to look away from Kitagawa before picking up the pace. He didn't really know what else to do besides listen to the music. Finally allowing himself to pay attention to the melody he smiled a little truly hearing the beauty of the piece. Without even realizing it he started dancing a lot more fluidly and, well, like himself. He was never elegant or classical with his steps. If one were to pay attention to his style, he was more so light and quick. For a single moment, he was actually enjoying himself.

Akechi smirked seeing Mishima dance entirely different from Yusuke yet still keep in rhythm with the man violin. He couldn't help but chuckle to himself noticing how he almost danced like a ballerina. Which is odd considering he doesn't remember him doing anything outside of anything technology or phantom thieves related. Of course he didn't dance like a professional, that would be absurd, but there definitely was potential.

Mishima didn't know how long or how much he's been dancing until he heard a light chuckle from none other than Kitagawa himself. "You seem to have astray from what I informed you." 

His motions quickly stopped noticing the mans musical performance was already drawing to a close and Kitagawa has already stopped dancing, but he had a look of amusement on his face. He started getting red from embarrassment"I-I'm so sorry I-I'll never do it again!" 

**God is making a fool out of yourself the only thing you can do!?**

Yusuke waved a hand "No no it's quite alright, while your technique could use some work it wasn't that ba-"

Mishima checked his phone (totally not because he needed and excuse to escape this humiliation) and gasp "Oh no I-I should probably start heading back home, there's so many things I n-need to work on already and I'm pretty sure I overstayed my welcome anyways."he muttered that last part more so to himself then to them"T-thank you for p-putting up with me, goodbye!" he attempted to run off but noticed Akechi and quickly went up to him "I-I almost forgot, do you have the stuff written down?"

"Why certainly, make sure to keep up with it"he once again pulled out his princely smile handing him a slip of paper with the tips he promised earlier written down. He figured there would be a point where Mishima would run off to avoid any more confrontation so he knew to prep things beforehand.

"T-thanks. Bye!" and just like that, he was gone. 

\--

Mishima opened the door to his house and quickly put his shoes to the side. He went back upstairs(once again ignoring that the house is empty) and locked himself in his room. While today wasn't as stressful or humiliating as the last few, he still felt the inferiority between him and the most poised/ high classed of the phantom thieves. He must've looked like a bumbling fool in their eyes who is practically made to do their every whim. Which he has no problems with of course, it's what he is. But if he's gonna be the perfect servant, he must mold himself to be the best version they desire. He looked at the list Akechi gave him with a serious expression on his face. This...this is the start of a new Mishima, a better Mishima, a perfect servant.

**A perfect slave**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yup another chapter is up.(wow that rhymed) And as we read, Yusuke and Akechi didn't really help much. But anyways, we all know who's next.
> 
> So two things I want to announce: First of all, college is starting for me tomorrow so I'm gonna be a little more busy than usual. Secondly, I already had a lot of ideas for others fics for different fandoms. I initially was gonna try and finish this fic first before doing any other one, but I really wanna start one of the ideas I had (specifically a certain one and no it's not a persona one). The reason I resisted till now is because I was afraid that I would focus too much on one fic and neglect the other which is something I always get annoyed when other authors do it and last thing I want to do is be a hypocrite and do exactly that. Or even write out all the fic ideas, post them, update them randomly, and never complete any of them. I want some kind of consistency if I'm doing more than one fanfic you know? But the biggest reason is that I'm afraid if I work on only this fic the whole time, I will loose motivation and inspiration to continue it. I already know how I want to lay out this entire story from beginning, middle, and end. But it would all be pointless if I don't feel like working on it anymore. I don't know which is better to do honestly. So for those who read this, would you think it would be better if I stick with doing only this fic till I complete it, or start on the new one and I can alternate updating them (basically when I update this fic I will update the other one and vice versa) please give feedback it would help me know which path you guys would prefer I do or is simply better for me. Thank you.


	8. Morgana and...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It was finally the day Mishima had dreaded most, he was practically gonna spend the day alone with Akira. He hopes he can live up to his standards.

Mishima was currently standing outside cafe Leblanc with a apprehensive look on his face. He didn't wanna go, he so badly didn't want to be standing right at this very spot. But it'll go against everything he preached if he were to stand up Kurusu or all people. He should be overjoyed to spend such private time with him! Granted there's the cat that always follows him around but he doesn't really count. Maybe petting the cat could calm him down if anything-

**And I'm gonna stop you right there. You think you're worthy enough to even lay a hand on his beloved pet? Don't make me laugh! Keep your filthy hands to yourself peasant!**

Or maybe not." he sighs to himself before looking at his phone to check the time "I still have an extra twenty minutes before the actual meet up." He put it away and closes his arms around himself, how was he gonna do this? He made sure he did everything possible to look presentable and be on his best behavior. He showered thoroughly with the shampoo, conditioner, and bodywashes Ann kept recommending him even after their hang out. He won't lie the smell was still way to fruity for his liking but she knows best. There was also the walking exercises he did in case they were gonna do any physical activities, he had to ask Ryuji for some more pointers on that so he has more energy. There was even the table etiquette he tried to learn the basics on from Haru, they were in a coffee shop so some table manners would make him more tolerable. And most importantly, Akechis notes on behavior and body language. He studied it like his life depended on it (which it clearly does if this is for Kurusu). He should be more than prepared to meet his savior one on one if he just follows what he was taught. He went to open the door but quickly halted. Should he knock? No wait this is a cafe that would be weird. Should he wait outside instead? Would it seem rude to be early with the possibility that Kurusu wasn't ready yet? Maybe he should wait at a booth? Or maybe texting him would be better. Yeah he'll text that he's outside and will wait for him whenever he's ready-

"Ah you're early Mishima."

He shrieks jumping in place when he noticed Kurusu standing right in front of him. How long did he zone out? Was he standing there the whole time!? "H-how long-"

He put a hand up with a smile "Relax I just got here, so are you gonna come inside or stand out here?"

"I-Inside please" he stuttered quickly shuffling in with Kurusu closing the door behind him. He'll be lucky if his nerves don't get the best of him

\--

Akira looked at the back of Mishimas head as he walked towards one of the booths and sat down. The shop was already closed and he asked Sojiro to let him have the shop a little earlier just to have more time. He's gonna be working tomorrow and the day after to cover for it but it's a small sacrifice to make sure Mishima is alright. He went over and sat on the opposite side and took a close look at the boy in front of him. He already looked like he was lost in thought and had his hands folded neatly over his lap with proper posture and all. Upon closer inspection he frowned seeing the bags under Mishimas eyes and the unnatural paleness of his complexion. While he is naturally fair skinned, he is clearly able to tell that it looks a few shades to sickly. 

Both of them snap out of their thoughts when Morgana leaped onto the table before settling beside Akira. The cat turns to him with his little nose twitching in curiosity "So what's your plan?"

Akira was gonna whisper it to Morgana to make sure Mishima wouldn't here but was surprised to see the admin chuckle a little and place his hand besides Morgana as a sign of asking permission to pet him "He really is talkative ain't he? Must be nice to have such a cute cat around....c-can I pet him?"

Morgana was about to protest but judging by the look Akira gave him he was not gonna escape this one. He sighs before turning back to Mishima and going over to him. As if he picked up on the cats exasperated tone he started retracting his hand "I-I'm sorry, I don't think he likes me."

Noticing the boy withdrawing Morgana wasted no time nipping at his hand to bring it back out and placing it on top of his head "I'm not failing this mission dammit!" he said determined.

All Mishima heard was a meow before smiling and petting his head. "Awww he really is adorable, for a second I thought I was too gross or unappealing to touch him" he laughed not noticing the worried looks on Akira and Morganas faces. Why word it so horribly? "Oh, I wanna see if he has a sweet spot! I-If that's okay of course." he quickly withdrew his excitement upon asking.

"Knock yourself out, Morgana here is good for petting at all times, ain't that right?" Akira smiles looking at Morgana expectantly. 

He huffs with a dignified stance "Whatever, if a little petting keeps him stable I have no problem-oooooooohhhhh that's the spot!" he suddenly purred when Mishima started petting and scratching the sweet spot behind his ear. Mishima took it as his cue to keep going making Morgana a purring cat puddle reveling in the pets a lot more then he was a few seconds ago.

Akira laughs quickly taking his phone out to record it, he was gonna cherish this video for posterity and maybe even use it as blackmail. Whatever comes first, he guesses. Mishima smiled too, but more over the fact that he was making Akira and his pet happy rather than the moment itself. He was secretly relieved that Morgana didn't mind his touching. When Akira put his phone away Mishima took it as his cue to stop allowing Morgana to recover a little. " So Mishima, how was the hangouts for you these past few days?"

"O-oh they were lovely" he didn't fail to ignore his revert back to stuttering."I-I'm so grateful you all took time out of your b-busy schedules for some like m-me." he smiled.

Akira was a bit frustrated that he was lying to him just so he can "appease" him. Everyone else said that the hang outs either ended horribly or nothing changed, yet Mishima refuses to admit his discomfort. Hell, he's probably going crazy inside his head right now because he's not sitting in front of Akira, he's sitting in front of the Leader of the infamous "Phantom Thieves". He's already seeing signs of his worshiping like behavior whenever he hangs around him. All he can do now is attempt to get to the root of it. "Hey Mishima."

"Y-yeah?"

"You know we're friends right?"

"......" Mishima let out a burst of laughter from the statement, as if it was the funniest thing he has heard all day. Akira was shocked by the reaction while Mishima wiped a tear from his eye "Wow Kurusu, y-you really do know how to keep me going do you? It's nice to f-flatter me and all but you have no need to force yourself to say s-such things."

Even Morgana was shocked with the way Mishima reacted while Akira began to feel anxious. Does he really think they're not friends? What lead him to believe that? He needs answers and he will get them dammit! "I'm being serious, I see you as a ally."

The way Mishima suddenly went from joyful to emotionless was almost frightening "K-kurusu, please don't let me believe in such things. I-it's less painful that way...."

"Mishima I'm telling you the truth, why won't you believe me?" Akira can feel his frustration growing, he can't let him have a palace, it would only make things more difficult for them to deal with in the long run and the phansite would be in jeopardy without it's admin. Everyone else may have screwed up and that's fine, he's the leader for gods sake, this should be nothing for him.

\--

"I'm telling you the truth, why won't you believe me?"

Mishima resisted the urge to shake from the chill that went down his spine. Kurusu is definitely upset with him, but he can't lie to him. Considering everything they went through, he knows quite well that they aren't friends. He's his savior from the hell that is his life while he himself is nothing but a mere servant to them. Why is he saying that they're friends all of a sudden?

**Isn't it obvious? You've been stepping out of line lately, so he's giving you sugar coated words to make sure you don't do something stupid! You are in no place to argue! Accept his humble words and make up for it you swine!**

"A-ah you're right, how silly of me, o-of course we're friends. I-it's definitely not because I-I run the phansite or anything, hehe."he forces out a chuckle.

Kurusu's look softened before he sighed and got up. "Mishima it's more than that I assure you, why don't I make us some coffee and we can talk about it okay?"

"K-kurusu-"

"It's Akira, Mishima."

"R-right Akira, you really don't have to get me anything I'm f-fine-"

"Sit down and watch Morgana."

Never one to go against a direct order Mishima did as he was told watching Kurusu disappear into the back for what he can most likely assume was extra ingredients. He turned towards Morgana who looked at him with a oddly expectant look before letting out a soft meow. He let out a gentle smile and petted him some more. "Kurusu must really enjoy your company if he carries you around everywhere." Morganas ears flattened against his head with a concerned meow making him chuckle "You're so adorable, if I remember correctly you're a tuxedo cat breed. Never really come across those much, it's probably not even the true name of your breed, but a fun nickname at least." Mishima proceeded to look at the meowing cat, he could almost swear it was trying to talk to him. "I wish Kurusu loved and cared for me as much as he did you, maybe then I'd have more purpose in my life..."

Morgana meowed at him once more before Mishima took out his phone and checked the site, his breath hitched seeing that the bot Futaba had installed was doing even more work than it was initially. "At this rate I'll become obsolete. What am I gonna do? I can't deny help from a phantom thief, but if this takes over my purpose I...." Mishima didn't even realize that the hand he was using to pet Morgana was now shaking with his breathing becoming more ragged.

\--

To say Morgana was concerned for the admin of the phansite would be a understatement. He can feel the poor boy's grip on his back tighten yet shaken from just getting into his own head. Did he honestly think Futaba was replacing him? He has to admit Futaba would manage the site with ease but it seemed to be something Akiras friend really cares about. He knows very well that Akira would never take that away from him, and neither would the rest of the thieves. 

He snapped out of his thoughts when he noticed Mishima began hyperventilating, withdrawing his hands and legs curling himself up into a ball in a futile attempt to calm himself down. Morgana wasn't really one for situations like this and tried to think quick on his feet,(or uh, paws) trying to call out to him. "Hey kid! Come on calm down it's alright you did nothing wrong!"

"God even the cat is fed up with me" he grumbles trying to keep himself from having a panic attack. Crap, he forgot Mishima doesn't understand him and is only hearing meows. Okay what can he do to help him _ as a freaking cat. _

He then perks up with his ears pointing towards the ceiling remembering something Akira once mentioned reading a book about pets. With that in mind he quickly leaped onto Mishimas lap and began purring. For some reasons a cats purring tends to calm humans down. He doesn't understand how it works but anything is better then continuing to see someone about to have a mental breakdown in front of him.

Much to his relief Mishima slowly snapped out of it seeing Morgana on his lap. He slowly went back to petting him making the cat purr even louder. He couldn't help but smile at the bundle of fur slowly forgetting about what made him panic so much. Noticing the smile Morgana sighs relaxed, mission accomplished. 

"Wow you two look comfy."

Both turn their heads to see Akira with coffee in his hands setting them down in front of the admin before relaxing back into his original spot on the booth. He has to tell Akira what happened the moment Mishima leaves, that little episode he just had was definitely not a good sign.

As for the admin himself, Mishima couldn't help but still feel anxious despite the purring cat in his lap. Not saying it didn't help, but all it's really doing is keeping him in check at this rate. He carefully went to sip his share of coffee, perfect posture and all just like Okumara did it. After a good amount of time went by he noticed Kurusu looking at him funny which made him grow anxious once more "S-Something wrong?"

"What's with the formalities? You're not having a tea party with the queen, relax." he said to him placing his own cup down.

"I-I'm sorry, would you like me to stop?" he delicately placed his hands over his lap now that Morgana has got off of it and was back by Kurusu's side.

"Is that what you want to do? You don't have to have everything approved by me you know, you're your own person."

"....No, I'm not Kurusu" he noticed the raven haired thief freeze at the statement but decided he should continue" I am nothing, a zero. After everything that happened with Kamoshida, I accepted what I am with his constant abuse. You freed me and many others from all of it, I am indebted to you, and it was wrong of me to try and be known for something I never did. I owe you and the rest of the thieves my life. So you can ask and do whatever you want of me, my worth is entirely up to you." he'll admit that he sounded a little desperate, but he needs to make clear how grateful he is to them.

Akira was trying his best to not go over the table, grab Mishima, and scream in his face how horrible this mindset was. He's well aware what that kind of mentality will get someone, but how is he suppose to tell him that everything he believes in is wrong and getting out of hand? Thinking back on it he regrets not dealing with Mishimas shadow. Sure it might have been upsetting and he would've felt a hint of guilt for doing it, but it would've been better then letting all of....this, happen. If he keeps it up, not only will he be down an ally, but the phansite will be forced under new management. Futaba has only so much time in her hands, he can't place that burden on her. There has to be a way to lay it down gently in a way he can understand. "Mishima I don't want you to worship the ground we walk on, I just need you to run the phansite, that's it. You really don't have to do all of this, it's unnecessary."

".....Have I upset you?"

"Huh?"

"D-did I do something wrong?" he started to curl into himself once more "Was my p-performance not to your satisfaction? I'm doing the best I c-can with the phansite and appeasing all of the phantom thieves. Was I being to clingy? D-do you all just want me t-to go away? I-if you want I can m-make that happen. W-we can just text about targets on phone a-and that's all you'll ever hear of me I promise! P-please just don't replace me!" he begged groveling onto the table.

Akira couldn't calm his inner panic soon enough "Wait wait I never said I was gonna replace you! I just wanted you to run the site!"

"I-I'll do exactly that! In fact, I-I'll go right now and you won't see my gross f-face ever again!" Mishima soon began to stand up and attempt to leave "I-I'm sorry!"

Morgana meows in surprise before quickly trying to get in front of the admins feet to block him. Akira would need to thank the cat for that later but right now there was more pressing matters. He quickly followed suit grabbing Mishimas wrist so he wouldn't get anywhere but was soon met with him struggling to get out of his grip. "For gods sake Mishima stop doing all of this you're only making things worse!"

**You hear that? No matter what you do it only leads to more problems. Why don't you do yourself a favor and stop being you? All you can do is make things worse.**

He started to mutter to himself "M-make things worse...?"

** Make. Things. Worse.**

"K-kurusu let me do what I was meant to do!" he begged once more struggling even harder. He can't take this anymore, the longer he stayed the more opportunities he had to show how incompetent he actually is.

"I can't let you leave like this! You're only spiraling and we can't have that!" Akira was firm on his grip refusing to let go. It was not suppose to go like this, the last thing he wanted was to have to fight Mishima just so he doesn't run away again.

"Kurusu please!" tears started welling up in his eyes and he started to thrash around violently at this point.

"For fucks sake just calm down and talk to me!"

"KURUSU!!!"

"MISHIMA-AH! SHIT!" he cursed out when Mishima accidentally knocked over his coffee on to Akiras clothes mid thrash with another tea cup on the floor in pieces. Akira finally lets go causing the smaller boy to fall flat on his butt in shock seeing his savior hiss and pat down the stains with the napkins on the table "Fuck that's hot. I'm seriously gonna need to bring this to the laundromat."

Akira failed to notice the look of terror that grew on Mishimas face. He spilled coffee all over the very person he worshiped. He had burden him with his presence and he can't take back what he had done. His body began shaking violently, his mind started swarming with darker and darker thoughts, he felt the numbness slowly spread throughout his body. How is he gonna fix this?

**YOU ABSOLUTE FAILURE. DO YOU REALLY THINK THERE'S ANYWAY TO FIX THIS!? ALL YOU ARE IS A BURDEN AND A ZERO THAT WILL FOREVER PLAGUE THE PHANTOM THIEVES. YOU DESERVED PUNISHMENT OF THE FINEST DEGREE TO ATONE FOR YOU ATROCIOUS SINS!!!!**

Punishment. Yes, he deserves the cruelest punishment for what he's done. There's no way he can face the thieves ever again, not when he's practically a walking bad omen.

Akira had finally manage to cool down the stains a little and looked up to see Mishima pale as a ghost staring at him. He followed his line of sight to the coffee stains and froze. Oh no. This is not good. He tried his best to carefully step closer to the boy as if he was a prey animal "Now now Mishima it's alright, it's just a simple stain that can get cleaned. I'm not mad-No wait don't go!!" he soon shouted when Mishima bolted out the door and down the street, completely out of sight. Akira sighs and sat back in the both leaning his head against the wall. It couldn't have gone any more horribly then it already did.

Morgana leaped back onto the counter with a concerned look "You okay?"

"Honestly, no. I could've handled that so much better but I didn't...."

"You need to gather the others Akira. I think it's time." he solemnly said with his ears flat against his head and tail dragging

"Morgana no we can still fix this. I...I,can fix this. We just need to try again and learn from last time-"

"Joker."

Akira froze at the mention of his alter ego, even though he hated to admit it, he knew deep down Morgana was right. Not only do they not have the right means to do this, but they're on a huge time limit. Another round of hang outs was a no go, especially with Mishima claiming that he'll avoid physical contact with them from here on out so he doesn't "burden" them. "I can't do this Morgana. He can't have one. He _shouldn't_ have one. Not like this..."

"We have no other options. I don't like it as much as you do but we need answers, and you're well aware what we need to do to get them."

He sighs mentally and physically exhausted from the events of today. Regardless, he took out his phone and began to message the group chat, he had to do this. Whether he liked it or not.

\--

Mishima managed to get back home in quicker time then he could've possibly imagined. He didn't even bother to greet his parents if they were home (they never were anyways, and it's not like they would care) as he entered the house and took off his shoes bolting up the stairs soon after. When he got inside and slammed the door to his room shut he finally dropped his phone, wallet, and keys on the desk before collapsing against the side of his bed bursting into tears. He screwed up so badly. No, it's worse, he ruined any sliver of a positive relationship he could ever have with his saviors. Even when he changed himself exactly as they wanted he still somehow managed to fuck it up. He curled himself into the fetal position in a attempt to muffle his tears and broken sobs but it poured endlessly like a waterfall. Was he just too broken to be fixed? Is there nothing out there that can make him any different then he is now? What can he do to possibly repent? 

**Get up. You still need to be punished, rightfully so.**

He let out a small gasp hearing the thoughts give him such a direct order. Then again, who is he to go against it? It always knew best, but how will he be punished?

**You know how, remember the pain. You know where the required tools are, go get them and give yourself the punishment you rightfully deserve.**

"Y-yes. I will..." muttering to himself barely above a whisper he slowly stood up and dragged himself to the bathroom. Opening the door and turning on the lights his eyes square in on the cabnit underneath the sink. He carefully opens the cabnit doors and searches in the back of the space for what he needed. The moment he came in contact with it his breath hitched. He found them.

Taking them out it revealed to be a little case of razor blades. His father liked a certain brand for his razor so he buys the replacements for when the blades get dull. Taking them out with such gentleness and care he inspected them carefully. Unused and sharp to the touch, no wonder his father liked them so much. 

He sat on the bathroom floor leaning the upper half of his body over the tub with a hesitant look at the object in his hand. He thought back to the glass shards that impaled his hands when he had the cafe visit with Okumara and Futaba. It was so painful, blood was all over his hands and leaking down his arms. He felt so many things that day. Pain, sorrow, guilt, regret, numbness, discomfort. Though there was one emotion he didn't really notice he had until now.

_The rush_

It was there, but all of the other emotions overwhelmed him at the time. The adrenaline spike that was so painful yet rightfully deserved. Going on a high only for it to be ripped away soon after, it would be a suiting punishment.... 

**Do it. Your punishment can not be given soon enough**

With the thought solidifying in his head, Mishima thought back to all of the hang outs he had, and the shame it brought to him. He was suppose to be a good little servant, but all he did was disobey and make a fool of himself embarrassing the others. With a shaky hand he brought the blade towards his arms, and counted all of his sins one by one. "For going against Takamaki's recommendations." without hesitation he slashed at his arm with a short streak, blood already starting to flow. 

"For not listening to Nijima who's clearly superior to me." 

Slash 

"For thinking I can even compete with Sakamoto." 

Slash 

"For thinking even a millisecond Futaba can't replace me like nothing." 

Slash. His breath began to quicken. 

"For ruining Harus precious tea time." 

Slash Slash 

"For going against being a subject of Yusukes desires in the arts!" 

Slash Slash 

"For even having my filthy presence in front of the detective prince himself!!" 

Slash Slash Slash 

"For being a disgrace and burden to Kurusu!!!!" 

Slashslashslashslashslash 

"FOR EXISTING IN A WORLD I WASN'T MEANT TO EXIST!!!" At the point he kept cutting and cutting both of his arms till the forearms were practically covered in blood. It took feeling faint from the sudden blood loss did he realize the mess he made. He watched the blood drip down his arms and mix with the tears that landed in the tub. He wish he could feel disgusted about what he did, but all he felt was pain and numbness. 

**A suitable punishment for a worthless peasant like you. Now clean yourself up you filthy swine.**

Not even bothering to respond to the thought he slowly got up (took a while to keep himself balanced from everything that just happened) and took out the medical kit stowed away in the cabnit as well patching up his wounds. 

By the time he cleaned everything up and got rid of any evidence that showed what he did, it was already midnight with his arms heavily bandaged and mind incredibly void of anything. It was a chore getting through his usual night routine and a struggle to even put his pajamas on. He couldn't even muster the energy to check on the site before collapsing into bed and falling asleep. 


	9. Mishimas Palace

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Phantom Thieves can no longer avoid the truth.

It was night by the time the whole group gathered around in Leblanc. Makoto and Haru sat by the bar, Yusuke, Ann, and Ryuji were sitting in the booths, Futaba sitting on the booth behind it peeking over to theirs, with Akira and Akechi choosing to stand beside the bar. All of them had a melancholic look on their face, not looking forward to what they had to inevitably discuss. They all knew why they were here, Akira even told them through the group chat, but no one seemed willing to start things off.

All except Ryuji who sighed knowing someone had to rip the band-aid off sooner or later "We effed up. We majorly effed up."

Ann grew a more frustrated look finally looking up with her glare directed at the fellow blonde "Way to state the obvious! Not exactly helpful!"

"Oh I'm sorry were you gonna say something!?" he immediately grew defensive refusing to take any more crap.

"Guys not now, we have to discuss the elephant in the room." Makoto quickly began before things escalated "If what we've been telling each other the pass few days have been true, along with Akira's summary of what happened earlier today, our plan has backfired majorly."

"Instead of making Mishima feel better and more included we somehow outcasted and made him feel worse about himself. What did we do wrong?" Haru asked herself more than the group. 

"I don't believe any of us truly know the answers, the closest I can fathom is the incidents he had during all of our meetings. Though nothing really went horribly wrong with the gathering of Akechi's and I." Yusuke informed.

"But it didn't go well either, he was completely uncomfortable around us. In his perspective we were most likely royalty that he should not be around. He was trying so hard for our approval that there was no possible way he had enjoyed himself throughout the escapade at all." Akechi rebutted with a tired look in his eyes.

"Well it's not like I really went out of my way to make him feel better, he somehow looked more stressed when I was showing off my tech. Doesn't he usually like that stuff?" Futaba asked directing her look towards Akira.

"He does, I don't know why he even got tense around you, none of this makes any sense. Hell, he basically had a panic attack when he spilled coffee on me and I just...let him go. It most likely wasn't the right thing to do but I didn't know what else to say to him that wouldn't make things worse."

Morgana looks down almost sulking"Well regardless of everything that's happened, I think we all know the next step we need to take. Clearly our original plan was a bust, and if we made him worse..."

The cat didn't need to finish the sentence to know what he was implying. Ryuji slowly took out his phone staring at the screen. All eyes were on him as he pressed the metanav with a shaky thumb. Akira's eyes narrowed turning his whole body to him. "Ryuji don't you dare."

"We have no other choice man. There's already a shadow of him so who's to say he doesn't have a-"

"I said NO. We don't have to do this, there has to be another way. Mishima isn't like that he can't possibly have a desire deep enough to-"

"You think this any easier for the rest of us!? Ann and I knew him just as well as you did! I can't stand the idea of the little guy having one either but we have to do what's got to be done dammit!" Ryuji slammed the table with his fist to accentuate his point having a pained look on his face that they knew wasn't from the table.

"Guys we can't start arguing with each other it'll only further divide us!" Haru tried to reason. 

"Look maybe we should slow things down and see if we really have to-" Makoto tried to speak up.

"Yuuki Mishima."

"RYUJI!" Akira shouted.

"Candidate found."

After the robotic voices sentence everyone froze. That was it, that solidified their fears and upcoming battle they had to face. Everyone began to have a look of pain or despair on their face with the exception of Akechi who once again kept cool. Akira felt his hand grip the wooden bar table with surprising strength. "Dammit. Dammit. Dammit!" 

The thieves looked at Akira with a saddened look. Their leader has almost never lost composure, and to think that this would be his breaking point. After a few minutes he took deep breaths to calm himself before looking at the others. "Well, what do you all want to do now?"

"I suggest we leave it." Akechi stated flatly which surprised the others. "While I do understand he is an ally of yours we have much more important tasks at hand. Regardless if we already established Sae's route we still need to prepare for whatever may come. Last thing we want to do is to brashly enter another palace out of emotion for the owner rather than going about it logically.

"We can't ignore it, Mishima is the admin of the phansite. If he's like this than the site will go down with him, which will cause our reputation and moral to worsen. People like him is who we swore to protect and save, we can't go back on our word simply because it's not convenient for us." Akira snapped back.

"If the phansite is an issue Futaba can just as easily run it if not even greater then he can. As for his current mental state just have him see a therapist, he's not necessarily hurting others and the majority of his problems stem from his own lack of self. He'll last just fine without us intervening." Akechi nonchalantly spoke firm on his stance.

"That's what I thought when I initially confronted his shadow, and look where that got us." Akira bitterly chuckled "Just because you don't care about him doesn't mean none of us do."

"And just because you want to fix your mistake doesn't mean you have to drag us all with it."

"Guys that's enough. Clearly we're not in a unanimous vote on whether we handle Mishima's palace or not." Makoto turns to Akechi with her neutral expression "Akechi, what were you gonna propose we do instead."

"I wasn't claiming that we don't touch his palace at all, but rather we leave it till after we handle Sae's palace completely. We have no time limit for this one and he's not really that important of a target. All of this talk about going in as soon as possible is simply because you know him personally and nothing more."

"It's much more than that man" Ryuji sighs leaning his arms against the table "We owe it to him for screwing everything up. He wouldn't be this way if we considered him a little more. Sides' this is Mishima we're talking about, as we all saw he clearly praises the ground we walk on so he shouldn't put too much of a fight taking his treasure."

Yusuke nodded "That is true, he's our ally after all. There's a good chance that if we go in he won't even perceive us as threats."

"Ooohhh in that case it's almost like a speed run! We go in, get the loot, and get out! It'll be a breeze for us!" Futaba hums.

"Even if it isn't that easy I still believe with our current skills we can achieve our goal in no time. Almost like a side mission." Haru added with more optimism. 

Ann finished eating her snack before looking back up at them "To be honest Akechi don't you want to get it over with so none of us have to worry about it later? I know I would." 

"Lady Ann does have a point, it would be better to knock it out while we're waiting to send the calling card rather than wait for the unpredictable future." Morgana agreed with a tail sway.

Akira turns back to Akechi "Well then, seems like the team knows where they stand, what will it be?"

Akechi looked at the determined looks between all of them, and sighs knowing he was fighting a loosing battle "Alright, I guess you all make valid points. Though lets do this as quickly and efficiently as possible. If it's as easy as you all say then it should take us less than three days to complete it."

"Then it's unanimous, next order of business, finding the keywords." Makoto sighed.

"I feel like it should be obvious the phansite is the location. He's always on it every time we see him." Ryuji said.

"Candidate found."

"I'll pull the site up so we can travel through" Futaba quickly stated opening up the site as the others continued on.

"Alright, now all we need is what he perceives it as." Haru thought out loud.

"Well didn't he want to get famous from our group? How about a theater?" Ann suggested.

"No candidates found."

"That was his old cognition, he's completely different from the one we originally saw. " Akira sighs.

"So what would his new cognition be?" Ryuji blinks.

"Wait....doesn't Mishima usually call us his 'saviors' whenever we talk to him?" Akechi inquired.

"Saviors." Yusuke went into thought before his eyes shot open in realization "You're right, he also mentions how unworthy he is to be in our presence and that he would 'serve' us."

"So to put it simply, you could say he worships us." Futaba spoke up catching on to what the group was laying down. "And where would you go for a place of worship?"

Akira went over to Ryujis phone and held it in his hand focusing solely on the screen. "A church is too simple, so I'm gonna say cathedral."

"Beginning navigation."

Everyone perked up at the familiar phrase before Akira took deep breathes "It's now or never, let's do this."

The world began to distort and change around them as they traveled to the alternate world.

\--

The group eventually escaped the distortion before looking around the area. They frown seeing that the area looked relatively normal.

"We're in the palace right?" Ann asked.

"Judging by my readings we are in the area." Futaba confirmed.

Makoto put a hand to her chin"Maybe it's like sis palace, we just have to look around for a bit. Futaba lead the way."

"On it!"

The group followed Futabas directions which they soon realized lead them outside of the district and into a open landscape that seemed like there was no presence for miles on end. After a couple minutes of walking they perked up seeing a building up ahead.

"That must be it, so it seems Mishima prefers his palace in a isolated area from the general public." Akechi deduced. 

Futaba looks down "Just like mine..."

Akira pats her back "It's alright, we're going to save him one way or another."

"We should proceed, if we take Morgana we'll be there in less than three minutes." Yusuke said.

"Roger that!" Morgana chirps before going into bus mode. "Hop in, we got work to do!"

Everyone went in the bus with Makoto driving as they went closer to the palace. Upon closer inspection they gasp seeing the giant cathedral that almost looked more like a tower that watches over the entire land. It even had a subtle color palate of the phantom thieves with a bell on the very top.

"Whoa man, for real?" Ryuji said with wide eyes.

"It's nothing I've ever seen." Haru said in awe.

"To think that someone so meek and small could think up something this grand. I'm quite impressed."Akechi couldn't help but agree.

"Imagine what's inside. We need to be prepared for whatever may come." Akira spoke taking his role as leader "It's a good thing we're not seen as threats so far, hopefully it can stay that way." 

"Agreed, everyone brace yourselves, we're here." Makoto stopped the car.

Once she did everyone got out as Morgana turned back into his normal self. They looked at the entrance which looked like standard doors with a simple garden around the front. When Haru noticed the gardens flowers she gasps. 

"Is something wrong?" Akira asked.

"Joker, remember when we talked with each other about flowers and their meanings when you helped me with the garden at the entrance of the school?"

"Yeah I remember, why?"

"Look at the flowers that are planted here, notice anything?"

Upon closer inspection Akiras eyes widened recognizing each and every one of them. "All of these flowers have negative meanings. Not one symbolizes anything positive. Does that mean he heard our conversation?"

"It must be, why else use these specific flowers?"

Ryuji went up to them "Uh look I don't really get this flower speech and everything but why is it so important?"

"It means Mishima has been listening. On purpose or not he most likely heard the majority of our conversations...and how I've been turning him down to hang out with the rest of you." Akira sighs covering his eyes in shame "I'm just hoping he didn't eavesdrop on all of the hang outs I did the past few weeks."

Akechi went up to Akira putting a hand on his shoulder "Now's not the time to get caught up in this, we're here on a mission right? Lets head inside."

Akira uncovered his eyes and grew determined. "You're right, lets head in."

The team nods in confirmation before entering the double doors and heading inside. It almost looked like a normal cathedral interior if it wasn't for the giant screen hanging on the wall in front of the podium which depicted the phansite, and a small figure in front of said podium doing something that was completely engrossing them of any other distractions.

"Joker how shall we proceed?" Yusuke asks.

"The only way we currently have, forward."

They nodded in agreement before they walked up to the podium. Upon closer inspection the figure was in a horrible state currently organizing some papers in his hands. When he heard the approaching footsteps he gasps and turns around.

The phantom thieves were in horror seeing that right in front of them was none other than Mishima's shadow, but he looked worse off then he's ever been. Muddied hair, shredded clothes that looked as if it hadn't been washed in years, a just as dirty apron tied around his waist that was drooping to one side exposing a little of his hip, bandages all around his body that were obviously soaked in and weren't changed any time soon, scars and gashes ran along his arms and legs, but the most terrifying thing about the horrendous appearance, was the noose loosely resting around his neck and the slit wrists on the lower arms that were most likely self inflicted. The meek boy immediately looked alarmed seeing them "W-what are you doing here?"

Akira carefully walked closer to him as if one were to approach a frightened bunny and spoke in the most gentle voice possible "Mishima, listen to me, we're here to make you feel better. If you'll just take us to the treasure everything will be okay. We're not going to hurt you."

Despite the soothing tone in his words the shadow backed up and paled "...T-this is a change of heart....i-isn't it!?"

Makoto decided to assist Akira "Mishima it may look bad but we just want to help. It will be over before you know it with your cooperation-No wait!"

Before she could finished the frightened shadow immediately ran to the back door muttering something about "telling the bishop" before slamming it shut locking it behind him.

They all sigh regrouping with Makoto and Akira before Ryuji spoke in a almost pout "Well that didn't work out so smoothly." It was then that they noticed their clothes changed to their phantom thief attire "And now we're a threat, great." he grumbles

"I suspected this could happen, how should we approach this now?" Crow inquired.

Joker tapped into his third eye ability and perked up seeing the vent not to far away from the door "Through there, we can get an overlay of what's behind the door with no detection."With that said Joker hopped into the vent first with the rest of the thieves following soon after.

It took Oracle a few minutes to get the layout of the palace but once she did they were able to make the proper turns to follow Shadow Mishimas footsteps. 

Panther groaned when Noir got smacked onto her backside again for the fifth time that day. Ignoring the apologies Noir kept muttering after each time she turned to the front "Joker do you see an exit yet? I'm pretty sure we would all like to get out soon before we all have our faces in each others butts. No offense Noir."

"I-It's fine, but Panther has a point, have we reached our destination yet? We've been in these vents for longer then we usually do." Noir couldn't help but agree.

"I know this is aggravating for all of you but I want to see how far we can follow Mishima in these vents. While it's not the most pleasant way of tailing it is the most secure and discreet. Besides, I have Crow behind me, last thing I want is for his pointy mask to be my new painful as all hell dildo." Joker huffed at the last sentence before he kept crawling.

Crow looked at him as if he personally offended him, which he might as well have "First of all you can turn off the crude language, and secondly it's not pleasant on my end either. You know how many times I had to stop myself from falling face first onto your behind because of your sudden halting?"

Queen sighs peeking over Skull and Fox to see Crow "To be fair Crow we're tailing someone in the vents, not simply trying to get to another location. I'm guessing he's halting because Mishima is."

"Perceptive as ever Queen, from what I can tell his shadow is very weak and would sometimes slow down to catch his breath. It's as if his stamina ranges from a sprint to borderline passing out. Also you know damn well you like looking at my ass" Joker said with a smirk already going back to his cocky persona which earned a eye roll from Crow.

"Yeah while it's nice being discreet and all can we get it moving! Fox got a face full of my ass at least three times and I'm starting to think he's enjoying it!" Skull hissed out.

Fox looks at him and spoke bluntly "Well to be fair Skull you do have a very defined rear end-"

"Stop it!!!!" Skull groaned.

"So while you guys were talking about each others butts I located Mishima and he finally stops in the next room over." Oracle deadpans.

All of them grew flustered with the exception of Mona (who looked like he wanted to be anywhere but here) before Joker lead them to the next room. 

They were finally able to get out of the vent, which Skull almost screamed "freedom!!!" over but Panther quickly hushed him up. They spotted Mishima waiting in front of a door that was about to open which they took as their cue to hide behind the couch. When the door slammed open out came seven figures who wasted no time surrounding the boy. Though in their opinion, it looked more like they're circling their prey rather then the palace owner. 

From what little they can see in their spots, Queen softly gasps "Wait, it can't possibly be...?"

"Oh my god..." Panther whispered in shock.

All around Mishimas Shadow were the Phantom Thieves, with oddly enough the exception of Joker and Mona. None of them looked pleased in the slightest to see the admin with the cognition of Skull speaking up first "This better be good if you're bothering our busy schedules. I don't like dealing with unnecessary bullshit you dig?" he said with a very intimidating tone in his voice.

"Is that how Mishima thinks I sound...?" Skull asks disheartened. 

Crow shook his head "Don't let it bother you too much Skull, it applies to the rest of us as well. I believe it will be important to learn this information."

They begrudgingly nodded proceeding to eavesdrop. 

"I-I must meet with the bishop urgently! T-the news s-simply can not wait!" Mishimas shadow groveled as if it was second nature.

Queen noticed her cognition bend over to look the boy in the eyes, as if piercing through his soul to see if he really was telling the truth. She couldn't help but feel an unease as the cognition hummed "It seems you speak the truth, very well, you may speak to him. Although you know the routine you must do in order to even be in his presence." she hissed.

"Y-yes yes of course."

"Oh, and don't forget to stop by my area. I want my snacks and spare parts brought to me as I work." Oracle's cognition demanded.

"A-as you wish."

Noir's cognition smacks him upside the head making him yelp "Don't forgot our scheduled tea time. I refuse to send you to the bishop without any improvement on your abysmal etiquette."

"I-I would never. I-I'll meet you there on time a-as usual."

The Fox cognition huffs "I highly doubt he would be punctual due to how angular and horrific his body and mind is. Though if we must it can't be helped."

Mishima was about to speak up to that but one look from Crow's cognition immediately silenced him with his head bowed.

"Alright everyone, lets get moving. There is no slacking when it comes to meeting the bishop." Panthers cognition said with the clap of her hands before everyone dispersed with the cognition of Skull staying behind.

He turns to Mishima before grabbing his wrist with a iron grip that made the smaller boy yelp in pain before he was dragged and pulled upstairs where they heard another door slam shut. 

The thieves came out of their hiding spots and looked at each other.

"Why are we so horrible in his eyes...?" Panther couldn't help but ask.

Skull kicked the imaginary dirt off the ground sulking "We sounded like the people we find in these damn palaces..."

Queen looks down "While it is heartbreaking to be viewed in such a way, that conversation, the way Mishima's shadow looks, and the attitude he has, tells us that likes Futaba's palace he has no control over what happens here." she spoke with her more natural tone at the end.

Joker looked at the door the two left in "What confused me was why Mona and I weren't with the group."

"Both of you must be somewhere else or busy at the moment. Considering he has cognitions of the rest of us, you're bound to have one as well." Fox conquered.

Oracle was already getting the layout of the place as she spoke "There seems to be ten floors to this thing including the rooftop. We can worry about how Mishima thinks of us later, for now I suggest we get going before we're detected."

"She's right, there's no point standing around mulling over things when there's work to be done." Crow reaffirmed.

Joker turned to his team with new determination on his face.

"Alright then, lets go."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> we're officially inside the palace everyone! Took a little bit of build up to get here but it happened! So yeah stick around for when they start exploring the place!


	10. Cognitive Ryuji and Ann

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Following Mishimas Shadow would soon lead the Thieves into finding out more then they would've desired.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I guess if you want some reference music while reading here's some
> 
> Ryujis theme:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cvp9j71EHNY&list=PLeu5SH6jnwKfvNjfDLh7p8J4XlIPtj5BR&index=11  
Anns theme:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_bTTQ20deQM&list=PLeu5SH6jnwKfvNjfDLh7p8J4XlIPtj5BR&index=12
> 
> It's something the thieves will faintly hear but don't pay much mind to it.

The Phantom Thieves were currently tailing Mishimas shadow and his cognition of Ryuji. It was all too uncomfortable for them to watch. Some of them couldn't help but wince over how harshly the cognition was yanking Mishimas arm to follow him, he was definitely gonna leave bruises behind.

They see Ryuji drop Mishima to the ground making him yelp and rub his sore arm trying to recover. "Wait here you little runt, I need to get something."

Mishima tried to follow the cognition inside but quite literally got the door slammed on his face causing him to let out another shriek of pain holding his nose.

Skull turned towards the rest of the group in a attempt to distract himself from what he saw. "He's alone, should we confront him now?"

Crow shook his head as he spoke "I'd heavily advise against that. Not only is it too little of a time frame but we're not sure what he's exactly capable of."

Panther looks down with a saddened look in her eyes "Does he really look like he does much? I mean his cognitions of us are..."

"We can't focus on that right now, it's painful I know, but we're better off eavesdropping. Maybe if we get a feel of everyone else we can decide what our next course of action will be." Queen quickly explained.

"Alright then, we'll stick to staying undercover. Oracle, try to see if you can scan this floor and find a route to the treasure." Joker ordered.

"Way ahead of you, apparently the treasure is somewhere in the upper floors of this cathedral." Oracle informs while scanning the place.

Morgana crossed his arms "Yeah I can sense the distance as well. There has to be a stairway or elevator to proceed upward that we haven't seen yet."

"Considering the feel of this place I would most likely think it would be a stairway." Noir chimed in "Perhaps Mishima's Shadow will lead us to it eventually."

Fox began to think out loud "He was gonna warn a higher up about us, so that would have to be his intention."

"Guys Skull's cognition is coming back out!" Panther loudly whispered.

At her warning they hid more into the shadows as the cognition came back out. Finally being close enough they got a full view of what he looked like. He looked like Skull for the most part, but at the same time looked wrong. The tattered and ripped up red scarf, the knee and elbow pads had spikes, his belt and collar more sharper looking, his gloves looked more like claws, and the mask had the canines look even larger and sharper. Most likely to match with his own set of teeth which looked like that of a shark, with messy hair and an intimidating glare to complete the look. Despite his frightening appearance Mishima was at his side in no time "W-what did you get?"

"The keys dumbass what else? Anyways you can't go to the archbishop looking like that!" he huffs gesturing to Mishima in general. "I can't stand lookin' at your puny pathetic ass!" he then proceeded to grumble grabbing his wrist and yanking him down the hallway beside the door he came out of. The Phantom Thieves quickly followed making sure not to loose sight.

It took little time before they reached a grand staircase that looked like it stretched on for an eternity. The scary-looking cognition proceeded to throw Mishima onto the stairway earning a shriek from the fragile boy and a wince from the group. "Alright you lil' shit you already know the drill. You're not allowed to visit the archbishop until you have your daily training! The way you look now is laughable! I bet I can throw you up in the air and you'll be blown away by the breeze!"

Mishima nods in submission "O-of course, I'll do my best-"

Ryuji grabs his already worn out shirt and pulls him up only to push him a few more steps towards the staircase forcefully "Less talking more training! I better see your ass on the top of this stairway!"

Before the exhausted shadow could speak the cognition already used an ability to teleport out of the area and most likely at the top of the stairs. Mishima let out a shaky breath before starting the long trek upwards.

The real Skull was resisting the urge to punch something in "Dammit...just god...dammit..!!! I would never do that to him! That's shit Kamoshida would've done-mph!"

Panther already had a hand over his mouth "Will you keep it down already, we don't understand why his cognition is like that either."

"In that case the rest of ours isn't gonna be that much better." Queen sighs.

"What concerns me is that we have yet to see Joker's cognition. Mona is understandable since he's just a cat but as for him..."Crow started.

Joker himself was quick to cut in "Now's not the time for such speculation, we need to keep pursuit of Mishima's shadow while he's unguarded."

Crow turns to him with a serious look" You're just saying this because you don't want to think about how he views you. Especially if this is how he views Skull." he spat with a tone that said he knew he was right.

Joker resisted the urge to smack him as he hissed back with a glare "Are you seriously starting this right now? Just because you don't care about what happens to him and see this whole endeavor as pointless, doesn't mean you should start a fight with us."

"I'm not starting a fight, the only reason I'm displeased with all of this is because you're all acting out of emotion. Let's be honest, what will change outside of Mishima if we were to change his heart?" he questioned loosing a little bit of his composure.

"Guys enough, we're gonna loose Mishima at this rate." Queen intervened seeing the shadow's slowly retreating figure.

Crow and Joker looked at each other before diffusing the tension with a sigh, as if the conversation never happened Joker stood up "Alright, lets get moving."

Upon ascending the long stairway they unsurprisingly ran into a few shadows, which oddly enough looked like priests and people of the church. Luckily they were standard level and didn't take too much time to defeat. Although, by the time they caught up with Mishima he was already at the top of the staircase looking alarmingly fatigued with the creepy look alike of Skull glaring down at him. "Hmph, you did better yesterday. Are you slacking on me right now? Because you know what happens when I believe you're slacking." he threatened.

"N-no no I swear to you I was pushing the best I c-could! I-It's just that it was cleaning day and I had to-" he soon shrieked when the cognition grabbed his arm and pulled it upwards forcing the admin to sit on his knees. He looked so lifeless, as if he was a ragdoll rather than a person.

"You're already puny looking as is with a heavy lower half, you're like a sack of fucking potatoes! You should be grateful I even waste my time training someone as hopeless as you since you're an embarrassment to even be around!"

The Phantom Thieves were trying their best to hold back the sickening feeling in their stomachs as the supposed palace ruler weakly sobs nodding his head in submission "Y-yes. I-I am forever grateful for even b-being trained by you..."

"Bullshit! You're a minute slower then your previous time, you know what comes next don' you?" his voice got lower and more menacing, feeling the intense aura he let out startled them and made Mishima somehow pale even more then he already is.

"P-please....n-not again...I can't keep up with training i-if I keep loosing-"

He yanks his arm up to eye level "Ah shut it! Normally I like to bite but I don' want to touch your disgustin' looking skin" he spat before pulling out a large razor blade. Joker and Panther actively had to hold Skull back as he watched the twisted version of himself make a giant slash across Mishimas arm making him scream. The cognition didn't even seem fazed with what he did before he threw Mishima to the entrance of the door they were nearby and left, ignoring the small whimpers the admin left behind.

Skull finally retreated more into their hiding spot shaking "I can't believe what I just saw man. I wanna beat the crap out of that other me!" he whisper shouted slamming the ground with his fist.

"Lashing out isn't going to get us anywhere, we must remain level headed about this." Fox reminded.

"Fox is right, we can't let our emotions get the better of us. We need to treat this like any other mission, no matter how painful it may be." Mona sighs keeping his eye on the quivering shadow trying to knock on the next door.

"Easy for you guys to say, you haven't known him as long as Panther, Joker, and I have. We went through shit with him and we were suppose to be a pack." Skull's look softened as he turns his gaze to the frail looking shadow "I don'....just where did we go wrong...?"

"If that's what you concerned about then the answer should lie within the depths of this place." Crow assured in a softer tone. "We must proceed. Someone's about to answer the door."

At the sound of said door they quickly return to their hiding spot seeing a woman walk up to Mishima with a click in her step due to her ink black stiletto boots. Upon closer inspection it revealed to be a twisted form of Panther much to the real ones horror.

"S-she looks so...evil."

Noir put her hand on her shoulder as a sign of comfort as the fake tsks at Mishima. Her muddied colored blonde pigtails swaying when she folded her arms covered in upper length black gloves with a red striped across her chest. The chest itself having a crosshair as coverage with a metal hoop attached to the choker. The only fully revealed skin being her shoulders. "I see you disappointed Ryuji in your workout regimen. Get up, we're gonna get you ready for his presence." she instructed him as if she would rather be doing anything else but what she's doing right now. The black yet red handle whip clutched tightly in her hand begging to be used in some destructive manner.

Mishima slowly got up and walked into the room muttering a "Yes lady Ann." in his wake before said cognition walked after him slamming the door behind her. They got out of their hiding spots with Panther looking frustrated.

"We've only seen my double for barely a minute and she already pisses me the hell off." she huffs.

"Shall we proceed? The path is relatively clear with the cognition and shadow distracted. Judging by the way the cognition's talk about him so far, the treasure must be with the archbishop of this place." Crow deduced.

"He's not wrong you know" Oracle says inspecting the data "I finished scanning the palace and the treasure is at the top of this place, so in reality we could keep going-"

"See? All this stopping to watch what Mishima thinks of you is a waste of time and energy-"

"but I'd honestly think it's better we don't."

Crow turned to her surprised along with everyone else as Queen decided to ask the unspoken question "What do you mean it's better we don't continue without him?"

"We don't have a map so he's our only guide as a starter, "Oracle huffed out "But the top floor to the archbishop is letting off a completely different aura compared to the rest of the floors. If we let Mishima go in first we'll have a better idea of what to expect."

Fox put a hand under his chin in thought "I guess that is a rather solid reason, but wouldn't that require us to wait out here the entire time until Panther's cognition is done with him?"

"That wouldn't work either" Mona interrupted. "I say we take this opportunity to watch how he communicates with the cognition. Because knowing our luck, we might end up interacting with them eventually. It's better to be overly prepared then under."

"You do have a point. The more we know the better our odds, but how do we get into the room undetected?" Noir asks.

"There's a vent up there" Joker gestured to the one not too far away from the door.

Skull groans at the mention of it"For the love of god more vents? Please don't tell me we have to stay in there the entire time again?"

"That vent should be a normal one, if anything there's still furniture we can hide behind in the room" Oracle reassured.

Fox grew a determined look on his face "Well then what are we waiting for? Let us proceed." They nod and all climbed through the vent.

When they peaked through the other side the first thing they noticed was the wardrobes and sofas that they took immediate action into hiding behind. When they got in their proper spots they peaked out and saw a large makeup studio with a bathroom attached to the other side of the room. All decked out with any soaps, shampoos, conditioners, moisturizers, and skin care you can think of. It simply all looked luxurious. When they heard the sound of running water they turn their eyes towards the bath tub which had Mishima standing off to the side looking insecure judging by the way he was holding himself. The cognition readying the water pouring salts and soap in the large bath tub.

"C-can you at least look away...?" the admin stutters out.

Ann huffs "What you think there's something worth while to look at with your sorry ass? Shut up and get in the damn tub. We need to get as much filth out of you as possible. Well at least outwardly wise, only so much can be done with someone as hopeless as you" she smirked.

Mishima sighs and reluctantly started stripping his sorry excuse of clothing.

Which of course made the Thieves briefly look away for modesty sake with the exception of Oracle who couldn't help but look on in curiosity. "Ah so the nature of the male form will soon be revealed-hey!"she quietly yelped out when Joker put a hand over her eyes.

"First of all, you're too young to see a guy naked. Secondly, it's not the real Mishima so it's not like it's completely accurate. Lastly, do you really want to see it this way out of all the possible ways you could have?" he lightly scolded.

Oracle grumbles but stood down "Yeah you have a point, besides it's not like he wants us to see him like this anyways. I'm just curious, I can be curious can't I?"

"Well maybe ask the real Mishima and see what goes from there." Crow sighs.

"Ew gross no I'm not resorting to asking for it." she huffs.

Joker and the others resisted the urge to facepalm before they noticed the rags called clothing on the bathroom floor long forgotten and the shadow in the bath with a tired and distant look on his face. The cognition immediately went to work putting on cleaning gloves and dumping some fruity shampoo that irritated Mishima's nose before lathering the scalp rather roughly. "P-please not so rough-ah!" he yelps when she pulled at his hair.

"What did you say?"

"N-nothing nothing keep going!"

"Hmph, that's what I thought. You should be grateful I'm even giving you these products, they're not meant to be used on someone as gross and pathetic as you. The archbishop is far too lenient with you facility wise and it sickens me." she says while still roughly treating his scalp before dumping a bucket of water over his head once she was done. The shadow coughs out the soapy water that went into his mouth before quickly trying to wipe his face of any residue. He turns to Ann seeing her come back with a flower scented body scrub in hand which makes him sigh.

"I-is it okay to try something l-less feminine-mph!" he tried to speak up again but was only met with his upper body and head getting dunked underwater which made the Phantom Thieves surprised that he wasn't struggling at all.

"Are you done complaining yet you little shit? You're lucky you even get scented toiletries to begin with! Now get out!"

She let him go allowing him to gasp for air only to be pulled out of the tub like nothing. He dropped to the floor with a puddle of dirty yet soapy water around him as Ann grabbed the scrub and brutally rubbed it on his already sensitive skin. The fresher wounds already bleeding once more without phasing her in the slightest.

By the time he was completely covered in the scrub she already grabbed him and borderline threw him back into the tub making him hit his head on the side. It caused a hiss of pain from Mishima and a dent on the tub for Ann. 

Her eyes zeroed in on the dent as if it had personally offended her. She gave a deadly look to Mishima before forcing his arm high above his head with her whip unveiling. "Did your thick skull damage the bathtub? The one you shouldn't even have in the first place!? Unbelievable!" she dragged him back out dragging him to a wall causing Mishima to gasp and struggle knowing what's coming next.

"N-no please I didn't mean it I-!!"

"You never mean shit do you!? Now shut up and stay put!"

He reluctantly obeyed while he was shoved against the hard cold wall on the other side of the room that contained a stand with a hook attached to the top. The cognition grabbed some leather binds and tied his hands to the hook painfully tight backing up and allowing her whip to fully unveil. The Thieves couldn't help but pale already knowing what is coming next.

"No way..." Oracle gasps.

"For real...?"Skull struggles to let out.

Noir put a hand over her mouth "It can't be..."

"She wouldn't...I wouldn't..."Panther struggled to get out.

When the whip began moving they struggle to even watch as it cracked down on Mishimas bare and still wet back causing a heart wrenching scream. Although, as the lashes kept repeating over and over again they noticed he quieted down almost too quickly with how he stopped reacting at all after the tenth lash. As if he's done this enough to quickly adjust. At that point Joker and Crow were the only ones not looking away, for two entirely different reasons.

Joker was so shocked from the cognition the admin had of his own teammates, ones who he knew more then anyone else out of the team and this is how he thinks of them? They've never laid a hand on him. As far as he knew they've been nothing but nice to him, so where was this all coming from? And what's worse, if this is just the cognition of the two people he's supposedly closest to before he met him, what kind of monster is the cognition of him gonna turn out? The sight in front of him was sickening and heart wrenching from the way his back bled with fresh wounds over already old ones, and the way he hung so lifelessly like a sack of meat. This was just the beginning of the palace too, what more atrocities is he gonna come across that are their own images doing?

Crow didn't know how to feel seeing the admin get beaten so ruthlessly. It's not that he really cares for the boy, but more so how and why something like this is being done in his heart. Never in his entire hitman career has he come across a shadow that had distorted desires that didn't stem from a sin of selfishness, but rather from despair and hollowness. He has seen the way the rest of the group treat him. While surface level they did check on his well-being to make sure he wasn't going astray, he knows why Mishima was having these feelings. He was being ignored, treated like a tool or object rather than someone you would call a friend. If the Kamoshida incident and what he has heard about him was correct, the Phantom Thieves were the closest people he ever had as "friends" and is incredibly lonely/outcasted to the point where some people made fun of him for existing. Calling him a "zero" if he remembered correctly. Something that people forget exists, something that wasn't important until they were given a task or purpose. It was beaten into his head that he had no purpose in living, the phansite was essentially all he was good for. It just took Joker ignoring and undermining him for the admin to realize that. He's putting himself into the same destructive cycle Crow himself is in. He hates admitting this but he knows the way he thinks isn't right. But what else can he really do? Bottom line, Mishima shouldn't be allowing himself to be in a situation similar to his, last thing he wants is another him. 

Then again if they fail and he dies, it doesn't really matter either way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welp that happened, anyways you'll probably get an idea of what's most likely gonna happen here. So hope you stick around for it! Enjoy!


	11. Cognitive Yusuke and Makoto

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After Ann and Ryuji were horrified by their counterparts along with everyone else, Yusuke and Makoto dreaded what they would have to see.

It wasn't until ten minutes of whipping non-stop did the cognitive Ann finally drop Mishima. The poor shadow was practically limping to the vanity when she briefly cleaned up his wounds so it wouldn't stain the outfit she put on him. It was a dark blue kimono with a black sash around the waist. The small star patterns on the sleeves being the eye catcher and the way it hung off his shoulders seemingly too big for him only made him look even smaller than he already was.

The cognition wrapped some gauze around his neck and put a moon pin into his hair before allowing him to stand up. "You look decent enough. Now get going, you don't wanna miss your next lesson do you?" she hissed out.

He quickly shook his head before leaving the cognition's room making the Phantom Thieves quickly follow. Nobody was expecting Panther or Skull to have much commentary on what they just witnessed. Nor even ask how they're feeling, because obviously they weren't in a good mood.

Upon hoisting himself up the stairs they heard slow and steady footsteps echo across the hallway as a dark figure stood in front of Mishima. Towering over him as if he was a shadow at sunset. Although, the moment the figure spoke the voice was smooth as silk with a poisonous undertone in it. "Come, our lesson awaits." 

The thieves immediately realized it was one of their male members as he took out a key and opened the door letting himself in before Mishima. They were quick to slide through the door as well before it closed finding a few podiums in the grand room to hide behind. Their eyes widened in awe at the ballroom lounge fusion of said room with the velvet looking couch in the center and the entire floor had a pool of water that was above ankle deep. The statue piece behind the couch looked like a fountain now that they were getting a closer look at it. Mishima waited at the edge of the pool while the male figure shockingly walked on the water light as air to the velvet like couch before properly lying down on top of it bathing in the light.

They let out a gasp seeing that it was none other than the Cognitive Yusuke. He turned to Mishima after getting comfortable and sighs exasperated. "Well? Your lesson has already started. Get moving." he snapped.

The thieves tuned out the stuttering yes that came from the shadow too busy taking in the sight of Yusuke. He almost looked like that of a geisha. With the big flowing deep blue kimono with a swirl of white floral patterns that had a good amount of layers and design underneath, some red decorative chopsticks, and white flower pins styled into his hair. The kimono was partly undone to show off his collarbones and shoulders, the pendant with what was most likely a ruby encrusted key that opened another room. He looked like the exact definition of elegance and beauty.

"That key..you think it might be useful?" Joker thought out loud.

"Even if it is we can't risk trying to get it. That would equal confrontation with an opponent of unknown strength and right now we have to secure a route." Queen declined.

He sighs “I guess you're right. Maybe another time then."

During the rejection of the offer, Fox was flabbergasted by his counterpart. "Does Mishima truly view me at such a refined and unworldly status?"

"He must think you're a standard of beauty in a man that he can never achieve." Queen sighs.

"Yeah man I ain't gonna lie, he made you look almost like a hot chick." Skull deadpanned.

"I refuse to be called something as vulgar as 'a hot chick!'"Fox hissed out.

"Will you two keep it down what happened to being stealthy?" Crow snapped with a whisper.

Joker shrugs."I mean, I'd fuck him-"

"Not helping!" he whisper shouted.

"Regardless of his looks, I don't like the look in his eyes, especially towards Mishimas shadow." Noir softly said.

When they turned their attention back to the two the cognition slowly pulled out a silver whistle and blew into it. The whistle itself made a soft hum before he proceeded to put it back. They couldn't figure out what the whistle did but they were soon stunned silent hearing a melody start to play in the background.

"What....is this..?" Mona asked, never hearing anything like it.

"I-it's so eerie and intimidating. Is this boss music?" Oracle whispers uncertainty.

"No, the music is a traditional japanese piece no doubt about it. The instruments are easily recognizable." Yusuke debunked "But...it's as if it has been corrupted. A twisted version of what it initially was. Rather than being calm and soothing it's intense and ominous."

"It makes sense that it would tie to his cognition of Fox then. He is much more traditional with our culture compared to the rest of us. Though what's the point of it?" Joker thought out loud.

"The music might reflect how he feels inferior and afraid of Fox. That no matter what he does for his approval he'll never match up let alone surpass." Queen deduced dejectedly.

"Guys look, Mishima is about to do something."

Skull brought their attention back to the two as Mishima carefully walked into the water stopping at the center a few feet in front of the fake Yusuke. The cognition was not amused in the slightest as the admin carefully raised his arms, and began dancing?

"Is....is he...dancing for him?" Oracle asked confused.

"Why would he need to dance in front of Fox of all people?" Mona couldn't help asking.

"....The park." Crow sighed.

Joker turned to him "The park?"

"Yes. When he was with Fox and I there was a man playing a violin to make some quick money. Fox really liked the music and began dancing to it."

Fox took it as his turn to take over. "We insisted on Mishima joining me and he was so stiff trying his best to copy my movements that we could clearly tell he wasn't enjoying himself..."

"This must be his version of that day. He felt the need to impress and entertain us, believing that he was failing miserably in the process." Crow finished looking back at Mishima.  
Said boy was dancing the best he could splashing the water around and trying to be elegant with his movements. Although, he looked exhausted and miserable the entire way. As if he had done this time and time again with no change in the routine.

They didn't fail to notice the cognition getting more and more aggravated before finally standing up. "Stop it, just stop it right now!'' This made the shadow squeak and immediately halt his movements shrinking into himself. "Just what was that!? You seriously call that art? I've seen lobsters prance around better than you!"

"I-I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm just so t-tired-"

"Exhaustion is no excuse. You say that half the time you're here!" The cognition had to take a moment to collect himself before walking over beside him. "It seems I once more have to show you the steps and sequence. Watch closely and repeat. Understood?"

"Y-yes my savior..."

There was that word again,_ savior_.

"He really does look at us as higher entities doesn't he?" Noir looked down.

"There's no doubt about it now. To him, we're his gods. Ones he has to constantly serve and please no matter how horribly you treat him." Mona frowned.

"But that's the thing I can't wrap my head around. Why does our cognition treat him so horribly? No matter what way I look at it I still can't understand it." Queen was obviously growing more frustrated with the lack of answers as she tightly held on to her brass knuckles.

"Observing and defeating shadows is all we really can do for now. Maybe at some point we'll find something but for now we must stand idle." Crow said always being quick to take over the situation not once letting his eyes trail away from the shadow.

The Fox cognition began to dance to the ominous music. His feet touch the surface of the water every step contrary to the sunken feet of Mishimas. His movements were refined and beautiful as that of a professional dancer. Movement so entrancing that it was hard to look away.

Mishimas on the other hand were much slower and melancholic with the dance. Doing his best to keep up but simply not having the body or energy to do so. Despite this he mimicked the cognition's movements the best he could, even managing to gain back his footing a bit. Yusuke kept his eyes solely on the shadow, watching every little move he made.

The thieves began to notice that Mishima slowly started to look less mechanical and started to put his own steps and dance moves into it without even realizing. Noting the way his feet were slowly starting to rise out of the water and be above it like Fox’s cognitive counterpart. They had a small ounce of hope seeing the growing look of content on his face.

The moment the cognition saw this he immediately stopped his own dance and grabbed Mishimas wrist startling him; losing his footing and sinking right back down under the water. "Who said you can tamper with MY dance with your disgraceful steps? Did you think you were making it better!?"

He froze and began pleading, something they noticed he has been doing a lot of with these interactions. "N-No please I swear I just lost myself I-!"

"Enough! It seems your plankton sized brain needs to be taught another lesson."

The cognition pulled out a blade with an ice dragon hilt out of his sleeve before immediately slashing at Mishimas exposed and already frail beaten arms.

The majority of the thieves had already turned away ducking back into their hiding spots, refusing to see the most likely inhuman sight they would've witnessed and doing their best to block out the shadow's screams.

Joker, Fox, and Crow were the few that decided not to look away from the scene for different reasons.

Joker was struggling to grasp that something so horrific can be imagined and perceived by the admin about one of his own friends. No matter how many times he's seen it he still refuses to believe this is what he thinks of them.

Fox could not peel his eyes away from the sickening version of him. He looked beautiful and refined on the outside, but the inside was nothing more than a tactical beast that craved superiority and blood. Was simply dancing in the park with him that fateful day really that unsightly in Mishimas eyes?

Crow simply grew use to the sight. It was nothing new to him; the strong picking on the weak and nothing more. Mishima viewed all of the Phantom Thieves as strong deities. So of course he would believe they have the right to treat him like shit. Almost like....

He quickly turned away as if he had left the unfinished thought behind. "Let's go. He'll most likely be done soon, we should get out of here while they're distracted."  
The Thieves looked at each other and it only took a brief nod before they quickly went back into the shadows back into the hallway with the grand staircase.  
\--  
It took another ten minutes before the shadow came out once more with bloody arms and even more sunken look on his face then he initially had. He slowly went back up the stairs barely registering his surroundings.

"I hate how I am getting use to that look on his face." Panther sighed.

"We're here on a mission Panther, remember that." Crow asserted. "Do any of you have ideas on who he will approach next?"

Queen put a hand to her chin. "From the order we've seen so far I can only assume it's the lineup on the first joined to last of the Phantom Thieves. I joined soon after Fox, so it's safe to assume that I'm..."

Joker noticed her hesitance straight away and gently patted her back. "You're trying to prepare yourself aren't you."

"Take it from me Queen. You won't be. If his cognitions of us have been this shitty so far, it can be safe to say the rest of you guys won't be any better." Skull grumbled.

"I know that, but my curiosity more so sides on how he perceives my supposed cruelty. Skull acted like an overbearing violent trainer that uses brute force, Panther behaved like that of a mistress who strives for flawless looks and punishes you for showing said flaws, and Fox was an epitome of beauty and elegance that turns deadly when he doesn't receive it in return. So what would I essentially do to him?"

"Well considering you are the brains of this group I can only assume it has something to do with how he perceives his intellect." Joker thought out loud.

"You're probably right."

They soon continued following (having to beat a few surprise shadows on the way there since Skull and Panther accidentally stepped on some trap tiles) and saw the shadow waiting patiently outside a door.

Queen silently gulped in anticipation and dread as the door opened almost too slowly. Just as she predicted, out came her cognitive self with a completely neutral yet cold look on her face. She was more so surprised that the outfit was actually more tame than her real one. While she did have a black jumpsuit similar to hers, it had a dark grey and black long skirt attached over it with an opening in the middle, a simple collar with a red broach attached that almost had a eerie glow, a smaller version of her scar loosely around her neck, and black gloves with frills at the ends. She took out a pointer stick that teachers would normally use to smack Mishimas head only getting a mere hiss out of him. "Look alive you plankton, we must squeeze in a few terms before you meet with the archbishop."

"I understand."

"I understand what?"

"I understand senpai."

"Good, now proceed to the room."

Mishima slowly trudged his way in with Makoto walking behind him with a slam of the door locking it shut. The Thieves sigh getting up with Skull rubbing the back of his neck. "Well we have no way in this time, the door is locked and there's no vent."

Crow turns to him "Is there really anything vital in there? Fox was nothing but luck with the key but I doubt Queens cognition would have much."

"The broach."

"Huh?"

"The broach." Oracle repeated looking at one of her screens. "There was a high surge of energy in it. Not to mention she wears it closely around her neck and it's trusted to Queen of all people. One of our more smarter and careful members."

"Then it goes without saying that we need to obtain the broach. It might be useful to us down the line." Queen stated.

"You forget we don't have a way in. We can't do much without getting in undetected." Skull repeated.

"Then we just need to find another entry point. No problems there." Joker said nonchalantly.

"We should start searching the floor then." Mona announced. "Start!"

At Monas cue they immediately began searching around the floor for any possible entryways. Of course they ended up bumping into some holy men looking shadows but they were quick to take care of as they proceeded with their search. It wasn't until Joker noticed a window that almost looked like it was being guarded by the shadow in front of it. This shadow looks much more menacing then the previous ones. He quickly alerts the rest of the group having them meet back with him.

All of them peeked over at the menacing shadow before turning back to each other.

"That window has gotta be important if a priest lookin’ shadow is guarding it." Skull crossed his arms.

"We'll most likely have to ambush them," Mona began "you ready Joker?"

"You know the answer to that Mona." the cat knew he meant every word with the determined and unyielding look in his eyes. Mona hates to make the comparison, but it was almost the same look he had before he faced Kamoshida.

The feline still struggles to understand where this burning passion for saving Mishima came from. He didn't really seem to care all that much when he hung out with him, but maybe that was the problem? If he knew the guy, he was most likely doing it out of guilt and obligation. He couldn't ignore the whispers to himself that believed 'it was all his fault' but now's not the time to falter. This was just like any other mission in his book, so he will give it his all like always. "Alright, let's do this."

With a nod of confirmation between each other Joker leaped at the guard and ripped off his mask with his classic phrase "Show me your true form!!!"

\--

"Okay, okay, okay. That wasn't....too bad." Skull said panting.

"Jesus christ that thing doesn't play around, I felt like we need to use more healing then we should have." Panther groans.

Joker casually adjusted his gloves trying to hide his slight exhaustion. "What matters now is that it's gone. We can keep going."

"Hold on, it dropped something."

The others turned towards Crow as he picked up what looked like an old key with a small note attached to it. "Do not open until he is done with his daily duties. It must be referring to Mishima."

"What could that key possibly open?" Noir questioned.

"That we'll have to find out as we move along. For now we should keep it with us." Queen stated.

"I couldn't agree more."

Crow handed the key to Joker as he stowed it away in his pocket. Turning back towards the window they peered into it to see Queens cognition in front of a chalkboard with a wooden pointer stick lecturing a neutral face Mishima. A little notebook in his hand that he was carefully writing notes in. The thieves looked back at each other with a look of confusion.

"Is she really just tutoring him? That's pretty tame compared to the rest of us." Skull grumbled.

"And may I ask why you sound disappointed?" Queen glared.

"It's not like that! It's just...why is yours much better compared to ours? I thought..."

Her face immediately softened. "Oh um..right...let's not worry about that okay?" Skull silently nodded looking back at the scene in front of them. Regardless, she herself wondered why her cognition was much more normal then the ones they've previously seen. She wasn't mad about it, but more so just confused. Until she looked back up again and noticed Mishima trying to write an answer on the chalkboard. Somehow the way he was doing it didn't sit right with her. His hand is wavering, as if the very answer would determine his fate. Eyes were focused and dilated, seeing something that caused a growing fear. His body was standing completely still, yet somehow shaking at the same time.

"Does anyone notice how terrified his posture and face appears?" Crow spoke her thoughts.

"Now that you mention it, he does. He's acting like Queens cognition is holding him at gunpoint." Noir said.

"Isn't he always like that though?" Oracle chipped in. "I mean, he never once looked relaxed or happy in anything we've seen so far."

"No, this is different. Here he seems especially terrified. With the other cognitions he either looked lifeless yet adjusted to what they do. Here, he's showing his emotions even before anything has been done to him." Joker disagreed.

"What could Queens version of her do that would make him this afraid?" Panther couldn't help but ask.

"Judging by the pattern we've seen so far, we'll find out in no time." Crow assured.

While nobody really liked Crows answer they knew deep down that he was right. Turning back to the scene they notice the shadow putting the chalk down and stepping away from the board with his head bowed and hands folded neatly over the other. Makoto walked over to the board and inspected the solution he came up with...before her eyes narrowed.  
"It's wrong, you're one short of the correct answer."

In an instant the fear in the admins eyes grew exponentially with his body shaking where it stands. "I-I can fix it I promise I-"

"There are no excuses for your insolence. Looks like you need more retribution if we want to make any noteworthy progress with you." her eyes seemed to have taken a more sharp and deadly crimson with her hand beginning to hover over her broach.

"I beg of you I-I'll do better! A-anything but the-AAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" his pleading was cut off by the red aura and electricity that coursed through his entire being. The dull screams and the things they witnessed before weren't nearly as painful to look at then this.

Almost everyone couldn't bear it and decided it was better to look away or cover their ears to little avail, Crow once more being the odd one out (not that anyone was really paying attention to him right now).

He stared on and on trying to understand the sight before him. The searing aura around the shadow that began to look more like a scorching flame that burned him alive without any physical injuries, the electricity acting like a thousand needles stabbing into him over and over again without any end, the painful look in his eyes that screamed for his pain and suffering to end, or even the way his body slowly crumbled to the ground in a futile attempt for a relief, the screams dying along with it.

It took a bit longer then he'd like to admit to figure out what the Queen cognition was exactly doing to him. What could cause something so immensely painful without even laying a scratch on him. Then he realized something, if the broach is the source of it, and it surrounded his body completely, then it could possibly mean...

"She's tampering with his core. The core that makes a shadow the way it is." he whispered almost to himself.

Joker turned to him with the others following suit. "His core? She's able to tamper with that?"

"Considering how much power he gives the cognition of us, it wouldn't seem impossible for them to have complete control of not only his body and mind, but his very soul. She's either attacking it which makes his whole body react, or even tampering with it to begin with is causing immense pain. I mean, how would you react if someone were to go into your beating heart, the very thing keeping you alive and moving, and start poking and prodding at it as if it was a science experiment?"

"That shit is gonna hurt like hell man." Skull sighs before putting his hands in his pockets. "So if we were to get the broach, we would be able to control him basically, right?"

"This is Queen we're talking about though," Oracle started. "Even if she's just a cognition, there's a reason why they trusted something so important to her. She definitely won't be an easy person to conquer that's for sure."

"I feel both flattered and horrified that I'm perceived as that much of a threat." Queen proceeded to look back at the scene noticing her counterpart had finished the what can only be described as a torture session. "Regardless it's the same problem as Fox, they're wearing it close to their person and won't take their eyes off of it that easily. There's not much we can do here as well sadly."

"If that's the case we can move on ahead to what we're able to get in our grasp while Mishima recovers." Crow turns back to the shadow slowly trying to get up. " It seems he's gonna be awhile before he can even properly walk with how immense the pain seemed."

The Thieves looked at each other before carefully nodding and making their departure elsewhere.

\--

When they ascended to the next floor they didn't see any doors that could possibly look like one to a room, but rather a fork in their path that lead to three different hallways. The one on the left having more care and elegant decoration put to it, the one in the middle looking like a generic stone hall, and the right being smaller than the other two and seemingly ready to fall apart at any moment.

Panther looked towards the left with its much more superior look drawing her in. "You think that path leads to another room?"

Joker nodded"Most likely, but let's not go there for now."

"And why not? Aren't we going to see what the rest of our counterparts are?" Fox asked.

"Mishima isn't around remember? So we won't get much out of it seeing them by themselves and not interacting with anything."

"Considering the order we theorized, I already have a feeling who's down there." Oracle sighs.

Joker frowned and gave her a gentle pat on the head making her pout...yet smile at him. "Thanks."

"No problem. Anyways," he turns towards the other two options. "I think we should take one of these, there has to be something important here if it's more unkempt and vacant then the other parts of this place."

"Wouldn't it mean the opposite?" Skull asked.

"Think about it, Mishima is basically a slave in his own palace. He has to do all the housekeeping while monitoring the ground floor, keeping up with the site, and catering to our counterparts' whims. If these parts of the cathedral are so untouched that means it's not visited by us, so he has no need to clean them, yet they lead to something. Something Mishima himself probably frequents so it wouldn't matter. I still think it's better to go here and be safe than sorry."

"Very well, if that's what you believe, then which place would you like to go to first?" Crow asked.

Oracle brought up her screens analyzing the paths ahead. "The middle one is just a straight shot to a seemingly dead end while the one on the right has a locked door."

"So there's a chance the key we have now could work." Mona realized.

"We'll save it for later, I think it's better to go for the dead end one and see what we can find there before moving on to the locked door." Queen said.

With a consensual nod from everyone else they all began to head for the middle with Joker leading the pack.

"Lets go."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you're curious about the melody Yusuke used it's right here https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hsc41dhxU6Q and as for Makotos here's hers https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CatPDe0SwuM. And at this point I think it's safe to assume what's next.


	12. The Room

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Phantom Thieves look into what the other two paths contain. They weren't ready for what they were about to see.

Going down the middle path was relatively uneventful for the most part.

It mainly consisted of a long dark hallway with small torches pinned on the side being the only sliver of light source they have. The stone walls giving off a cold and vacant feel with the path forward seeming like it can stretch on forever. Skull groans putting his hands behind his back in a relaxed position.

"Look man I'm glad we ain't gettin' attacked or some shit but how long have we been walking?"

"About three minutes. "Oracle deadpans.

"Oh come on it couldn't have been that short!" he whined.

"Skull's whining aside," this earned a 'hey!' from said thief. "This still would be considered a long path. Is this just a meaningless trail?" Crow asked.

"Nope, definitely something here. "Oracle shot down. "The path is probably longer then others since it acts as if it's disconnected from the rest of the Cathedral."

Joker thought aloud. "Considering this is an area Mishima probably frequents more, it would make sense."

"Do you truly think we'll get something out of this?" Noir says concerned.

"We'll take anything at this point. If it gives us an advantage of simply understanding what we're dealing with better, we need to take it." Queen said.

"I can't help but feel like we're in the dark corner of the palace no one knows about or shouldn't be anywhere near. Is that a good or bad thing?" Panther asks.

"Yes." 

Panther gave a confused look to Fox who simply kept walking as if nothing happened while Mona pointed forward. "Hey guys look! There's light!"

Immediately catching their attention the thieves turned to where Mona gestured and saw the literal light at the end of the tunnel. Wasting no time they sprinted towards it as the light grew brighter and brighter.

\--

The first thing they were able to see was that arch that had a very faint glow to it, but it was the lettering engraved to it that made them halt.

The Slave's Broken Memories

"This is...." Noir was reduced to silence.

"No way man, for real?" Skull questioned. "Why would something like this exist in a palace?"

Oracle looks down. "It's not that out of the question. There was something similar in my palace too remember? The hieroglyphics?"

"That is true, so this must be Mishimas version of that. His memories are vital to the palace." Fox deduced.

Crow effortlessly smiled. "Well then, no other way to find out why but to look for ourselves right?"

"I guess, but I don't know, it just feels wrong..." Panther sighs.

"If you're talking about it being an invasion of privacy we've already reached way beyond that point by going into his palace in the first place. So worrying about it is rather useless." he bluntly stated.

"A-alright you have a point." she looked back at the entrance. "Let's just get this over with."

With that said the thieves walk into the hall filled with memories. Each side was lined up with an endless amount of cavities that displayed each memory inside. Ranging from his childhood all the way to a few days ago. Noir couldn't help but giggle at the toddler/child version of Mishima in the memories earning odd looks from the rest of the members making her flustered.

"I'm sorry, I just couldn't help but think he looks rather adorable as a child don't you think?"

They grew curious and looked at them with more focus and saw the child Mishima living his seemingly normal life. Panther smiled seeing a memory of Mishima playing with a teddy bear. "Aw you're right, he does look adorable."

"I don't really get all the gushing about kids but sure he has a nice baby face and all." Skull shrugs.

"Well of course he would, he's a child." Fox said once again putting it bluntly.

"Oh you know what I mean!" he grumbles back.

Joker looked on until he noticed a certain pattern with the memories. "Wait, you guys notice something off?"

Noir turned to him. "What do you mean?"

"Actually I think I noticed it too." Queen began checking over the memories once more. "His parents are nowhere to be found. Where are they?"

Crow instinctively turns away with a soured expression. "Maybe he's an orphan or they simply dumped him to go somewhere else. Ever thought of that?"

The thieves tense at the notion but couldn't find a reason to deny it until Mona walked up to the memory of Mishima at the park and curiously touched it. He gasps seeing his hand go through. "Guys look!"

Seeing Mona's discovery they quickly walk up to him. Panther decided to put her foot in seeing it disappear into the other side. "Is this like those paintings...?"

"Paintings?" Oracle asked.

"In Madarame's Palace there was a section where we were able to go through paintings to different destinations. It must work similar to that." Joker explained.

Crow put a hand to his chin. "I see, will anything happen if we head in?"

"Nothing bad really happened when we did it with the paintings, so we should try exploring it."

At their leader's discretion they all walked into the memory. 

\--

When they stepped out the first thing they felt was the slight warm breeze, the shining sun, and the dirt beneath their shoes. The sound of laughing and playing children pierced their ears as they looked upon the playground where said children were playing and the parents either watching or resting on the benches. 

The first one to react was the leader himself as he turned towards Oracle. "Can they see or hear us?"

"Considering there's no reaction from our sudden appearance and the readings of this place, we're practically ghosts simply observing."

"I figured, now where is Mishima?" 

"He seems to be in the sandbox by himself" Crow pointed.

Sure enough they spotted the child still playing with his teddy bear using it as a friend to play in the sand box with. The bear fell back, getting sand all over it much to Mishimas disappointment. He quickly scooped him up and attempted to dust him off before rushing over to a bench that had a black haired man and long midnight haired woman doing something on their phones. The Thieves follow the boy to listen in as he presents the dirty bear to them.

"Momma papa, Mr. Berry got all dirty. Can he take a bath with me when he gets home?"

They didn't pay any attention to him still fiddling with their devices. The boy kept calling his parents names, even going as far as tugging on their skirt/pants. 

The mother sighs finally looking back at the boy before gently nudging him away. "We can't play with you right now so go back to the sand box. We'll be leaving in half an hour."

"But momma-"

"Listen to your mother Yuki we are currently arranging our next business meetings. Go play with your toy." his father didn't even look away from his phone.

Before he can even get another word in he already lost the minimal attention he got as they kept typing away. He looks down with a gloomy expression on his face "That's not what I said...."

Accepting defeat he walked back to the sand box dragging his bear with him. Queen's breath hitched at the neglect. "They didn't even look at him."

"Maybe it'll get better if we keep going...?" Noir suggested.

Before they can say anything else they froze hearing a child-like voice echoing the area.

**Why won't momma and papa look at me?**

Panther softly began to mutter. "What the..."

**Did I do something wrong?**

**Are they mad at me?**

**Maybe they don't like me and Mr. Berry...**

"Where is that voice coming from?" Skull looks around to find his answer.

"This must be the child Mishima's thoughts in this memory. It's what he was thinking at that moment." Mona said.

Oracle put her hands close to her chest as if she was hugging someone that wasn't there. "A child...s-shouldn't have these thoughts. I-It's not right...."

Joker quickly went to her side. "Oracle do you need a break?"

"N-no. No. I'm fine. We need to do this." She quickly calmed herself before looking to where they came from. "We should keep going. If anything we'll hop in to the more seemingly important memories."

"I couldn't agree more. We must make haste." Crow nodded.

With a reluctant sigh Joker led his team out of the memory and back to the hallway. They kept walking deeper until Fox walked over to a memory with a 9 year old Mishima. "Maybe we should see how he progressed a few years later? Surely something is different."

They walked over to where Fox stood and noticed this past Mishima was walking home from school with bruises on his arms and face. 

Skull cringed at the injuries. "Man I knew Mishima was always picked on, but even before middle school?"

"Well one way to find out, shall we?" Crow gestured which made them sigh and walk into the memory.

\--

Next thing they knew they were inside Mishimas house with the father reading the newspaper on the couch and the mother doing some paperwork on the dining table. The young admin walked into his house letting out a greeting before taking off his shoes and stepping in. He turned towards his mother with a nervous look on his face.

**Should I tell them?**

"What does he mean tell them?" Skull scratches the back of his neck.

"About the bruises you idiot." Panther hissed.

"So he did try to tell his parents before." Queen realized.

Jokers eyes were laser focused on the young boy. "Well what's more important is how they responded." 

They nod in agreement as Mishima went up to his mother and tugged her sleeve. "Mom, I'm being attacked by the other kids. What should I do?"

"Not now I'm busy with something."

"Did you hear me? I said I was-"

"Look if you want to hang out with your friends that's fine but ask your father to join if you're so insistent."

"That's not what I-!"

"Run along and do your homework I need to finish."

At this point Mishima sighs giving up and walks over to his father much to the growing irritation of the Phantom Thieves. "Dad, the other kids are hurting me, can you help?"

"I'm trying to check out the stock prices, listen to your mother and go do your homework. You can play later." he said, not even sparing a glance at his child. 

The young admin was clearly frustrated as if he were to scream at them at any second, but it soon turned into a wave of sadness as he looked down and reluctantly went upstairs.

**Do they even care about me....? I doubt it...**

Skull clenched his fists. "His parents are such uncaring assholes. At least say it to his face dammit!"

"It's like they pretend to not have a son half the time." Fox looks down with a pained look.

"They have to do something for him right?" Noir turns to the others with a hopeful look. "I mean sure Mishima is pretty independent taking care of himself but they had to at least taught him the basics of necessary skills."

"Well only one way to find out." Crow suggested which made the others head back to the starting point and exit the memory.

They soon split up around the area looking through his pre-teen years to see how he's able to live the way he does.

"I see one of him making rice, but he's following a video." Panther announced.

Oracle peeks into one. "Well apparently he learned about house cleaning through search engines."

"He even learned coding and computers through online forums and books from the school library." Queen says astonished.

"So basically, the only thing he ever learned from his parents was any normal human needs you would be taught as an infant." Crow summarized. "They didn't even bother teaching him basic life skills outside of functioning as a human being."

"In other words he was forced to be independent or not last long..."Mona solemnly said. 

Joker clenched his fists seeing how uncaring Mishimas family really is. He has never even heard of parents neglectful to this degree. Maybe he should ask Sojiro if the admin can stay with him, even for a little bit. Just to take him away from there.

He shook his head and resumed walking. He had enough of Mishima's younger years and forced himself to press onward. The others noticed this and took this as their cue to follow.

Skull browsed through the memories before noticing a few...recent events. "Um, guys. Be wary. I think we're about to enter Kamoshida territory..."

Panther turns to him. "Aw man really?" She looks down. "Hopefully it's nothing too unbearable..."

"Won't know until we find out." Joker says leading the team once more. 

When they kept walking they noticed Mishima looking a little cheerful entering his house and going over to the kitchen table where his parents were eating. "Mom dad I need you to sign a form for me to join the volleyball team."

The thieves (especially Panther, Skull, Joker, and Queen) unconsciously flinch at the mention of the volleyball team, but was quickly replaced with shock when his parents actually looked away from their work with a surprised expression on their faces before his mother spoke. "You're joining a sport?"

"Um, yeah I wanted to try and better myself a little." the admin sounded much more eager noticing that he was finally getting his parents attention. 

"Sounds promising, hand the form over then." his father hummed before Mishima quickly gives him the form for both of them to sign.

After getting their signatures the admin collects the papers with a smile on his face, not before his father said in a slightly stern voice. "Make sure you do well son. Now that you're doing something notable."

The group was disgusted by the father's words of 'encouragement' which had seemingly flown right over Mishimas head, not losing his smile for a moment. "I'll do my best! Thanks!" he said before rushing upstairs to his room.

"Well, it can only spiral from here, let us proceed." Crow stated which made the others sigh before walking down the hallway some more not once stopping. Not for the times Mishima sat on the benches looking like an outcast, not for the many spikes to the head and body he got from a volleyball courtesy of Kamoshida, not for the meetings into said coach's office for a beating of one minuscule reason or another, and especially not for the moments when he looked completely void of life and will. 

Panther did however stop in front of one that showed Mishima and Shiho. She failed to notice Skull walk beside her until he spoke up. "You sure you wanna see this?"

She was initially startled by his presence but quickly looked back. "I probably shouldn't, but something tells me I should..."

Skull nods in understanding walking away to gesture the others to come over. She kept watching as her eyes widened at what Mishima said next.

"Kamoshida wants you at his office..."

"W-why...?"

"I don't know..."

Shiho looks down and walks away as he stands there frozen.

**Weak**

**Coward**

**You know what will happen to her**

**Pathetic**

Mishima tried to shake the thoughts away as he held his injured hands and wrists to his chest. "I'm sorry...Shiho."

Panther clenched her fists at the sight not knowing how to react. Anger? Sadness? Pity? Guilt? She couldn't pin it. But all she knows is that she wasn't the only one suffering from Shiho's fate.

"Panther, look at the next one."

She turns back to Queen gesturing with the tilt of her head towards the memory beside the one she just watched. She walked over to it and her heart stopped. 

It was the time Shiho jumped.

She can see herself kneeling beside the poor girl having the conversation she remembers all too vividly. Joker and Skull around the front of the crowd looking on with worry yet determination in their eyes. Judging by being able to see their mouths move but not hear anything Mishima was probably too far away to hear them. Her eyes widened in surprise when the memory grew dark and blurry around the edges when Mishima slowly backed away.

**MONSTER**

**THIS IS YOUR FAULT**

**WHY DID YOU SEND HER TO THAT BASTARD KNOWING WHAT WILL HAPPEN**

**YOU SHOULD HAVE NEVER SENT HER AND TAKE WHATEVER PUNISHMENT HE GAVE YOU**

**YOU KNEW**

**IT SHOULD'VE BEEN YOU**

**YOU'RE NOTHING BUT A MESSENGER OF DEATH**

**YOU DESERVE TO DIE **

**ALL YOU DO IS MAKE THINGS WORSE**

**ROT IN HELL**

"Ah......ah...."

The memory only got blurrier as Mishima ran away in a panic, trying to escape the demons in his head and the cruel reality of Shiho knowing it will forever haunt him.

"Mishima.....dammit." Skull looked down clenching his fists. "So Shiho's attempt wasn't the only thing that was making him panic..."

"Students suffered more then I could've imagined..." Queen looked away in shame. "I'm certain that the incident still plagues their minds like it has on him..."

"Let's move on. We're approaching the memories of him right before we found out about his palace."

At their leader's advice they quickly run over to the memory he was looking into. They first see the admin texting Joker on numerous occasions if he wanted to hang out with him after discussing targets. Each and every response was met with a rejection or unanswered, but he didn't seem to be bothered by it. "That's fine, he's just busy. He has a lot on his plate of course he's gonna be busy for a while."

Joker's breath hitched. He said that, every single time he blew him off without fail. Had he really been ignoring him for that long? It didn't really feel like a long time for him but that's most likely because he does a lot each and every day. He can never really tell anymore how long it's been since the last time he hung out with someone off the top of his head.

He looked on to the next memory and saw the time he and Futaba were in the cafe to get her use to being in public. He didn't see anything that would really stand out, maybe it started in another-

**Friend might be a bit much.**

Then he saw it. The look of hurt in Mishima's eyes and the thoughts of that feeling soon after.

"Dude, why did you say that?" Skull turned to him with a look of genuine shock on his face.

"I-I don't know. It just slipped out." 

"Well no wonder why he thinks none of us are actual friends if you say things like that to him on a normal basis." Crow bluntly stated.

Oracle rolled her eyes. "Oh come on Crow it's not like we do it all the time-"

**"This overwhelmingly forgettable appearance, generic speech style, and total lack of sex appeal...Nishima...are you an NPC!?"**

"....Ooooookay maybe that wasn't the best example." she sheepishly said twiddling her fingers. 

"You literally said he was unattractive and forgettable. I don't know how he feels about his looks but from what I've heard he is sensitive about attention." Queen sighs crossing her arms.

"I didn't know alright!? I just met him!"

"I understand that but certainly Joker must've told you about this-"

"Savage." They heard the Joker in the memory laugh.

"You encouraged it!?!?" Queen nearly shrieked.

"I wasn't thinking alright!? I didn't seem to think about anything I said to him..." Joker looked away like a child being scolded.

"Guys calm down he gets that it's a joke." Panther quickly pointed out as they looked back at the memory hearing Mishima's thoughts play it off as a joke.

"See no harm done he gets it!" Oracle tried to recover.

**"But it'd be even more savage to lie about what he is!"**

"Doh me and my big mouth!" she groans.

"I am starting to realize the reason Mishima has cultivated such a tortured palace." Fox sighs.

"Hey it can't all be my fault Inari!"

"What's this?" 

Noir points to them leaving the diner and the moment Oracle mentions how one-sided his conversations with Joker are before leaving and how he struggles to understand it. The admin worries about it another time but they saw how the comments from earlier faintly whispered throughout the memory before ending.

"Well that was hella creepy." Skull shuttered. "Let's get goin, there's no way that shit alone would trigger this mess."

"The thing is I dread what events could pile up into such a sorrowful place." Queen had a melancholic look on her face before Joker once again took the lead and skimmed through some more memories.

\--

It was a long torturous road but at this point they believe they saw everything. Mishima witnessing all of the hangouts Joker had with the rest of his friends, the anxiety attacks he frequently had in his thoughts that they feel ashamed to have never noticed, and the reasons why their plan to spend time with him in groups failed miserably.

"He saw us on our night out. Judging by the shift in attitude after that memory and breakdown he had soon afterwards, that had to be the moment his palace took form and derailed his mental state from there." Crow summarized. 

"So in other words it's all my fault." Joker looked down.

Fox shook his head. "Joker please do not blame yourself for this we all contributed to the creation of this horrid place-"

"Yeah under MY command! None of this shitstorm would've happened if I wasn't such an asshole to him or at least gave him the time of day because _ clearly_ no one in his life cares about him enough to do so!!!" he snapped.

Mona walks closer to him with a concerned look. "Joker don't lose your cool we need to focus-"

"After all of THIS!? How the hell am I supposed to calm down when I'm running through one of my friend's palace, the cognition he has of my other friends constantly beating the shit out of him for no reason, only to find out that I really was the root cause of his suffering!?!? I don't think I can properly look at Mishima ever again without seeing him as broken glass with how much crap he's been through! What the hell happens when we do change his heart!? Considering how my ideas ended up so far there's a chance it might make things worse in some fucked up way! At this rate I don't think I should even hang around Mishima anymore is this is what comes of it!!!"

Joker crouched down with his hands to his head struggling to have his mind catch up with everything he just said. The Thieves were heartbroken by what they just heard. They didn't think the palace was tormenting him this much. 

"Jok-..Akira. Is this what you've been feeling this entire time?" Queen gently walked to his side bending down to try and comfort him

"..............."

Mona puts his paws on his knee looking up at him. "Hey, it's okay. You don't have to conceal your emotions all the time you know..."

"Yeah man, why didn't you tell us sooner? You didn't have to keep that all in...." Skull rubs circles on his partner's back with his hand soothingly.

".....It's just...I can't lose my cool. I'm the leader, you all look to me for guidance and reassurance. If I fall apart then what hope am I giving you guys? Especially since I caused all of this in the first place. If I just gave him more time maybe he-"

"Akira stop." Panther stood rigid with a fire in her eyes. "Don't ever say this was all your fault, because it's not. Yes you could've treated him better, we all should've treated him better, but you and I both know that these recent events wouldn't create a palace this horrible! I mean, you saw how he was when you first met him right? That sick bastard already destroyed his self confidence and treated him like a freaking tool." her fists clenched trying to hold back tears. "And even before that he was getting bullied regularly about being a 'zero' and all that. Ryuji and I could've done something back then or even just give him reassurance but we did _nothing_ and stayed doing nothing after Kamoshida was dealt with. If anything, we reopen old wounds and scars that made him spiral to this. I'll be damned if you take the blame for this entire place!"

Joker looks back up at Panther seeing her shake with raw passion and fire in the words she spoke. Deep down, he knew she was right. Him being passive aggressive towards Mishima and not being noticed by the rest of the group is nothing compared to what he had to deal with his entire life. He was raised by neglectful parents, bullied throughout his younger years in school, been told how worthless he is, and abused/controlled throughout a chunk of his high school life. He went through hell on a day to day basis, it's amazing he didn't lose his mind sooner. At best what he did was basically the final push over the edge. While he still at least partly blames himself for this abomination of a palace, Joker still manages to recover a little bit and stands back up. The cool collective leader returns to him as if a mask was being worn once more. "You're right Panther, I can't take the blame for all of this. Thanks, I needed that stern talking too."

"Just promise us you won't repress your emotions again okay?" Oracle pleaded.

Joker smiled and responded with a ruffling of her hair making her whine. "I promise." he retracted his hand. "Now is not the time for this though, we still have a mission to complete. Surprised Crow didn't try to haul my ass off the ground." He paused realizing he didn't see Crow with the group. He tenses looking around. "Crow?"

He manages to see said thief looking into one of the memories with a distant look in his eyes. While he was relieved to see that his teammate didn't wander off too far, he was curious as to what memory caught his eye. Considering he remained uninterested and calculating throughout most of this journey. 

Walking over to him Joker couldn't help but ask "Hey you alright?"

No response. The leader figured it was best to look along with the detective subtly noting the rest of the group walking up to be alongside them. It was probably best they didn't go inside the memory considering how vivid the last few times were.

Nothing seemed out of the ordinary. Mishima came home from school and judging by how fragile he looked this was fairly recent. They noted that his parents for once were actually having dinner at the table instead of not being there completely; although they were still on their phones/notepad not acknowledging his presence as he was use to. He walks up to them not even bothering to show emotion knowing it would be a waste. "You forgot to set a plate for me again huh. I should've expected this."

Earning no response he took his portion from the pot of pasta left on the stove and sat down adjacent to the both of them and slowly began to eat. 

The thieves felt the uncomfortable silence and despair even without entering the memory itself. It took five minutes before Mishima began to speak up with his expression unchanging. "I've been hanging out with others recently, did you notice?"

".........."

"I guess not, it's not like you guys actually want me around...."

"Son what did we say about messing around in the house." the father off handedly commented.

"That's not what I fucking said. I know you guys aren't deaf, are you just tuning out ninety percent of my sentences?"

"Whatever keeps you active I guess." the mother shrugged

"I would ask what does that even mean but it's pointless. I know you both hate me."

"I highly doubt your teachers hate you." 

"They probably do, although I probably hate myself the most. I can't even bother to look at my reflection anymore without feeling disgusted or depressed." the admin unconsciously held his arm seeming to eat even slower.

"You look fine, not much you can do about it outside of basic hygiene." his father blew off.

Mishima stops eating with his fists clenched. "......I'm thinking of killing myself. I want to die."

"The volleyball team doesn't have that hard of a routine Yuri." 

**YURI!?**

He slammed his fists on the table, losing what little appetite he had. "I CAN'T TAKE THIS ANYMORE! I HATE THIS! I HATE BOTH OF YOU! IF I WERE TO GO MISSING I KNOW DAMN WELL YOU WOULDN'T NOTICE TILL HALF A YEAR LATER! IF YOU DIDN'T WANT A CHILD THEN WHY BOTHER HAVING ME!?"

His father finally looked away from his notepad to give a stern look to the distraught boy. "That's enough out of you. If you're frustrated about a friend take it somewhere else."

Tears that will not be seen appeared in the corner of his eyes. "You know what!? FUCK YOU! When I finally die I'll make sure everyone in this damn city knows that you should NEVER be trusted with a child EVER AGAIN!"

Mishima ran up the stairs and slammed the door shut to most likely break down and cry as the father looked back at his wife. "What do we do with him now?"

"Leave him be, he's just going through a phase."

"Yeah you're probably right."

He sat back down with the two finishing up dinner and cleaning up as if nothing even happened.

Many things could be said about the moment they just witnessed, but the phantom thieves were reduced to silence. It took a solid minute before Fox decided to be the one to break the tense air. "This is downright horrific. I would ask who would treat their children so poorly, but it's not like we've never seen or experienced it before..."

"He wants to die, and his parents just tune that out?" The frustration and fury was growing within Queen even if she wasn't visibly showing it. "Is this what they do every time he tries to talk to them? They don't even pretend to care!"

"I...I don't want him living at his so called home anymore. Is that a bad thing?" Noir asked with a solemn hand over her heart.

"Hell no it ain't. I can't let him stay with assholes like them!" Skull clenched his fist itching to punch something.

Panther became saddened. "Going back to either an empty home or that everyday. He's in a much more miserable position then I thought..." 

"Joker." Oracle nervously started. "M-maybe we can ask Sojiro if he can..."

"If the memories we saw earlier wasn't enough of a reason this just solidifies it. When we get back I'm gonna have Mishima stay with us as much as possible. If I'm lucky I can convince him to stay the night. We can't risk him having another encounter with his 'parents' like that again. Oracle, how are we doing?"

Shaking off her nerves she looked into her nav. "The dead end is just up ahead."

"Alright, move out." The group had no hesitation running forward with Joker turning back to notice Crow hasn't moved a inch or uttered a word. "You alright?" 

"..........Two days ago."

"Huh?"

"This memory, it happened two days ago. That comment about wanting to die...it's most likely even stronger now. I...I honestly don't think he will last long. The deadline is a lot closer than we think..."

Joker completely turned to him with a conflicted look on his face. "I had a feeling. Which is the reason why he can't stay at that house. At least with us even if we do slip up it won't be nearly as severe. Regardless, this is only the first day of infiltration, and I can already tell the team is getting a little tired."

"And I can speculate we're probably a little more than halfway."

"Oracle felt that as well, but considering the fire in all of their eyes, they aren't gonna call it a day anytime soon. Hell, neither am I."

".....Neither will I. The sooner we conquer this the better."

"Like that attitude, come on let's catch up."

Crow nodded before following Joker to the rest of the group. He initially thought Mishima got this palace because he wasn't getting the attention he wanted and was just overreacting to things, being sensitive after the whole Kamoshida incident. He hates to admit that his assumptions on him were wrong. His desires stem from a much deeper root. He himself has experienced hell constantly for years, while Mishima's was a different kind. One that stemmed from a more mundane lifestyle and something that has been built up over the years only now crashing in at full force; turning that into depression and despair while he turned his into hatred and resentment. The admin has already reached alarmingly close to his breaking point, (Crow knows what will happen when he truly breaks) so what will that mean for him? It's scary how much he actually has in common with this boy he never really bothered to befriend. Is he close to his breaking point too and not even realizing it?

Is he actually starting to care about this boy?

He internally shook his head. No, that can't possibly be it. He has learned from day one to never trust anyone, not even yourself. These memories were just hitting too close to home for him. It'll eventually leave and he can focus on his mission once more.

When he caught up with the rest of the group he noticed the uncertain looks on their faces. Turning to what they were looking at he saw a black iron door with sturdy chains wrapped around it but wasn't actually locking the door itself. He can see the black mist leaking out below and Mishimas voice echoing through it, but the words were muttered and barely comprehensible. It was a door that reeked of death and despair.

"The item is inside, although I don't know what's in there..."Oracle informed.

Only Mishima and hell itself can know what's behind that door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woo! Sorry this took awhile! I guess there were some parts I still needed to figure out to make it run more smoothly but it came out alright! Also this is a little break from the cognition's since that isn't all of what Mishima's palace is. Anyways I hope you enjoy!


	13. A Dark Place

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Phantom Thieves come across a very ominous room. What is inside?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a little note some themes here might be slightly triggering if you are sensitive to this kind of media. (Although you'll probably be more triggered by my execution of it then the theme itself^^;) So regardless, read with caution.

The door was for the lack of a better word, terrifying. 

The Phantom Thieves have been standing in front of it for at least two minutes struggling to come up with a way to proceed. Not only do they not know what's exactly in there, but there's also the chance that it could negatively affect them in some way.

Skull tilted himself over to Oracle not taking his eyes off of the door. "You're positive there's something worthwhile in there?"

She shuffled in her spot but still had a small pout. "There's definitely something in there. Whether it's worthwhile or not, I highly doubt they would just put something useless in a room like this. It at the very least has to be something exclusive to Mishima since this seems like the type of place only he would bother going too."

"I believe our problem is more so how are we going to go in." Queen continued. " While the door itself isn't locked in any way we don't know what we have to prepare ourselves for. There could be millions of things in there or nothing at all. Although, considering that we're hearing echoes of Mishima's voice I'd say we might have to be more mentally prepared then physical."

"I agree." Crow hummed. "If I were to make an educated guess, I would assume this would be Mishima's most personal and darkest thoughts or memories. To have it all condensed into a seemingly closet sized room must be the reason why it's leaking in the door's crevices."

"Could the room even fit all of us if it's indeed the size we believe it is?" Fox asked.

"Maybe for safety reasons the less of us that go inside the better." Noir suggested.

Panther turned to her. "But we can't go in with half the team! Isn't that too risky? What if there's a strong shadow?" 

Oracle continued to analyze the room. "I'm not detecting anything, but it seems to have a system where the more people inside the more harsher and concentrated the darkness inside of it becomes." 

"So it's basically behaving as a punishing system with the more people breaching his privacy. Fascinating indeed." Crow thought out loud.

"If that's the case we should lower our numbers to two or three that should be allowed to enter." Noir sighs.

"That means less than half of us should attempt to go in. Even if it is a little risky." Mona said with an uneasy tone.

"....No need. I'll go." 

Everyone turns to Joker in shock as he had a look of pure determination at the door. "I owe this to him. Besides, I highly doubt he wants all of us to see his darkest thoughts. In this case, less is more."

"Joker are you insane!? We don't know what is waiting on the other side! While there will be less danger if it's just you there's still no knowing what level it starts out with! Just let at least one of us come with you!" Mona begged.

"Mona this is an order. The rest of you will stay out here while I get the object on the other side of that door. Trust me, I need to do this on my own."

"No you don't damn it!" Skull yelled. "You may be our leader but that doesn't mean you have to keep risking yourself for the hell of it!"

"I haven't been acting like much of a leader as of late." the emptiness in that statement calmed them down to a more worried state. "In fact, I've been nothing but a mess since this damn mission started. It's time I start getting things done. And if I have the option of not putting any of you in danger when it's unnecessary then I will take it. No objections."

They all looked at each other before they sigh with Queen walking over with some items. "If this is what it takes to get your confidence back, then I guess there's nothing we can do about it. At least take these."

She gave him magic and physical ointment with Oracle using a hack to increase his defense and accuracy/evasion. He smiles at them. "Thank you, I should be more than prepared now. I promise it won't take long."

"You better come back clean as a whistle ya hear me!" Oracle huffs trying to sound annoyed but the concern easily pierced through.

With a nod he walked up to the door and opened it up.

What they didn't expect was for a huge burst of despairing fog to come right out of the room with the Thieves covering their noses and mouths eyes watering from irritation in fear of whatever it could do to them. Joker took careful steps towards the source and when he got past the entrance he signaled the others to quickly close the door. A lot of them held reluctance in leaving him in such a horrendous room but Crow took it as his cue to quickly shut the door with the rest gathering their breath.

"Oh god that fog was so suffocating and horrible!" Panther gasps. "Are you sure it was a good idea to let Joker in there?"

"We have to trust our leader in the decisions he makes." Fox reaffirmed recovering. "Even if the conditions are concerning, we can only have faith in him."

Skull did a brief cough. "Yeah man. All we can really do now is wait. Hopefully he'll come back in a bit."

The others nodded in agreement looking back at the door that sealed their leaders fate.

\--

Darkness.

That was all Joker could see for what appeared to be miles and miles on end. He knew that wasn't the case considering he knew the actual size of the room. Although, considering it's nowhere near a normal room he will have to consistently keep his guard up.

He started walking deeper and deeper into the never ending void, it wasn't until he was starting to adjust that he heard faint whispers. Quickly turning around he didn't spot anything that could've been the source. Although listening to them more he realized they were everywhere but at the same time no where. He shook it off and walked further in not paying any mind since it wasn't like it was necessarily doing anything to him.

**It hurts.**

The first whisper he heard clearly. It sounded desperate and pleading yet empty/broken. "Mishima?"

**Why was I born?**

He felt his heart ache at such a horrible question. Joker figures it is only gonna get worse from here, so it's probably best that he doesn't stop for every comment or whisper the admin speaks. Especially with the rest of his team waiting outside growing more worried the longer he takes.

**All I am is a tool. I am nothing.**

He started walking more briskly, but the voices only grew louder.

**Nobody wants me. I'm nothing but a burden.**

**The pain never stops. It only gets worse.**

He started to run.

**I hate my life. I hate existing.**

**What's the point in doing anything if it could easily be done better by someone else?**

The air felt more suffocating like it did when he first entered. 

**Nobody loves me. Nobody cares.**

"No you're wrong! I care and I should've shown it!!!" he doesn't understand why he's responding. He highly doubts he was being heard by Mishima to begin with.

**I can disappear like the zero I am, and no one will ever notice.**

These were thoughts that ran through Mishima's head on a frequent basis wasn't it?

**There's only one way to make things better. One way to end the suffering.**

He was full on sprinting at this rate. Why hadn't he just truly listened to him? He knew the poor admin’s eyes were filled with despair and emptiness but he didn't bother.

**I have to die.**

No.

**Once I expanded my usefulness, I have no other reason to live.**

He refuses to accept this.

**I must die.**

He's trying so hard to concentrate on the task at hand but it only became more suffocating.

**Die**

This isn't happening.

**Die!!!**

He can't let him down again.

**DIE!!!!!!**

He was about to cover his ears as an attempt to block off the noise but yelps shocked when random spurts of blood appeared in the darkness. Frantically looking around he noticed the once empty space is now filled with precise slashes oozing the red substance. The closer he got the more the slashes started to develop a form around it. When he was a very short distance from it he paled realizing what formed.

An arm.

Looking back at the other slashes they all began to transform. From slashes, to arms, to human shapes, to clouds of memory. All of them soon developed into one solid thing, and the result was horrifying.

All of it was Mishima cutting himself. At different points in time, in different parts of his body, different tools, and different reasons. He can hear the reasons screaming at him from the memories. None of the memories were like the ones before. Even though it was clearly Mishima, it only showed silhouettes and outlines of the memories. The entire thing being in dark murky colors or even all black with the exception of the bright red blood. 

When he ran further into the room desperately hunting for the object he saw more memories of journal entries the admin typed in his phone about his desire to punish himself and the many gruesome ways to do it.

He nearly vomited when Mishima looked up images of said methods on an incognito tab.

Joker didn't know how much longer he could bear this. If this is what was consistently on the back of Mishima's mind 24/7 then he felt even more like a shitty friend then he did before. How can he not have noticed this? Why did he not bother to do anything until it was already too late?

No. Panther already scolded him for this. Mishima experienced trauma as bad if not worse than they did, and it was only now weighing him down more intensely because they were the straw that broke the camel's back.

Doing his best to ignore the horrific voices and images he sighs in relief seeing what appeared to be a glowing red orb on a black pedestal in the distance. That has to be the object Oracle detected in the room. Before he can go and grab it he screams when a random slash cuts the back of his hand, staining the glove a deeper red. He quickly used one of his smaller healing items and looked back to see that all the blood from the individual memories that landed on the floor formed into thin lines that slithered like snakes into the podium to be absorbed.

**nO ONe ShALl TaKe the kEy**

Ah, it was a key. So it's definitely important to grab. 

Joker took his weapons out prepared for anything. Considering his recent cut he can assume there was something preventing him from getting the orb. Using his third eye he tried to find the solution but gasps doing a quick backflip just barely avoiding another slash. When he looked back up he saw the familiar black and red tar like substance form a shadow. It took the form of a very strong looking Mothman. 

A moon arcana shadow, how fitting. 

It was nothing he hasn't dealt with before. He quickly made the first attack.

\--

Joker panted from exhaustion after defeating the shadow. He was thankful his friends thought of prepping him beforehand with the items. It made the fight considerably easier since it was just him in here. He could only imagine what the shadow would've grown into if he had others with him.

Quickly casting a media on himself he grabs the red orb without hesitation and quickly runs back to where he came from. He notices the memories were not as loud and aggressive as they were before. The blood and its scent goes away with it. He sighs in relief knowing at the very least the trip on the way back will be easier.

That was until he started seeing Mishima's silhouette everywhere with glowing pupiless eyes.

He quickly took a step back as they all slowly walked closer attempting to corner him.

**Why...**

**Why are you here? Why do they keep persisting...**

Joker didn't know if they were actually talking to him or it was just more memories and thoughts, but he figures it's best to answer just in case. "I'm going to help you Mishima. And I will most likely need this to do it."

**Lies.**

**All lies.**

**He doesn't care.**

**None of them do.**

**They need a admin for the phansite that has nothing better to do.**

**Nothing but a pawn.**

**Always have been, always will be.******

"You are not a pawn to us! We just want to help! Why don't you believe us!?" This is the admin's deepest thoughts. He has to get an efficient answer here. 

**I believed. I believed for so long....**

Endless tears came from their eyes. Not only did it make them look more sad but more disturbing as well. The creeping closer to him bit wasn't really helping it. 

**Believing only leads to pain. **

**So..so much pain.**

**Nobody wants me.**

**I'm just dead weight.**

**Everyone tells us that...**

**Even the nicer people avoid us.**

**I'm better off fading away from existence.**

**I can disappear from the face of the earth one day, and no one will notice...**

"Stop saying that! I would notice! We would all notice, because we care about you whether you like to believe it or not!" 

**LIAR!!!!!!!**

Joker shrieked and covered his ears when the silhouettes kept screaming and shaking the entire room to its core. This wasn't good. He knew this room was trying to break him down, but he won't let it. He has to pull through this. For his team, for himself... 

For Mishima.

Ignoring the ear piercing screeches and cries he stormed past the silhouettes and made a beeline straight for the exit. He lit up seeing the door getting closer and closer the more steps he took. If he listened closely he can even faintly hear his teammates voices of worry. He wasn't gonna keep him waiting for another second. He gasp seeing the black ooze that was formerly leaking through the creaks of the door outside take form around the door making a barrier to keep him in. 

As if that was gonna slow him down.

He summoned one of his personas and with a sharp call spoke "Shining Arrows!"

The ooze didn't stand a chance immediately being taken down by the bless attack. With one final push to the finish he grabbed the handle and slammed the door open much to the shock and relief of his teammates before closing it right up. He briefly lifts off his mask and pants from the exertion with his back against the door, the adrenaline rush finally calming down.

Before he could even back away from the door he was tackled by hugs from his teammates. With the exception of Crow who was standing beside them with a smile.

"Oh thank god we thought something happened in there!" Panther cried out.

Joker turns surprised. "Huh? How long was I in there?"

"Approximately twenty minutes. We agreed to step in when it hit the forty five minute mark." Queen says with a small smile.

"Dude you alright? Really had us worried for a sec." Skull patted his back.

Fox slowly retracts from his hug with his same neutral face. "You can say sitting and waiting was only further making us anxious. Glad you're back."

"Honestly could you have taken any longer!" Oracle pouted but he could clearly hear the worry in her voice.

"What matters is that you came back to us relatively unharmed." Noir smiled.

Crow chuckles. "You're quite something aren't you?

Mona rubs the back of his head. "Well? Were you able to get it? Didn't want you to go through all of that for nothing."

Joker gave his signature smirk taking out the orb. "You mean this?"

The group cheered once more before Queen clapped her hands. "Alright guys let's get serious. We should head back to the initial path we came from. Our business here is done." 

"Queen is right, we still have some things to cover in this palace. That is unless you all want to call it all a day and reconvene another time." Crow suggested.

"To be fair some of us might be a little tired, but we'll just have to switch things up a bit!" Noir said with a determined expression on her face.

Skull nodded looking eager. "Hell yeah! I ain't gonna let something that small get me down! This is for Mishima after all. The sooner we help the better!"

"Speaking of which, do we have a time limit for this?" Fox asked.

Queen hummed in thought. "Not as far as I know, Joker?" 

"We do, trust me. And we really do have to secure a route as soon as possible. Since this time limit is unpredictable for certain reasons." he says completely serious. "My thing is, I don't want to run you all to the ground."

"No worries Joker, we got this! I still have a little energy left so we just have to ration our supplies!" Mona grinned.

"Well if that's the case. Let's keep going."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welp that happened. But if you're wondering about these chapters that don't involve the cognitions I wanted to take a little break from it since it would probably become a bit boring if it was just the same thing but a different character for a bunch of chapters in a row. But don't worry we're still gonna see Futaba Haru Akechi and so on in future chapters, this is almost like a intermission from that and to show a bit more of the palace. Anyways, till next time!


	14. Cognitive Futaba

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After treading through Mishima's deepest thoughts and memories they now must travel a different path where they meet more of the cognitions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also we all know here distorted theme since it's in the game so no link this time^^;

On their way back to the entrance everyone agreed to never bring up what they saw back there unless absolutely necessary. Not only to spare them the head and heartache but out of respect for Mishima. When they reached back to the entrance they briefly stole a glance at the path to the right which still contained that shabby locked door.

Joker walked over to the door with his team trailing not far behind. "I guess it's time we see what's in here."

"I'm not detecting any shadows, it seems to be just a small simple room." Oracle said going over her data.

"Well then what are we waiting for?" Crow asks. "Let's unlock it and step inside. There might be something valuable."

With a nod of agreement Joker took out the key and unlocked the door gently opening it since it seemed like the door could collapse at any second. Stepping inside they briefly looked around and noticed it was just a bedroom. Although it looked more like a jail cell with the exception of the little trinkets and a small pile of clothes littering the floor.

"Is this supposed to be Mishima's room?" Skull asked in shock.

"Sadly it is fitting since he sees himself as a mere peasant." Fox said with a somber tone.

"My urge to shower him with love and affection grows stronger for every minute I'm here." Noir said seriously.

Mona's ears and tail droops. "While it is something we would all like to do, considering how poisoned his mindset is, he'll most likely interpret it as us belittling him."

Joker lets out a small sigh. "I hate that you're right." He inspected the desks as he saw a pile of papers with Mishima's choir list and daily duties. Joker almost let out a small hiss seeing how long and extensive it was before shoving it aside. "The cognitive versions of us really do run him ragged. It's amazing that he can even stand."

"It is the cognitive world so anything is possible." Crow reasoned. "If this were the real world Mishima here would practically be a dead man walking."

"And he already isn't?" Panther says slightly bitter.

"Fair enough. Regardless, I'm not seeing anything of much value here. Shall we leave?"

"Hold on." Queen finished up going through the trinkets before taking out a small pendant with a dull black gem. "This may not look like much now but better to be safe than sorry."

"Aside from that I think we just about went through everything." Oracle hummed as they all made a swift exit making sure to leave the door exactly how they found it.

"That room barely fit us. It was more cramped than Oracle's room. And hers barely fits us when we only had half of our team." Panther said.

"We should be use to such horrid commodities at this point. Speaking of Oracle, do you know what lies ahead on the left?" Crow asked.

"Well it seems to lead to a separate area, it almost acts like a garden or a giant canopy. Maybe even both. But it looks like it'll help us get closer to the top."

"If that's the case we know where our next destination is." 

"Guys hide, I think Mishima is coming!" Noir whisper shouted with everyone quickly hiding behind the entrance of the middle path. 

Mishima slowly came into view with what looked like a tray full of food and snacks. His grip shaky from exhaustion and the limp he supported on one of his legs caused Skull especially to wince. He walked down the left path with nothing but his pained grunts in his wake not noticing the thieves at all.

They came out of their hiding place with prominent frowns. "I wish we can move faster than we already are." Queen sighs.

"Let's just keep following him. At this point his awareness is lacking immensely."

Upon Joker's statement they proceeded to follow behind Mishima at a steady pace ducking for cover whenever they could. Although they slowly realized they didn't need to try that hard considering he wasn't reacting to anything happening around him. At some point they just casually started to walk behind him at a silent distance and he still didn't budge. But when he approached a door they re-hid knowing the odds of a cognition of one of them appearing at the other side. The shadow used his back to open the door since his hands still held the tray and let it close behind him.

"I should be on the other side right?" Oracle sighs. "I'm not really stronger than him in any sense so I don't get how I would have power over him."

"You're a hacker correct?"

Oracle turned to Crow as he stared at the door Mishima went through. "You are a professional hacker that can get through anything and everything. You have completed many feats as the original Medjed and Alibaba that a more standard hacker can ever dream of. So yes, physically there is no power struggle...."

"But I'm leagues better than him in tech and computers." She finished. "I can essentially do whatever I want on the web while he only has the Phansite...." Oracle crouched down hugging her knees out of instinct. "Is that why he got so silent when I was showing him my computer...?"

Joker kneeled beside her and hugged her close with a gentle head pat to top it off. "It's okay you didn't know. None of us knew apparently. Remember when all of this is said and done, we'll make up for it. Just like we always do."

"I don't know if I wanna see an evil version of me...at least my shadow wasn't that bad."

"We all hated it. But if we want Mishima to get better we gotta pull through. Besides, none of them represent the real us remember?" Panther softly smiled.

"Yeah....yeah!" Joker let go when Oracle stood back up. "We're only slowing down by paying too much attention to this kind of thing. Ready when you are Joker." and just like that she was chipper and raring to go once more.

Joker turns back to the entrance. "Alright, now we gotta slip through the door as discreetly as possible."

The thieves carefully cracked open the door to slip through and were at awe with the place before them. It was a mixture of a garden and canopy like Oracle had stated before. Flower beds of all types with prominently negative meanings splayed around. An entire area that was made for the canopy in the center and all of the computer equipment/snacks held within. There wasn't even a roof or walls. It was a giant open space that allowed them to see the constant dark storm that seemed to permanently coincide with the cathedral. The area itself seemed more like it was formed as a separate piece rather than another room of the palace.

Crow took a careful look at the sky and the roaring thunder he kept hearing. "Is it me or has the storm grown more chaotic?"

"I think it has. Is it tied to one of Mishima's emotions?" Queen questioned.

"That is possible, what is the real version of him doing right now-" Fox asked.

Noir gently pointed ahead. "Guys look."

They look directly ahead to see Mishima kneel down before a cognitive Futaba who eerily looks similar to her original shadow with a Egyptian looking dress. But instead there was no head peace, only a pixel looking hair clip and the wrappings were replaced with a cyber looking gradient. The entire outfit was completed with a green and black color scheme, looking closer to the colors of Futaba's phantom thief outfit. She rested beneath the canopy and on top of the end of a giant bed with plenty of pillows and snacks surrounding her. The laptop she always carries around sat right in front of her crossed legs and the pc units were placed beside the bed.

The Shadow gently placed the try on top of the table in front of the bed and bowed his head in submission. "Your lunch Miss Sakura."

"You're late NPC. I swear it's ridiculous how slow you are!"

"I-I'm sorry. I'll do better."

"Yeah yeah whatever. I'm still obligated to teach you more code so you can actually be useful for once. Now hop to it!"

Mishima only silently nodded as he crawled underneath Futaba's legs so she could rest them on top of his back like a foot stool. She went on her computer and began to type while taking a piece of a sandwich from the tray the admin brought in. After swallowing the bite she waved her hand at him in an uncaring manner with the sandwich still in her grasp. "Listen up, I feel like giving the lesson by ear today and maybe if you're lucky you can look at my monitor. But no way in hell are you getting your filthy mitts on my laptop, might break it with how bad at everything you are."

"O-okay. By the way the bishop told me the other day that I had to make sure you ate all of your lunch. S-since you have a snacking tendency-ah!" he shrieked when she kicked him on his side right on a wound. 

"Don't tell me what to do Nishima! You're lucky it was a message from the bishop or I would've thrown you off of the edge!" she huffs putting her leg right back on his shaking form.

"Y-yes yes I understand."

"Good, now as for your lesson..."

She began to instruct him on the basics as Oracle instinctively went smaller. "Guess I really am no better. I sound like a spoiled brat...."

"But that's not the real you, remember that." Noir softly smiled at her.

"I know I know, but it just hurts seeing him think of me like that. Well, all of us really. I mean, Queen's was downright terrifying."

"And I still can't remove it from my mind. Skull's was basically the caricature of what the rumors at school says he's like."

"Don't remind me of that shit man." Skull rubbed the back of his neck with a gruff sound coming out of him. "Anyways you think there's anything of value here?"

"Oracle's counterpart seems to talk a little bit about the bishop. I already have my theories, but it wouldn't hurt to hear more info about them. " Crow said.

"Crow has a point, we need to gather any info we can get regarding any possible battles we might have ahead. I'd say we do some good old fashion eavesdropping." Morgana purred out.

The group came to an agreement about his suggestion and got closer to the duo being as silent as possible.

Futaba was in the middle of explaining the functions of if else statements before Mishima carefully stuttered out. "M-miss Sakura I already know javascript..."

She sharply turned to him with a deadly glare. "Wanna say that again?"

He let out a small eep instinctively shrinking into himself. "N-no no nothing at all-"

She once again hit his side before bringing her laptop in front of him and grabbing his hair to pull him towards the screen earning a hiss. "Tell me what you see on the screen right now."

"I-I....u-uh....-"

"Tell me right now smart ass!!!!"

"I-it's not javascript I t-think it's Malbolge-"

"Wow look at that you got something right for a change!" she said, pulling harder. "Next time you talk back to me I'm reporting it to the bishop!"

Mishima paled at the words quickly trying to turn to her with no avail. "Oh god p-please no! I can't get a-another report, I just can't!

"Well maybe shut your mouth and listen to what I'm telling you! If the bishop wasn't so forgiving and charitable you would've been gone a long time ago!"

The cognition kept yelling more insults and obscenities at the poor admin as the others mulled over the info. "That's not much but better then nothing." Mona sighs.

"That's odd...."

Joker turned to Oracle with a raised eyebrow. "What do you mean?"

"When my meaner self asked what was on the screen he said Malbolge."

"Yeah so what?" Skull questioned.

"Malbolge is one of, if not the toughest coding language you could possibly learn. I already figured Mishima knows javascript since he managed to make a website but the fact that he recognizes such a tough language means he's more skilled in coding then he thinks he is. When I showed him my computer it was a multitude of extremely tough coding languages that I was used to always using. It must've intimidated him and made him feel like he was doing baby stuff when he actually accomplished quite a bit for his skill level." she frowns.

"So in summary, he was giving himself an unfair comparison to you so now he feels that he is no longer doing a good job running the site." Queen hummed. "I wouldn't blame him for thinking that. I'm almost certain his mindset is that of 'why should I do this when they have someone much more capable.' despite us having a lot of achievements because of his work on the site."

"While I hate to end this revelation Oracle's cognition did reveal a little bit about the bishop." Crow began.

"How they're 'forgiving and charitable?" Joker asked.

"Yes, do you think it's an exaggeration like everything else or is the bishop actually the most hospitable one in the palace? Considering how the cognitions behave I have my doubts."

"Well the important part is that Mishima believes the bishop is charitable and forgiving. They have to be special or different to him compared to the rest of us." Noir said.

"I mean he did give them the highest position in this palace so of course they would be on a whole other level." Queen stated before looking back at the admin and cognition. "Oh looks like she's done."

"Finally." Oracle groans.

Looking back Mishima has long been left on the ground to mull over his new injuries while Futaba took her place back on the bed. "Bored now. What else is there to do after this." she huffs.

The beaten boy slowly sat up. "I-I don't know. What are you i-in the mood for....?"

"Hmmm. I wanna play games with the bishop!"

"H-he's too busy right now Miss Sakura. Will I suffice?" he softly said with a bowed head.

She bursts into laughter wiping a fake tear in her eye. "Y-you? Being a good back up for the bishop!? That's the funniest thing you've said all day NPC!" she slowly calmed down before her face morphed into a serious expression. "So what's he handling this time? Did you give him a half ass request that he basically has to do all the work to get answers for when he already has so much on his plate?"

"I-I.....yes-"

She threw her hands up exasperated. "God you can't even do basic research! What kind of operation are you even running here when you can barely carry your own weight!?"

"I was just so t-tired and if I didn't know h-how to look any deeper-"

"Well duh of course you don't." She leaned back on her pillow playing with her red featherman figure. "You know one day the bishop is gonna be sick and tired of your laziness and ask me to handle those half baked requests. I mean, you're struggling to do your one job right while I can do it as a hobby and make it twenty times better." Mishima paled trying to keep himself from shaking too much. "Do you know why he keeps you around?"

"Well....um...n-no not really..."

"Because you're convenient. A more than willing worker with any and all expense paid." she smirked. "Let's be honest, we both know I could've replaced you a long time ago. We don't and never did need you. But hey, it's always fun to have a lap dog." Futaba burst into laughter soon after.

"A-as long as I do what I'm supposed to the bishop will still k-keep me!" he spoke, still shaky but more confident in his words.

Her laughter was halted instantly. "Have you seen yourself? You're clearly on your last legs. I bet right now that you're struggling to even walk without collapsing from exhaustion. Little Nishima falling apart bit by bit until all that's left is an empty shell." She then put a finger to her lip in fake realization. "Oh wait, you already are. You might as well be a zombie that feeds on attention rather than brains! Although you could use those too considering how dumb you are."

She resumed her laughter from earlier as the admin deflated bowing his head in defeat. "I-I'll just tell the bishop your request."

"About time! Now make like a tree!"

He nodded slowly before slowly getting up and walking back to the doors he came from. The shadow continued to work on her pc with a hum as if nothing ever happened.

The group looked at each other as Futaba's fists were shaking. "Joker. I know I don't usually fight, but what I do know is that when the day comes. She's. Mine." Oracle said with an aggressive determination.

"No worries, we were all thinking the same thing with our counterparts." Skull huffs.

"He's on the move, we should get going now that there's nothing left for us here." Crow stated.

"Hey guys, look at the sky again."

After hearing what Panther said they all looked up to see that the sky looked more like a black storm with hints of crimson lightning peeking out here and there, looking worse than when they initially came here. It put them all on edge as they made their way back to the entrance.

"Something tells me that whatever is brewing is approaching soon." Fox said not once, tearing his eyes away.

"Inside. Now."

Nobody questioned Joker's order as they all went inside and noticed Mishima turn a corner down the hall. When they attempted to follow they were greeted with more shadows that quickly dissolved into enemies. Wasting no time to spare, they quickly went into battle. Last thing they want is to lose the admin. Lord knows what he's being subjected to on the next floor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope this chapter was worth the wait since I can safely say we're practically more then halfway there after the next chapter gets released. Leave a comment to tell me your thoughts and thanks for reading!

**Author's Note:**

> So yeah this is another Mishima has a palace fic but I wanted to do a more different take to it then what I've mostly seen so far. I don't know how many chapters this will end up having but don't worry I already have a basic plot on how this story is gonna go. 
> 
> And by the way not only is this my first persona fic but it's also my first fic on ao3 in general. So I hope I started this out alright and hopefully I can update this at a somewhat decent time but you know how life is. Till next time!


End file.
